I could feel my face heating up in embarassment. I can't even look at him! I tried to look at everything else but him. I probably look like a fool now.
"I'm sorry," I heard him say. He shouldn't be apologizing now because it's no one's fault. But gosh, I can't grasp the thought of it!"I'm sorry too," I said. I looked at him briefly and quickly looked away. This is just so embarassing!"Should we go back inside?" He asked and I nodded so eagerly without looking at him. I can't look at him just yet because it will only remind me of what just happened.We went back to the Karaoke room and it was the most awkward walk of my life! Good thing we won't be seeing each other in school after this. We won't, right? The University's quite huge and I don't usually go to their building. And I will just make an effort to avoid every person wearing an all-white uniform.Yes, I can do that!When we got back to our rented room, it wasn't as messy as earlier. Daisy was already asleep. And guess what, she's sleeping on Jed's shoulder! I knew she has a hidden agenda!I suggested we just go home because it's pretty clear that these girls are wasted and they agreed. I had to retrieve the rest of my stuff from Daisy's car after getting the keys from her and gave it to Jed. Daisy was already drunk so we decided to just take a cab. The guys will take care of Daisy's car.I only got to breathe freely when we were finally inside the taxi. Even breathing with Zandrey around is proving to be difficult.Ugh. I knew this night will do me no good.-Daisy was still soundlessly sleeping on my bed. I decided to just let her spend the night here in my condo because she was too drunk to go home. I can't also let her be alone especially when she's this wasted.I woke up earlier than her so here I am, standing in front of her, waiting for her to wake up. I want my face to be the first thing she'll see once she wakes up."Oh. Good morning, Ai," she greeted smilingly upon seeing my face. I arched a brow at her. "Did you not sleep well? Why do you look like you're in a bad mood?""Last night will definitely be the last time you will ever get to ask me a favor like that," I muttered. She sat up and looked at me while furrowing."You didn't enjoy it?" She asked. She doesn't know what happened to Zandrey and me last night."NO!"I saw the surprise on her face upon hearing my reply. Well, it was probably because of my tone. But she recovered quickly and even looked at me weirdly."You're weird," she mumbled. "I thought you enjoyed Zandrey's company last night.""No, I didn't!""Are you mad?"No, I'm not mad," I said, this time, in a soft voice."My God, Ai, you're making my head ache more," she mumbled as she stood up. She went out of my room and went straight to the kitchen and I followed."I will never join you next time!""Okay!""'Don't force me next time.""I promise I won't."Silence enveloped us. No, we're not fighting. We really talk like this most of the time."What's with your face?" Daisy asked laughingly. She was making a coffee for herself while I was leaning on the kitchen counter, watching her."Nothing," I muttered dismissively.I know it already happened and I can't do anything to erase it. And that really sucks! Because no matter how much I try to erase it from my mind, I couldn't.I'm really blaming Daisy for this!I just occupied a seat at the dining and took a bread. Maybe I just need to eat."Where's my phone?" Daisy asked."I don't know.""Ai," she said with a pout. "I'll just go find it. I'm pretty sure Jed texted me," she said while a big smile was pasted on her face. She ran to my room and I just let her. She really gets excited whenever it comes to her crush. I just always end up shaking my head, because even if she's like that, I like seeing her happy.I chose to just enjoy my bread and tried to forget about Zandrey for once. Although, a huge part of my brain really slips and thinks about him and what happened last night.I slapped the side of my head when that thought came to my mind. Maybe I damaged my head or something. But why am I so affected? It's not like we kissed for real. It was just a quick peck on my side lips and it wasn't intentional. Ugh!Suddenly I heard Daisy screamed. I was about to stand up and go to her but it was quickly followed with "Oh my God! He texted me! He texted me!" I could even imagine her jumping in joy.I rolled my eyes, but there was a slight smile on my face.-The day went... normal. Well, I tried my best for it to be normal.Daisy spent more hours in my condo but she had to go home because she's meeting Jed later. She will fix herself to look good for him, as she said. It was Jed who took care of her car last night. They will meet later to bring her car.So I was left peacefully alone in my crib again. I took out all my materials and decided to do some plates. I have a lot of hobbies but I'm an Architect student and I don't get to spend my time on my hobbies anymore. Because of plates. Freaking plates.My brows were knitted together when I heard my phone beeped. It's just probably Daisy. So I didn't pay attention.But then a few minutes later, it beeped again. It was annoying. So I just picked up my phone to check who was texting me.I furrowed again when I saw it was from an unregistered number. I opened it and suddenly, I felt my heartbeat doubled its pace.The text says:Hi, Aira! This is Zandrey. I was just wodering if you're free today?Another text came in:Or tomorrow? Whatever works for you.And then another one:I just want to ask if I can have my ID back? I can't enter the school premises without it.