Ice Cream and Tears

Casey sat down on the ground next to me. She didn’t say anything. She just looked at me knowingly. Knowing my heart had been broken, knowing I wanted to get up and run from that conversation, knowing I would not be over him any time soon.

“James, you wanna get ice cream and watch Mean Girls tonight?” she asked. “We can talk about how Cyman still never asked me to homecoming,” she joked, rolling her eyes.

She nudged me with her elbow. I looked at her, but she knew I wasn’t okay. I gave her a little smile after the Cyman comment, but it was all I could muster in that moment.

I guess I still don’t understand why he didn’t ask her either. He doesn’t have a date or anything and he is definitely riding in the limo with us. It made entirely no sense. They talk daily at school and she said he even sits by her in art class. Boys are the enigma of the world I swear.

Baylen picked us up from float construction when it was over. He had Keegan in the car. I pulled my Saints hoodie on, over my green tank top and put up the hood. I truly didn’t feel like talking to Keegan. I had not really spoken to him since the incident at his party. Everything feels so awkward now. He sensed it. He knew I was being distant. I hadn’t texted him any funny videos to watch or weird memes. It was just different now. We used to be friends. Almost as close as he and Baylen. I have known Keegan since I was 5 years old. We grew up together. I trusted him with my life…with my heart. And he broke it. Something so fragile and so pure. He broke it. I don’t know how we get that back. Where do we go from here?

Casey talked the entire ride about her Cyman situation. The boys didn’t seem all that interested, but they listened and gave her advice.

“Oh my gawd Keegan, these girls asked about you today. They were talking about how hot you are and blah, blah, blah…but Brees let them know you have an amazing girlfriend that you are crazy about,” Casey said, winking at me.

I smiled a bit and looked down at my lap. I knew he would be looking at me in the mirror.

“You did Brees? Thanks Squirt. I am sure Jada would appreciate that. I really want you guys to all be good friends,” he said, scrolling on his phone.

“Oh me too,” I said, “I think she is amazing and can’t wait to hang with her this weekend. It’s like the sister I never had, since you are like my brother,” I said half-heartedly.

I caught his eyes in the mirror. He squinted at me and shook his head as if to say, we are so much more than that. But he didn’t say those words to me and I knew he never would. He agreed with me and rested his head against the window.

We dropped Keegan off and Casey came over to watch a movie until 9:00 pm. My mom won’t let us have company passed that time on a school night, so I knew we had to get started right away. I popped some popcorn and grabbed the pint of Chubby Hubby out of the freezer, along with two spoons. I started the movie and jumped into my cuddle chair next to Casey.