Chapter 1

Looking in the mirror to apply my brown lipliner, my phone dings. I continued applying as it dinged three more times. This must be urgent. No one texts me repeatedly like this anymore. I grabbed my phone and slid up the screen. My screensaver was a photo of myself and Wren. Wren is my goddaughter, and also Casey’s now three year old. I went to Japan to see them this summer when my travel league played overseas. I hadn’t seen Case in forever. I FaceTime with them both but it isn’t the same.

I saw that the texts had come from Baylen. One looked like an invitation followed by two blue text messages. I clicked the link to the invitation and flowers spilled all over my screen along with sparkles.

It read, “Baylen Hamlin and Quinn O’Neil request the honor of you standing up in their wedding as their Maid Of Honor.”

This was followed by two texts, one with more details and one begging me to say yes. I couldn’t believe Bay asked her to marry him over Christmas break and I was there for it. It made me sad to not be there now to hear him ask this in person, but I also knew that being at the University Of Tennessee made me so far away from everyone. Baylen had just graduated and was working back home in Louisiana as our dad’s assistant. He would be working on his masters in accounting while working with dad.

Suddenly my phone began to ring. It was Baylen. I answered it and saw his face and Quinn sitting on his lap. They were both smiling and laughing. You could see how much they were in love. I hadn’t felt that for anyone since…

“Sooo, is it a resounding yes? Will you be my maid of honor Squirt?” Quinn asked, taking the phone from Baylen.

I smiled at her and shook my head.

“Of course I will Quinnie,” I responded.

“This makes me so happy! Now to get our best man to agree and then we can start having you two help us plan this thing!” Baylen said.

Best man? I was afraid to even ask, but I already knew the answer to that question. Keegan Patts was Baylen’s best friend. There was no way he was asking anyone else. I knew Keegan had the NFL combine coming up, so he was busy, but there was no doubt that is exactly who they asked.

As I finished my conversation with Quinn and Bay, a part of me wondered what Keegan had been up to the last three and a half years. The part of me that had cut him off. The part of me that didn’t love him anymore. I hadn’t spoken to him since I ended things my senior year of high school. I moved to Tennessee right away once I graduated and I refused to be in the same space as him during holidays with our moms. I even blocked him on every social media platform and my phone. I truly just hated him so heavily. The way he treated me back then was awful. I hadn’t even seen pictures of him besides when they showed LSU against Tennessee on tv. I didn’t even go to the games when he was at my school playing against our football team. I did hear from Baylen that since Keegan transferred to special teams, he has garnered interest from NFL scouts. Other than that, Bay knows not to mention him around me. How would I get through a wedding with him this spring?

Just then a knock came on my door and snatched me out of the Keegan trance that I was in. I opened the door to see my handsome boyfriend, Tate, standing there with bags of food. I ushered him in quickly.

“Oh my gosh, I’m starving babe. This is exactly what I needed,” I said, taking a bag from him and kissing him gently on his cheek.

As I ate my acai bowl, I told him all about my phone call with my brother and Quinn. We laughed and made jokes about my potential gown. I snuggled into his arm and he kissed the top of my head.

“So is Keegan going to be there?” he asked in a quiet voice.

I stopped eating my acai and I looked up at him. I knew that Keegan was a sore subject for him. He had found a letter that Keegan had written to me a few weeks after we broke up. The letter was very passionate and he declared his love for me. He even called me the love of his life. Even though I reassured him that nothing was going on with myself and Keegan, he still got very defensive and somewhat sad if his name were mentioned.

“He will be the best man,” I set my bowl down and grabbed his face with two hands, “but I love you and that’s all that matters.”

I wanted him to believe it so badly. I straddled him and started to kiss him. He kissed me back, but stopped me after a few seconds.

“Brees, I’m being serious right now. I know you two have a long history and you were in love. Do I have anything to worry about with this guy? Mr. Football? I see the chatter about him online and on ESPN. The guy is dynamic. All I have going for me is this giant brain of mine. I can’t compete with that,” he said with sadness in his beautiful green eyes.

“Oh baby. Please don’t feel that way. It has been over for three years with Kee and I. He has his groupie girls and I have the smartest guy in the world. You have shown me a love that I never knew I needed and now it’s all that I want. All I want is you Tate. My sexy scientist,” I joked.

He smiled and nodded. I could see his shoulders relax. He took a drink of his smoothie and changed the subject. I had a gnawing feeling in my stomach. Something about discussing Keegan was making me have this weird feeling and I needed it to go away.

I had three months before the wedding and I needed to get my mind right. I couldn’t be awkward when I saw him. It had to be chill. I knew Tate would be there, but I also didn’t need him to see me nervous around Keegan. Keegan Patts was not about to ruin a relationship he wasn’t even aware that I had. I needed to make sure Casey would be there.

As I watched Tate eat his sub, I kept thinking about Keegan. What was he eating right now? Did he ever think about what I was up to? Also, why did I care? The moment Keegan’s name slipped out of my mouth, a windfall of memories came with it. The way he used to get me food and steal bites of my acai bowl when he claimed he didn’t like them. Or how he would brush his hair forward when he was upset. How he shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie when he was nervous around me.

Stop.

What am I doing? I had to get it together. Keegan was my past and Tate is my future. There was no way I could allow Keegan Patts to get back into my heart.