Chapter 1

I was on my way home early to surprise my husband, my heart lighter than it had been in weeks. My business trip to Sydney ended a full day sooner than expected.

I missed Ryan so much that all I could think about was running into his arms and losing myself in his warmth. It had been a long, exhausting trip filled with meetings and pressure. Now, all I wanted was to be with him.

I thought I would finally have a week off from work. As the Chief Editor at The Moo’s publishing company, rest was a luxury I rarely enjoyed. Deadlines, endless pressures and expectations were endless. Still, I was hoping to get a week off from work.

Soon, my work phone rang, slicing through the calm of my taxi ride.

"Yes, Mr. Peter," I said, keeping my voice calm and professional. "I will be at the office tomorrow morning. I will prepare all the reports for the new CEO. Yes, I will print them on paper."

I stayed polite throughout the call, even as irritation tightened my jaw, and  I was rolling my eyes. The new CEO already sounded like trouble, another spoiled heir sent from the parent company to “prove himself.”

What a complete waste of time.

"Yes, everything is ready. I will make it easy for him to review the company. Don’t worry everything is under control.

"Good night to you too, Mr. Peter."

The call ended, and I let out a long breath. I slipped my phone back into my bag, closed my laptop, and leaned back against the seat.

Downtown glittered under the night light. There were bright lights from tall buildings. Cars moving and blaring their horns, and the drizzling rain added to the beauty of the city. But I was too exhausted to appreciate any of it. My eyes stared out the window, but my mind was elsewhere.

I had lived in Seattle for seven years, long enough to get used to the noise, but never enough to love it. Back home in my hometown, life had been slow and quiet. Here, everything moved too fast and too loud. But I stayed for Ryan.

He said Seattle was the perfect place to build his dream of becoming a successful businessman. Seven years later, that dream was still just a dream. And I’m the one paying for everything, including our house. I never had any savings for myself despite working in a big organization and earning well. All my salaries went to Ryan’s business idea, and the rest for taking care of the household expenses.

The taxi driver looked at me in his mirror. "What job do you have ma’am? It is almost midnight. Your boss still calls you." He asked, trying to make small talk.

The lights outside turned into lines of color. I did not talk much about my life. But today I felt heavy and sad. "I am an editor. I work at The Moo’s publishing company. I am the Chief Editor."

"That sounds important," he said. "It must pay well. But you look very tired. Is your job always this hard?"

I sighed again. "Yes. But I need the job. I have to help my husband with his dream."

"Does your husband not have a job?"

"He makes very little money now. So I do it all. Seattle costs a lot of money."

"Yes, prices are high everywhere," he said. We were quiet for a while. Then he asked, "What is his dream?"

"He wants to be a big businessman. He wants to own his own company. He has tried for seven years." I made a sad face. So much time had passed with no success.

"That is hard work," he said. You know, starting up your own business can be very difficult if you don’t know your way around it. "Has he opened any company yet?"

"Three, but they all folded within six months" My face looked more unhappy.

"That sounds like hard work for little money. Is it good for him to keep trying or should he get a job?"

His words made me think hard. I looked away from his eyes. "No, it is not good. But he will not stop, and he refused to get a job."

"So he has no real job?"

I waited a moment. Then I said, "He is trying to catch something that is not there."

The driver said, "If he’s not good at business like you said and he will not find other work, why stay with him? He seems like a problem for you."

I did not answer. The driver saw I felt bad. He felt sorry for asking too much. He stopped talking and drove to my apartment.

He didn’t know his words had already sunk deep into me.

Talking about it forced me to face a truth I had been avoiding. Ryan was holding me back. I had spent years supporting him, believing in him, carrying the weight of both our lives. I had begged him to get a job, to help out, even temporarily. But he always gave the same answer.

"The business world is very hard. It is not my fault the previous ones I tried folded. I have the skill and I’m very intelligent, I will start up another business, I just need money."

"You are my wife. You should help me now. I do not ask you to find me jobs. Just pay the bills. I want to give you a good life too. Trust me. It will be worth it soon."

Is it worth it? A bitter ache spread through my chest. Seven years and nothing to show for it.

“At least he wasn’t cheating on me… right? The thought came uninvited. I almost laughed at myself. Was that really the standard now?

I knew I should have left him a long time ago, I earned enough and I could live comfortably, travel, breathe freely. But I stayed.

Because I couldn’t have children.

And in a world where that mattered more than love. What man would ever want to stay with a barren woman?

We had been married for seven years. We tried for a child countless times, hoping, praying, but nothing ever came of it. I wanted a baby so badly it hurt. But the doctors had already given their quiet verdict.

Ryan’s family were on my neck to give them a grandchild. Especially his mother. She seized every chance to call me “a barren land, that only knows how to squander her son’s money. Her words cut deeper each time.

So I worked hard and took up the financial responsibility to make up for it. I was always buying gifts for Ryan and his parents to appease them.

To me that was the only way I could make up for something my body refused to give.

And deep down, I was afraid of being alone, coming back after a stressful day at work to an empty house. And I know that aside Ryan, no other man would want a barren woman like me.

I paid the driver extra for listening and stepped out of the taxi. A strange unease crept into my chest as I walked toward my apartment, though I couldn’t explain why. I shook it off, probably I was just tired. I hadn’t told Ryan I was coming home early. He would probably be on the couch, playing games on his phone like always. And I know he will be very happy to see me.

That thought warmed me as I quietly unlocked the door and stepped inside.

But what I saw made my eyes go wide. Ryan was sitting on the couch naked and a woman sat on him. She moved her body up and down on him. Her bra was on the floor. She was moaning so loudly as she grabbed one of her breasts and put it in Ryan’s mouth.

My bag slipped from my fingers and hit the floor. The sound made her look up, our eyes met and she smiled.

"Hello, bestie. I did not know you would be home so soon."

Ryan froze. His face drained of color as he scrambled beneath her, trying to push her off.

But she didn’t move. Instead, she pressed him down harder on the sofa, her lips curling into something cruel.

"Don’t stop now," she said lightly, glancing at me. "Your wife is home. Let her watch."

I couldn’t move, my body went cold, my mind refusing to process what my eyes were seeing. My best friend and my husband!