😅Ugh that ID! I should've given it to him when I got my things from Daisy's car last night so I wouldn't have to meet him! But at that moment, I couldn't think about it because I was prioritizing the thought of going home.Now I have to reply. And meet him to give his ID. Ugh.I typed:Hi, Zandrey. Is it okay if I give it to you on Monday? Before class. What time is your first class? Because I'm really busy.And it's just a matter of seconds or perhaps a minute when I received a reply from him.He replied:Sure. My first class will be at 9 am. Is it okay if we meet at 8:30?I replied:Yeah. I guess that will be fine. Let's meet at Gate 1.He replied:Okay. Great! See you, then.☺And finally, I replied:Yup. See you.Okay. That will be just once and this will be the last. After it, I don't have to see him anymore. Sure, our worlds are getting smaller but I will make sure to hide from him and avoid him.-The most dreaded Monday came. While on the way to school, I keep on fidgeting. I tried to think of ways or excuse just to not see him, but nothing came to mind.I'm good at this! Why is it that my mind becomes blank when it comes to him?I already got to school before 8:30. I still have a few minutes to calm my nerves or better yet, think of an excuse.I looked around and saw the guard house. I smirked upon finally being able to think of something.Zandrey's still not here so I approached the guard and asked if I could leave the ID, and that someone will be picking it up in a while. Good thing, the security guard was very understanding.I texted him and told him I have an emergency meeting with my groupmates so I left his ID there. I smiled widely when I finally got passed the gate.See? I'm good at this!I then went to my classroom for my 9 am class. It was a minor subject. It was the kind of minor subject that feels like a major subject, so one has to attend because once you fail to attend even just one meeting, you will miss a lot. I don't want to self-study for this subject because I already have a lot of major subjects that I need to self-study for. I also have a lot of plates to do.After that class came another class and then a vacant time. I have two hours of vacant until my next subject which means more time to spend sa Library.The journey to the Library was never easy. I feel so paranoid whenever I am about to meet someone in an all-white uniform. Gosh, why are there so many medical students here?!A heart attack was threatening to happen whenever I see someone in white. God, this is not good for my anxiety!I managed to get inside the Library without bumping into him so I kind of felt at peace. I sat at the farthest corner, my back facing everyone else. I won't be able to concentrate if I keep seeing people in white.When lunch time came, Daisy texted me and invited me for lunch. I was going to accept it but then she mentioned Jed and thought they might be with Zandrey so I declined. I'll just let them have this time for themselves.The plan was to eat lunch quickly and go back to the Library because I left my stuff on the table I occupied.I was still being so careful. Too careful to the point that I feel like a weirdo. I keep on looking around and whenever I'm about to meet someone in white, I quickly distance myself. Seriously, this is making me look like crazy. I just really don't want to see him just yet. What happened last night was still carved in my head.My eyes grew wide when I saw him near the student center. He was approximately 6 meters away from me and I'm not sure if he saw me or not because I quickly hid myself behind the huge trunk of a tree. I really wish he has not seen me!The students who pass by me would always look my way. I wanted to scratch their eyes out because Zandrey might see me! I hope they realize I am hiding for a reason. Now I am not safe because of their stares!I waited for a few minutes before checking if Zandrey's still there. And a sigh of relief instantly comes out of my mouth. I noticed he was no longer there.Phew!"Who are you hiding from?"But my eyes grew wide and my heart started beating crazily inside my chest when I heard his voice from behind me.Fuck.Me.Zandrey's words made me awake for hours at night. It bothered me for the past few days. I couldn't even look at him when he's around. Seeing him just reminds me of all the words he murmured that damn night. He was well aware that I'm not allowed to engage on any sexual stuff. Yet he teased me and made me restless for nights. I wanted to do the same thing to him, but I didn't have the chance. I was busy with the kids and there's no way I can do that. "What's with your face?" Daisy asked. She's here at home to visit me and the baby. Everybody's at work since it's a weekday. She said she's not busy so I just let her.She's carrying Andrew right now and she really loves holding the baby. I feel like she doesn't want to be away from him. She keeps on smelling his head- which really smells so good. She wouldn't want to let him go even when he's already sleeping. I wonder if she's not getting tired from holding him. The baby's growing so fast and he's heavier now, but she doesn't seem to
