FAZER LOGIN“You are such a beautiful girl, Brees. But the athleticism is what makes you so irresistible,” he said, stroking my cheek lightly with the back of his hand.
He moved my hair behind my ears and pulled my chin up. This was it! Jeff was going to kiss me! As he leaned in, I did as well. He smelled so good and his breath was soft against my lips. As he ran his hand up my back gently, we were interrupted by yelling. I looked over by the driveway and it was Mr. Patts and my mom. I pulled away from Jeff instantly and ran over to my mom. “Drop the gift and leave Missy,” Mr. Patts said. “I am Jared. Just wanted to hand it directly to Keegan and he came over to say hello. You really have to settle down. I am not here to cause trouble,” she said. “Dad please. I asked her to stay for a second. Missy loves me like I’m one of her own. This is getting out of hand,” Keegan said. His face looked so distraught. I know he hated this feud more than anyone because of how much he loved them all. “I am giving you five minutes Missy and then I’m escorting you off of the premises myself,” Mr. Patts yelled, walking away muttering. Everyone was looking at my mom and at me. I felt like shrinking down super small to escape their glares. My mom shared a few kind words with Keegan and told him to stop by soon for his gift from her. Then my mom hugged Keegan and I and got into the car and left. At this point, I felt so ashamed. I didn’t even know why they hated each other but I knew I never wanted them in the same room again. I walked off quickly and went behind the barn. I just needed a minute to think, to clear my head. All of those upperclassmen saw my mom get screamed at by this tyrant. I could hear Jeff call my name. He was looking for me. Yet another reason why I really liked him. He was always thinking of me. I had hoped our chance hadn't passed, but maybe it did. I stayed behind the barn for about 5 minutes. I needed a moment to let everyone forget about me and carry on with the party. As I was headed back around to the front I looked down at my clear sandals. There was sand all over them from the fire pit area. “I really need to start thinking more before I finalize my outfits,” I thought. Still looking down at the sandy messes that were my feet, when I ran into someone. I was almost knocked over completely, but I was caught by two strong arms around my back and waist. “Brees?” I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up and saw his face. “Oh my gosh, Keegan. I’m so sorry,” I stuttered nervously. He stood me upright, but didn’t let me go right away. His hands loosened their grip, but he was definitely still holding me. We looked at one another for what seemed like forever. It wasn’t awkward, I didn’t look away from shyness, I just looked at him longingly as if he should be able to read my mind by now. He bit his bottom lip and his eyes softened. “Brees, we were looking for you,” he said, pulling me closer. I didn’t want him to let go. There was something about the way he was holding me that felt different.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







