Mag-log in“Umm, that’s super sweet Kee, but I’ll do pics at my house and you guys can head over there after.
Okay?” she politely declined. “Mom, come on. You and Mrs. Patts really need to squash whatever beef you have and just tough it out for us kids. No way my best friend’s mom should be such a sore topic of conversation,” Baylen said, giving my mom a slight squeeze on her shoulder. “NO BAY, NOW DROP IT!” she screamed, making all of us pause for a second. “Sorry, I don’t mean to yell, but you know Kyren and I do not get along and that’s the end of that. I won’t keep discussing this,” she said, wiping her area and taking her coffee to the front porch swing after hugging Baylen quickly. Mom doesn’t like to yell at us. I really think it hurts her heart when she does. I will never understand why they hate one another so much, and mom won’t talk about it. So, I let her have her moments and don’t pry too much into her past. However, I did ask my dad once and even he didn’t know. He said all he knew was that they graduated and cut ties about a week after that. It all seems so odd. It has to be over a boy right? Mr. Patts went to Louisiana State University with my mom and Mrs. Kyren. Perhaps he was the boy they fought over. He also doesn’t care for my mom. He actually has yelled at her a few times in front of us kids when I was younger. I guess I can’t be too concerned about hypothetical situations when I have a real one on my hands. Do I say yes to Jeff and will I even have fun if we go together? I had to make a decision because school started in three days and he would want to know by then I’m sure. “Case, grab breakfast and head to my room for a debriefing?” I joked. “Already ahead of you,” she said, toting two plates full of food towards my room. When we got into the room, she squealed and made an unearthing sound. She gets way more excited about this stuff than I do, but I’ll try for her. Seeing her little round face light up with happiness was totally worth it. “So, you are saying yes, right? You have to! That way if Cyman asks me we can double date. He texted me this morning to see if I was coming to the river house and I told him yes. I hope he plans to ask me there,” she declared. “Oh my gosh Case, I really want this for you,” I said cupping her face in my hands like we did when we were really little. “I do want to go with Jeff, but now this Keegan stuff is swirling in my head. You know?” “Did he ask you to the dance or send you flowers James?” Casey snapped, “No he didn’t and do you know who did? Motherfucking Jeff Chandler. So that’s who you should be concerned about. Not some possible date that may never happen. Plus Keegan turns 16 next week and he already keeps calling you kid names and treats you like a baby. I misread that situation last night. He obviously loves you, but not in that way. More of like a brother-sister kind of love.” “Sheesh, you changed your tune really quickly! I thought you said he LOVED me, loved me,” I joked. She rolled her eyes and threw a pillow at me. “Seriously though James, call Jeff and give him an answer. Please, please, please,” Casey begged. Her pouty little face worked on me way too often. I really need to try and swerve it when I see it coming. I looked at my phone for several seconds and then I walked over to the mirror to fix my hair and pajamas. I think looking good will help me sound more confident. I picked up my phone and dialed his number from the card that came in the flowers. 388-227-3870… Oh my goodness, it’s ringing. It’s actually ringing. I’m doing this. The ringing stopped. I heard his voice. It sounded so different today. My stomach instantly got butterflies and I knew this was the right decision. “Hello…” Jeff answered. “Hey, hi, umm…wassup. So, it’s Brees. I got the flowers you sent me and they are beautiful. It was really nice of you to check on me,” I stuttered. “Of course. The prettiest girl in Huffington High gets hurt and couldn’t enjoy the beach. I felt so bad. Did you umm, read the card by chance?” he asked coyly. “Yes I did and…” I hesitated. We both sat quietly for what seemed like forever. Speak Brees! What are you doing? I was literally frozen. I couldn’t even utter one word. The word that my heart was feeling excited for at the moment. Casey kicked my leg and mouthed the words, “Homecoming…yes.” “I’m sorry…umm lost my train of thought. I would love to go to the dance with you. I think it would be super fun,” I finally managed to say. “Awesome! I am so happy that you said yes. Some of us are getting a limo if you and your friends want to come, you are all invited,” he finished.Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada. Coal. He can get her coal. That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…Mine.Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words. Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it. “You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.I definitely was in my Keegan stupor. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head. Tan.Muscles.White teeth.Gorgeous.These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds. “Hey. Squ
The lake had been Casey’s idea.Which, honestly, should have been my first warning.Whenever Casey said, “I have an idea,” it usually meant there was about a fifty-percent chance it would be fun and a fifty-percent chance someone would end up yelling.By ten in the morning, half our friend group had taken over the shoreline.Music was blasting from a speaker sitting on top of a cooler. Someone had brought a volleyball net. Towels were scattered everywhere, bags of chips were being passed around, and Baylen and Keegan were arguing over who had forgotten the sunscreen.I stood at the edge of the water with my sunglasses pushed onto my head, watching them wrestle over a football.“You two are literally children!” I yelled.Keegan looked over his shoulder.The second he saw me, his entire face changed.There it was.That smile.The one that still made my stomach flip even though I was finally allowed to admit that I liked him.“There she is,” he called.I tried not to smile.I failed.Kee
“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded. His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear. “Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink. I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed. “Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love.
The next few weeks, after I left for camp, were filled with softball and FaceTime calls to Keegan. When I went back to my dorm for the night, I would shower the dirt from the ball field off of my body and climb into my giant LSU shirt and sweatpants and cuddle up in my bed. Keegan usually called me around 8:30 pm after football practice. He was always so eager to chat and shower me with kind words. “I miss you so much. I imagine you here every day in my arms,” he would say.We hadn’t seen each other in person since I left for camp and that kiss we had was our last. We also hadn’t talked about the level of our feelings. I knew I loved him, but I wasn’t sure if he was there yet. Being able to see his face and hear his voice every night made this distance so much more bearable. When I return home we will spend every moment together that we can. We were smitten with one another. Again, we just hadn’t said it. Those three words, eight letters. I keep trying to say it when we get off of t
“I asked him not to tell and he was also embarrassed about taking money from my mom. But it has helped his family a lot and he isn’t working as much,” she noted.Again, something I didn’t know. Jada was more his girlfriend, pretending, than I ever was.“Jada, I appreciate you for coming by, but I do really need to get going,” I said, giving her a side hug. “It was kind of you to do this for me and for Keegan,” I finished, heaving a giant duffel bag into the hallway.“No problem. I hope you have the best time at your training camp. Get lots of goals and stuff. Or whatever they do in softball,” she joked.As she said goodbye I thought about what she had said. I wished Keegan had trusted me enough to know I would understand. We obviously didn’t have the relationship that he and Jada had. I went outside to place my remaining bags on the curb. Everyone was already there to see me off: My dad, Alison, Casey, Cyman, Quinn, Ms. Kyren and the twins. I didn't see Keegan. I gave out hugs and ki
The day finally came for me to say goodbye to my family and friends for three weeks. I was really going to miss their faces every day. I had five suitcases packed, a duffel bag, my backpack and my softball bat bag. The bus would be here to grab me in an hour. Baylen said they were not going to let me take all of these bags, but mom said she would drop off whatever I couldn’t bring on the bus. They rented us a charter bus. I packed my headphones and planned to watch a movie on the way. It was less than a two hour drive but we had four more girls to grab from the airport. Baylen was helping me carry my bags when he stopped in my doorway. He turned and his face grew somber. “Brees, I have to tell you something. I’m not supposed to say a word, but I saw how heartbroken you were the other night and I can’t keep watching my baby sis be sad,” he said. I was unsure of how my demeanor should be at the moment. I felt a wave of sickness come over me. I knew what he was going to say and it w







