Chapter 8

JAYSON

I knew it wouldn't be long before the Terror of Black Lake struck. It was only a matter of time.

I had hoped that I was straightening her out enough, to actually be a disciplined, young girl. I guess I was wrong.

I know her seeing me with Wren had something to do with the tennis ball attack. I just don't know what for. It's not like she can be mad at me. We are in no way together. We're barely friends.

But clearly, if her aiming balls at my head wasn't an indication of her being angry, her face, when she was back on the field, definitely was.

I wish she didn't see it, but I won't feel bad about it. I have no attachment to her. Yeah, she's gorgeous. Funny, smart, a good fighter. But I refuse to get involved. I won't. And I won't be held responsible for her school girl crush either.

 So why do I feel like a giant asshole?

I probably could've explained myself, but I shouldn't have to. I don't need to explain myself to anyone.

Wren insisted I talk to her and I flat out refused. What I do in my private life is no one's business.

Which is why I will be supervising her during her extra hour of practice.

I'll make her rethink her choices and make it clear this isn't about me. It's about her.

For her punishment after practice, I have her doing squats and planks over and over again for her hour.

She's panting, sweating. Almost dying.

I'm squatting beside her while she's in her final plank position. I pick up a blade of grass, play with it a bit and throw it. I speak to her in a monotone voice. Almost threatening in nature. "Did I not say. You continue to fuck with me, I'll make your life hell. Did I not say that?"

I look at her as she fights her plank. She's starting to dip.

"Get that back straight." I grit. She corrects herself.

"I thought you were making progress, Sarah. I really did. I thought, here's a good kid who really wants to try. She just needs someone to understand her. I thought for sure your rep wouldn't follow you here from back home. Imagine my disappointment as you tried to smash my face with a tennis ball." I studied her reactions to my words.

"You don't have a responsible bone in your body, do you?" I see how red her face is. She's shaking as she holds herself up.

"Obviously, you couldn't care less about yourself or other people. Even those trying to help you. People who actually give a damn about how you turn out. But I can see now.......Release." She flops on the ground, her face buried in her arms.

I lean closer. "I can see, Sarah. I'm doing nothing, but wasting my fucking time. Hit the showers." I get up and walk back to my office. Leaving her there on the field.

Yeah, I'm probably a cruel bastard for talking to her like that, but I told her what she needed to hear. She's better than her reputation. Her self-control is in there. I've seen it. I'm hoping my words will put a fire in her belly that will burn hot enough to make her want this for herself, just as much I do.

Because it may not look like, but I'm rooting for her. I won't give up on her. I know there's a good kid in there. This is just a temporary setback for her. I can feel it.

****

She hasn't spoken to me or even looked at me proper in three days.

I've been running her pretty ragged after practice. Telling her how she's not this person. She doesn't need to be here. Trying to encourage her, but not letting her off the hook.

After watching her run suicides, I tell her to take a knee. She jogs up. She's hurting, trying to breathe. She gets down on one knee. Not looking at me. She just rests her head on her arm on her thigh.

I take a knee in front of her. Crossing my arms on my knee.

"Now, for four days, I've reminded you who you're supposed to be. So, I have to ask, do you still want to be that kid on the roof, or do you want something more?" I stare at the back of her head.

"Sarah. Look at me." She raises her head and sits up on her back leg. Her face is red, pained and tired.

"Who do you want to be, Sarah?" I ask her.

"I want to be myself." She pants.

I nod. "Does that include the violent kid, hitting people with tennis balls?"

She shakes her head. She looks like she's about to cry. "No." She chokes.

I put a hand on her shoulder. "Do you want me to help you?"

"No." She shrugs off my hand.

I look confused. "You don't want help?"

She nods. "I want help, but not from you." She stands and grabs her water bottle. She downs half of it.

"Why don't you want me to help you?" I stand up and walk to her.

"Because I don't. I don't need you." She packs up her bag.

I rub my neck. "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not." She starts to walk off the field. I jog to catch up.

"Yes, you are. Look. I get that seeing me and Wren together...."

She cuts me off. "It's not about that." She throws open the door to the dorms.

I'm trying to keep up. "What's it about then."

She opens her room and throws her bag on the floor. She grabs her shower bag and comes back out to the hallway headed for the shower.

"Sarah." I grab her arm and spin her around.

She scratches her temple. "Just...forget it. I'm not mad and I don't care who you sleep with. I have to go."

She spins on her heels into the shower room.

As much as I should be relieved that she's not mad, I feel like it's a lie.

She's mad at me for sleeping with Wren and I'm starting to care about it. When she told me she didn't want my help a little piece inside me felt pained.

I heave a sigh and leave for my office.

I sit down at my desk. Rub my head, staring at the paperwork I've been trying to do for the last couple of days.

I try to work for hours but only end up just staring into the room, playing with my pen.

Why do I care so much? I shouldn't.

The image of Sarah staring at me at the door flashed across my mind. The look on her face. The shock of it. I don't even know why she was there in the first place. I didn't call her there.

I scrub my fingers through my hair. Bending over my paperwork.

Why was she at my door that day?

"Why?"

I grab my keys and rush out the door. I head to Sarah's room to get this burning question out of my head.

I stand in front of her door and raise my hand. I hesitate. Do I really need to know this? I think it over and knock on the door.

It felt like an eternity before I hear soft footsteps seemingly stumble to the door.

She opens the door. "Jayson? What are you doing here. It's after midnight."

I eye her up and down. She's in little pink shorts and a tank top. Her eyes are puffy from sleep.

I pull out my phone. Shit. I didn't even realize the time.

She comes out into the hall and shuts the door. Crossing her arms.

"I just need to ask you question then I'll leave you alone." I say leaning on the door frame. My arm beside her head.

