He began missing Ronan's presence whenever he went to that particular restaurant, and and Ronan wasn't there. O'Connell began wondering if it was because of what had transpired between them on that night, that Ronan had refused coming to the restaurant.
The way Ronan had bade him goodnight and left, had seem somewhat final. That Ronan would stop being his friend, and leave him alone. But He hadn't taken it serious. He thought he was going to see Ronan again the next day.
But when he didn't see him the whole of that week, he began wondering if Ronan had made the decision to stop coming around. And when O'Connell didn't see him at the restaurant either, he didn't want to think Ronan had stopped coming there as well. It felt so unusual with him absent on there.
But why would Rona
O'Connell snapped his eyes back to Ronan's, just in time to catch his eyes. Eyes that had been on him all those while he had been lost in his thoughts. Ronan had watched him in silence, and he wanted to know what was going on in his mind as well. But he wasn't staring at O'Connell like he wanted to sleep with him. He was looking at O'Connell with care. Like O'Connell was someone who had a special place in his heart.O'Connell saw Ronan's hand moving, and then he placed it untop his.He wondered why Ronan did that. Because Ronan was beginning to make him feel things he didn't want to feel. Things only Jeremy made hum feel. But this time, Ronan's was different, and O'Connell was afraid it was stronger as well.O'Connell gave Ronan a curious look, wordlessly asking him what he was up to. But Ronan chose to remain silent, and then caressed O'Connell's hand. Making him feeling the heat that was radiating from his warm big paw.Ronan did this for sometime
O'Connell could still recall how he had first met Ronan at the restaurant. He knew it was something he could never forget. Plus how it all started between him and Ronan, the Scottish boy who had fill in the hole that was in his heart.O'Connell blinked away from those thoughts, and could feel his eyes welling up with tears, as he hugged Ronan even tighter, on the day the boy had showed up with a box of pizza and wine. It was a week to get leaving for Nigeria, and he hadn't told Ronan yet. He was scared of how Ronan was going to react. He knew he couldn't stay in London with him, because he had alot of things to go tend at home. And all of this broke his heart even more.His mom wanted him to come back to tend to his younger siblings. He was to be tutored in Maths, so he could write and pass his WASSCE, for him to get enrolled into the varsity the following year.Thinking about leaving London, was making O'Connell sick.He had come to love Ronan so much, t
Ronan had cried because O'Connell had broken his heart. Said he didn't love him. And that all the times they had made love and everything, that it was Jeremy O'Connell thought about.O'Connell wanted to stop himself from feeling terrible, but he couldn't help it. He had hurt Ronan, a boy who truly loved him and it was affecting him deeply. Cutting sharp into him like knives.It was unbearable, completely making him fell like a horrible person, and leaving his mind troubled."Why did you act like you loved me, why? Why the fuck did you give me false hopes!?" Ronan yelled, causing passerbys to turn and then threw him curious looks. But he didn't even care. The boy who he loved just broken his heart and shattered it into a thousand pieces."Ronan, I thought you said you could never love anyone. That you could never get tied down to anyone? So I figured it was best to not catch any feelings for you. So it's not even my fault." O'Connell tried to m
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me this? You fucking knew you were going to leave. And you kept it away from me!" This was Ronan, roaring in anger. Something which made O'Connell flinched. "How could you do this? How could you? Fucking telling me a day to the day, you're to return back to Nigeria." Ronan was pacing back and forth in an aggressive manner, that O'Connell moved farther away from him. Scared he was going to pounce on him, and beat his ass. "I was scared to let you know, okay? I didn't expect to find love in London, after getting my heart broken in Nigeria, three months ago." O'Connell opened up, shoving his fists into his pockets as he looked around him in sadness. Because he knew he was never going to see there again. And Ronan instantly snapped his head back, to look at O'Connell in disappointment. Then he shook his head. "How can you even say that?" "Because it's the truth." O'Connell supplied, after taking a hard dry gulp, feeling pain
Continuation of flashback O'Connell snapped his eyes back to Ronan's, just in time to catch his eyes. Eyes that had been on him all those while he had been lost in his thoughts. Ronan had watched him in silence, and he wanted to know what was going on in his mind as well. But he wasn't staring at O'Connell like he wanted to sleep with him. He was looking at O'Connell with care. Like O'Connell was someone who had a special place in his heart. O'Connell saw Ronan's hand moving, and then he placed it untop his. He wondered why Ronan did that. Because Ronan was beginning to make him feel things he didn't want to feel. Things only Jeremy made hum feel. But this time, Ronan's was different, and O'Connell was afraid it was stronger as well. O'Connell gave Ronan a curious look, wordlessly asking him what he was up to. But Ronan chose to remain silent, and then caressed O'Connell's hand. Making him feeling the heat that was radiating from his warm bi
O'Connell knew he did the right thing, by choosing to walk out of Ronan's life. Not that he had a choice anyway. And inspite of his heart being sick, guilt still stung him deeply for what he had done.He knew Ronan was already hurting because of him. Then thought about how easily Ronan would forget him, because Ronan already had multiple sexual partners.Ronan had told him when they were just friends, that he could never stick to just one person.Ronan was only inlove with him, but didn't leave the numerous men and women in his life. He still carried on with his relationship with them. Something which had made O'Connell to feel really insecure, back in London.And on the contract, O'Connell thought it was good things ended between them. Because he could no longer contain that feeling of not being the only one. He was quite relieved on that part.But Ronan had thought him alot. A whole lot.Thought him how to sex, how to exp
O'Connell woke up and found himself at the hospital, with Raymond who had a worried facial expression, staring into an empty space.O'Connell took a hard dry gulp that it almost hurt, and then he raised his hand up to touch his head. There he felt a bandage.Something which reminded him of the treacherous hitting, he suffered from his own mother, just because she was having negative thoughts about him. Especially when she saw him with a boy."I can't stay with mom anymore." O'Connell's told Raymond this. And his words Suddenly pulled Raymond out from his own thoughts.On seeing O'Connell awake, Raymond blew out a breath, then propped his hand under his chin."I've been thinking about this too. Your mom seems to be getting worse each passing day. And it's not safe for you to live with her anymore."In as much as it hurt to hear this, O'Connell knew he needed to man up. It was time for him to start making his own decisions, because
"Do you want to go back to London? Your grandma Estella would agree to that, if I talk to her." Raymond suggested after a long pause of thinking. And O'Connell was forced to let his thoughts travel back to London.***He found himself watching the boys, and felt his face forming into a slight scowl when the teenage girls left their table to go meet the boys, and flirt with them openly. He couldn't help staring, as the three girls sat down with these boys, smiling widely. With a waitress hovering around their table, taking their orders.One of the girls, flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, as she talked to the one with black hair in a pony tail, and lip piercing. Her eyes lit up, as she carried on staring at him with admiration. Not even feeling ashamed that she was making a fool of her self, which made her seem cheap.O'Connell thought about how life was, in Nigeria. Of course it was fun. He cou