"Let me do it," Zandrey whispered when we heard Baby Andrew crying. I'm not sure what the time is right now. I just know that the sun is still not up. Thankfully, it's the start of Zandrey's day off that's why he's here. He just got home after a long duty at the hospital a few hours ago. But even if he's tired from work, he still insisted on taking care of the baby. But i couldn't just let him do all the work when he's exhausted from work. "No, let me," I insisted. He already stood up, but I followed. "You're exhausted. Go back to bed and sleep," I commanded. I'm not even sure if I sound firm enough for him to follow. There are quite a lot of people who gets intimidated when I talk. But I guess Zandrey is the exception. I remember back in college, when we first met, we got so well already. On normal situations, that would not happen because I'm not even friendly and I easily feel discomfort when I'm with people I'm not close with. That's why I don't have that much friends. Weird
Good thing I gave birth naturally, so we only stayed in the hospital for a few days. The recovery was still quite hard, but I was glad we're finally home. Zandrey wanted to hire additional help to assist me in taking care of Baby Andrew, but I insisted on not doing that for now. I'm on maternity leave and Mom Emily's here to help so I know I can handle it. Maybe when I go back to work, that's when we'll hire another help. Because I'm sure it will be quite handful to juggle work and take care of kids at the same time. But I still want to be as hands on as possible. I dom't have to think about it for now. I still have months to think about that. We haven't yet discuss the topic that we left off last time. Maybe he was waiting for me to open the topic first, since I was the one who asked for more time. It has been on my head for days. The question just kept on coming back. "Are you okay?" Mommy Emily asked. Andrew just fell asleep and I was supposed to sleep as well but I could
"Can we please... make this work?" It kept on rewinding on my head. Dad, Mom, and Daisy are still around but it was like it's just us here. It was like we were oblivious with our surroundings. I know this time will come- that we need to talk about us. We have 3 kids, and we have to be firm on where this is really heading us. In my mind, I was okay with just being co-parents. We were working it out. I believe we have been great parents the past months. But maybe we cannot just stay like this forever. Because there are kids involved. But I don't think I was ready for any talk about this, or was I? Maybd I was running away from that fact. Maybe I'm a coward. Maybe I don't have the bones to face all of these because I was scared of where this would lead us. But because of the never ending questions, I can't help but also wonder. Can we really make this work? I looked around and it seemed like all the people inside have sensed where our talk is going. "Can we take Baby
The pain was doubling each time. I could feel beads of sweat forming on my neck and forehead. I have inhaled-exhaled hundreds of times, but the pain was still there. I expected the extent of the pain because I've done this before. But god, experiencing it again for the second time does not make you used to the pain.Everything fucking hurts.Being in labor hurts so much. I was trying my best not to push here, even if I wanted to. I can feel the baby's already crowning. I don't want to give birth to my child here. Not when this car is not sanitized or whatever. But it really hurts, and Daisy must know because of the way I'm holding her hand- like it's my source of strength. I know she's hurting too but she's not saying anything. This is the only way I get to distract myself from the pain."I can't do it anymore," I cried. I actually can, but words are rumbling on my head. I don't know what to think or say anymore. The pain was taking over me entirely."We're almost there, Ai," Daisy mu
I've been feeling so heavy lately. I could feel how close the baby's arrival is. With that, I am not allowed to be left alone. Everybody is taking turns to stay with me. Even Daisy would sometimes volunteer to accompany me, especially on nights when Zandrey is at work. All our stuff are also already packed and ready. We are just waiting for it to happen, and we'll be good to go. It's still past noon, and Daisy is currently with me because everyone is at work. Mommy Emily volunteered as well to be with me but she won't be here until tomorrow. Zandrey was supposed to be here, but he was needed at the hospital because his colleague was involved in an accident and can't go to work, so he covered for him. "Everything should start from small, right?" Daisy murmured. We're talkig about her plans of establishing her own company. She's been researching a lot these days and I could see the skeleton of her plans and it's a really good progress. I'm so proud of her. "Of course," I replie