5. I Can't Go Back

Al

My heart was hurting and it was showing to a point that Emon could see it and he was hurting too and I hated the fact that I couldn't do anything about it.

Emon had been nothing but good to me and seeing him hurt because I couldn't tell him the truth was as hard for me as it was to forget Ed. But I had to.

“Love, let's play pool today. Remember the Macau Twins, they think they can beat us." 

“Babes, how about flying to California this weekend for a fishing trip?" 

“Do you feel like tacos? We can fly to New Mexico if you want to." 

"How about we hit Vegas this weekend and return on Sunday afternoon?”

That was Emon trying to cheer me up but I just wanted to sleep and forget everything. No. Maybe not forget but pretend that I wasn't hurting and that I was still in that bubble with Emon where I pretended that all was well.

I had denied him so many times that I was feeling like an arse.

So, today, I try to wake up and smile at him and in fact, I prepare lunch.

I don't know where Emon is and I hope that what I have looked up on YouTube is edible because I have followed all the steps meticulously.

As I am plating the food, the door opens and he walks in and he smiles so brightly when he sees me that he infects me and I smile back.

“Hey? You are up. How are you?" He asks me and pecks me on my temple and I hold his neck and he looks at me.

“Thank you," I say and connect our lips.

As usual, sparks fly between us and we break apart gasping for air.

"What was that for?” He asks with a smile.

"Can't I kiss you?" I ask with a smile and he pecks me again.

“You can kiss me any time, love," he says and sits next to me on the dining table that is too big for us.

The baked potatoes, beef stew and vegetable salad that I had made isn't as bad as I thought and Emon is all smiles as he eats.

“Look what I got," he says as he produces two tickets from his pocket.

“A poetry contest?” I ask in disbelief.

He knows I love poetry, another reason why I wonder how I found myself in an engineering class and not literature, and I had performed for him some spoken word pieces here and there and he had loved them.

“Yeah. They sent me an invitation saying that we are the hottest couple as of now in Carson City and I had also entered one of your pieces," he says with a wink and I look at him in bewilderment.

I want to get angry at him but he's been so nice to me and he's such an adorable giant and …

“Okay. When is it?" I ask.

“Tomorrow evening," he says.

By the next evening, I find myself seated on a bar stool and he's ordering a drink for me.

This is where the event will be held and it's already full to the brim and if he hadn't booked a table for us, we wouldn't have anywhere to sit.

He's ordering a cocktail for me and I don't care whatever he asks for because I know that I can't get drunk.

He hands me a drink and asks me to sit at our table as he waits for his.

I sit at the table and sip on my drink and then after the third sip, I feel my throat ache. I sniff the drink and that's when it hits me. The cocktail has pineapples in it and I am allergic to them. 

I have never told Emon about it because the need has never arisen.

I panic and look towards the counter and he's still busy and I didn't bring any meds and so, I decide to walk out and see if there is any chemist nearby so that I can get anti-allergy meds.

I can barely stand straight and I feel my throat constrict by the second.

When I get to the door, I lose my footing and fall to my knees and then I feel strong arms lift me effortlessly and for a moment, I think it's Emon but no. The hands aren't his.

I don't care though.

He fumbles with a bottle and he pops two tabs in my mouth and I swallow even without water and I pant and heave and when I come to, I am in Ed's arms.

“Who gave you pineapples? Doesn't he know that you are allergic to them?” He asks and he sounds angry.

"It's… it…" I try but I can't speak yet.

“Al, where did you go? I've been looking for you," Emon comes running and I see the worry in his face.

That's when I realise the awkward posture I am in, in Ed's arms.

“Did you give him pineapples? Don't you know that they can kill him?" Ed shouts at Emon and I hate it.

"Love?” Emon calls and that one word carries a lot of questions.

"He… he doesn't know," I defend him and Ed's hold on me tightens.

“I will take you home," he says and I flinch.

What is he trying to achieve? Why is he here?

“No need," I say and leave his arms and Emon catches me and lifts me.

“Al…” Ed calls and I ignore him and look at Emon.

"We have a poem to present, don't we?" I ask and smile at him.

He's carrying me bride style but I don't care.

“Are you sure you are up to it?" He asks me and I smile.

"I am. It's just an allergic reaction and I heal fast,” I tell him and he nods and walks with me inside the bar and we both ignore Ed.

It has taken me a very long time to build these walls and I won't let Ed make them crumble.

I would rather learn how to love Emon than go back there.

I can't.