Chapter 43

(Keegan’s point of view)

Going home for Christmas for an entire month was going to be exciting. My roommates Glenn and Cade had already left for the break and I was just waiting on my mom to bring me home. I could not wait to see family, and friends, but most of all I couldn’t wait to see Brees.

I knew that we were just friends, but I find myself eager to get home from football workouts just to call her. I linger in her laugh and find the cute nuances of what could have been. My eyes light up when her face appears on my phone. Her cute little freckles sprinkle her nose and cheeks like cinnamon on a latte. The way her head sits slightly tilted while she lays on her bed painting her nails while we talk. It has been like old times. The love we had wasn’t completely lost.

I wanted to make things right, but I also knew she was seeing that Jeff kid again. It was my own doing. Had I not let the guys get into my head about her being like a sister to me, I would still be able to call her mine. They all had jabs when they found out our moms were dating. I should have been stronger. I should have defended our love and that of our moms, but that’s not what 17 year old boys do. We succumb to our own insecurities and end up losing everything. Seeing her kiss Jagger did piss me off, but what right did I have? I couldn’t tell her she wasn’t allowed to see other people when I had completely turned my back on her. I wasn’t going to let this trip go in vain. I was determined to win her back.

I had to talk to Isadora first however. I don’t even know why I started seeing her. Hale said she was interested and so I let him give her my number and I guess I sort of thought it would get Brees’ attention. However, it backfired. Brees is so kind to her. That’s just who she is. One of the many reasons I was so in love with her. We had to be kidding ourselves to think we could just be friends.

My first week back home was kind of boring. Baylen didn’t get back from Arizona until four days after I was already in Kentwood. Izzy wanted to hang out, but I truly didn’t want to. We had only really hung out twice. She was nice, but she wasn’t for me. I had to end things before she became more invested than she should.

When Baylen came home, I could finally get out of the house. My sisters were in 6th grade, so they were super annoying right now. Bay said we could play video games at his house and I was all in.

At first, I wasn’t sure if Brees would be there and if she was, I didn’t know if she would have Jeff over. It would really bother me if she did. I knew I would have to be nice to him and that burned me up.

“Heads up!” Baylen said, tossing a water my way.

“Thanks dude. I think I have been dehydrating myself since I’ve been home,” I joked.

“I’m sure those make out sessions with Izzy don’t help. Finally I can discuss your hook-ups again,” he teased.

I shrugged. I knew I hadn’t even had one make out session with her, but everyone thought she was such a smoke show that I just let them think I had. I mean we have kissed, but nothing more.

“Speaking of, are you and Quinn gonna hang this week?” I asked.

“For sure. I haven’t had it in a minute, so yeah, we are gonna hang,” he said, with air quotes.

I shook my head. Baylen and Quinn had such an unexpected kind of love. They didn’t intend for their relationship to go passed Baylen’s senior year and now here they are going on two years. I wish I could talk to him about Brees. I needed someone to know that my heart still aches for her. But that’s not a subject Bay and I discuss. He knows that I loved her at a point in my life and he accepted it. But he didn’t hide the fact that he was relieved our time together had ended.

“Bro, Quinnie is stopping by super quickly on her way to her grandma’s house. She has something for Missy,” Bay said, slapping my shoulder and grabbing his jacket.

As he ran off to meet her in the driveway, I had a feeling his “quick,” would turn into 15-20 minutes of him and her going at it in her front seat. I couldn’t be mad at that. It was real love and I wanted that. As I daydreamed for a bit, I suddenly felt someone brush the side of my cheek.