She rubs her eyes. "Ok."

"Why were you at my office that day?" I wait for a response.

She shakes her head. "Uh. I don't remember."

"You don't remember or you don't want to tell me?" I search her eyes.

"I don't remember." She repeats.

I point my finger at her. "Why?"

She squints her eyes. "I don't.... remember." she says adamantly.

I smack the door frame hard making her flinch a bit. "That's bullshit! Why, Sarah?"

Her mouth goes small and she shakes her head. Tears line her eyes.

I hit the frame again. She squeezes her eyes shut "Tell me!"

"I just wanted to thank you for the Saturday morning because it was really special to me and I never shared that with anyone before. It just......meant a lot." Her voice was shaky. A tiny tear falls from her eye that she quickly wiped away.

My jaw falls and my hand drops from the door. I am a giant prick. "Sarah...I..."

She sniffs. "No. It's fine. It's not important. I'll....um.... see you at practice." She whips around, opens the door and hurries herself inside.

I reach out and run my fingers down the closed door in front of me. I should have realized she was there for a reason. I should of listened to Wren and talked with her when it happened. I thought this was about me having sex with Wren when really it was about tarnishing an important moment for her.

I could have fixed it, had I just talked with her. I would've told her it was a special moment for me too. That I felt honored she would share something so special to her, with me.

I lean on the wall across from her door. Fuck. No wonder she tried to kill me with tennis balls.

I give her door a second glance before heading to my own room.

I may not be involved with Sarah, but I have to fix this somehow. For her own sake. If I leave it, somehow, I feel things with her will only get worse.

I think I know what to do.

****

The next morning, I'm at her door again. Dressed in sweats, tank and runners.

I knock. Waiting patiently.

She opens the door slowly. Ashley's behind her in the room, grabbing her stuff.

They both blink at me like I'm some sort of alien.

I smile "Good morning."

Sarah looks back at Ashley then back to me. "Uh...good morning. It's 5:30. I didn't miss early practice, did I?"

I chuckle. "No. But are you ready to head out?"

Ashley pushes past Sarah. "Um. I'm going to go. I'll see you out there. Luv you." She hugs Sarah.

"Luv you, too." Sarah hugs her back.

Ashley gives me a curious look and walks to the outside door.

I lean on the frame crossing my arms. "So. You ready?"

"We....don't need to be there for another thirty minutes." She eyes me up and down.

The corner of my mouth ticks up. "We're not going to practice. At least, not yet."

Her brow furrows. "Why?"

I lean to her slightly. "We're going to dance first." I smile wiggling my brow.

She pauses. Then she smiles, spins around and grabs her gym bag. "Let's go."

I took her to the clearing and put on my Spotify on random.

We both started dancing around like a couple of crazy people. It's weird. Ask me a month ago if I'd be here, dancing like a lunatic in the middle of the woods and I'd probably punch you in the face.

But, here I am. With this larger than life, wily, 18-year-old girl. Watching her twirl, having fun and smiling.

And somewhere deep inside, I'm liking every minute of it.

After we sit on the ground, leaning on the log. She has her knees up and her arms wrapped around them. Her head resting on her knees. She looking at me.

I throw a piece if grass. "What?"

"Nothing." She shakes her head on her knees. "You didn't have to do this." She smiles.

"Well, I kind of had an ulterior motive." I smirk.

She lifts her head. "What's that?"

"Saving myself from getting beaten with tennis balls again." I bump her.

She giggles. "Sorry."

I turn to her. Leaning my elbow on the log and my head in my hand. "Tell me about this. About how it started."

She mirrored my position. "Um...I was about 7 or 8. I got into a fight at school. Again. I got a two-day suspension. Deemed a problem kid."

I furrowed my brow. "You were so little."

She shrugs. "It wasn't my first time. Anyway, my mother was on her last nerve. The day I was supposed to go back, my mom was making breakfast and dancing around the kitchen. I started dancing too. She saw me and started to dance with me. While we danced, she held my hands. She told me to let go of everything. The fight, the teachers, the other kids and just dance feeling whatever's in my heart. Then she sent me off to school."

She picked at the log.

"What happened?" I ask.

Her mouth ticked. "Nothing. I had a great day. So great the teacher called my mom to ask her what we did. After that, I danced every morning before school. Some days it didn't work or I didn't have time, but for the most part, my mother saved me."

I gave a small smile. Eyeing her. "Why don't you want anyone to know?"

She turned back to leaning on the log. Sighing. "Like I said, it's easier to have people think you're weird, then to prove them right."

I turn my back to the log. "Sarah, I'm sorry. I should've talked to you sooner. I want you know, I'm happy to share something that means so much to you. That you trusted me with this."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Well, it's not like you'll go blabbing about the camp screw up dancing in the woods."

I chuckle. "True."

She turns and leans on the log again. "I was hurt. But, it's not your fault. It's mine."

I gave her a curious look. "How was it your fault?"

She picked at the log again. "I just.... had things in my mind that were.... not what I expected. I'm sorry. For everything."

I eye her again. "What things?"

She gets up. Dusting herself off. "Nothing. Just some stupid girl stuff."

"No, Sarah. I want to know." I stood up and was probably closer to her then I should have been.

She stared at me and I realized the heat we had been feeling over the past weeks has returned. Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink. My eyes locked with hers. The air pressure increased. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss her pouty lips.

Before I could, she broke it off. She grabbed her gym bag and slung it over her shoulder. "We should get to practice. Thank you.... for this."

She walked backwards a bit, smiling, then turned to the field.

I blow out a shaky breath. Standing in the clearing, hands on my hips. I don't know what I'm feeling right now, but I think Sarah feels the same thing.

I'm starting to believe there's something there between us. The question is what.