Chapter 1. Coming Out

How do you define love? A matter that speaks in general a love to yourself, a love of a friend, a love of a family and a love of a lover all that includes trust, understanding and acceptance. But what if the love that you wanted the most, an understanding and acceptance that you need most can’t be given to you by your family. What will be your resolve, especially when it’s all about yourself?

In a white sand beach I slowly walk on the shore seeing a wonderful and mesmerizing beauty of nature. It calms my mind and brings peace to my heart. I’m Roxy Santillian, Twenty five years old. A successful business woman. I am here now by myself in this beautiful place to think of everything that happened to me and to my family. I fought with my mother because she didn’t accept me for who I am being a lesbian liking the same genders as me. She strongly disagreed about it and she started to say hurtful words to me that really broke my heart.

Gathering all my courage one day I confess to my mom, “Mom, I'm a lesbian I like girls.”

 I’m so nervous my sweat running down my skin and I begin to tremble waiting for her reply. Then suddenly my mom slapped me real hard.

“What did you say? Are you out of your mind Roxy!” Mom shouted at me.

“Mo-m, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to disappoint you and my father. I know that you have so many good plans for me, you even urged me to have an arranged marriage to the son of our business partner but.. I can’t do that Mom, I’m sorry.”

My tears are racing to fall from my eyes as I speak out my thoughts but my mother is getting angrier at me, “Do you want to disgrace our family specially your parents? Your dad is a well known businessman. He’s always in front of news headlines, interviews and more. What if the media will know about this huh? What are they gonna say about us to our family? That my decent, refined and successful business woman daughter is a disgrace to our family that loves the same gender! Do you want our family to be a laughing stock of the whole business world!

“Mom, please understand me! Ever Since I was young I do all the things that you tell me. I obey you without saying anything even if it is against my will. I still followed all the things that you want to me but this time I will stand for myself and I will be true to myself. This is me Mom, and no matter what you say or do you can’t change me you can’t change the fact that you have a lesbian daughter.

“I won’t accept this Roxy! You will agree to get married as soon as possible or I will disown you!”

My mom left angrily. I cry out loud as soon as she walks out of my room. I’m envious to some of my friends that are also in the same situation as me. Their family accepted them wholeheartedly for who they are no matter what their sexuality is. How I wish I had the same parents like them.

I know that my mom already told my dad about my confession. For sure dad is furious right now even though I’m his favorite but I’m not sure if he will accept the truth about me. During dinner time my dad called me to go down in the dining area and eat with him. We usually eat separately because of our work schedule.

“Roxy, your mom said about you, is it true tell me?” Dad asked me seriously.

I feel that my throat is getting dry as my dad asks me. I drink a glass of water before answering him, “Yes Daddy, it’s true I’m sorry.”

“Since when have you realized that sweetie?”

I raised my head and looked at my dad. He's asking me gently. I see the concern in his eyes. He's not angry at me unlike my mom.

“Daddy…” I began to cry. I can't help it.

My dad stood up and came near me to embrace me and console me like a small little child, “Shh..Don’t cry my precious, don’t cry.”

I hugged him tightly as I cried more in his arms. I felt relieved that he’s there for me no matter what situation I’m in, “Dad, I’m so sorry to disappoint you I’m so sorry Dad.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Sweetie. There is nothing wrong about being you, about being who you truly are. I will still love my precious child no matter what happens. I am your ally. I am by your side.” Dad said it with a smile on his face.

He wiped my tears on his fingertips, “Thank you Dad, I’m so happy knowing that despite being a third gender you still accept me and love me truly. I’m thankful that you are my Dad.”

“About your mom, just give her time to accept the truth. I’m sure she will think about it carefully and slowly accept it.”

“No!”

We were shocked because mom suddenly shouted behind our back, “I won’t accept it! No! I built our family's good reputations to be well known and now you just have to ruin it by your stupid thoughts and decisions! No way! I won’t allow it!”

“Margareth! Don’t be stubborn and just accept the truth! There’s no wrong with Roxy being herself! She’s still our precious daughter and we need to accept her!” Dad shouted loudly at my mom.

“Shut up Bernard! You are nothing without me! You have no right to oppose my decision in everything!”

My dad became silent. He admitted to himself that without my mom's help he can't be where he is right now. My dad was just a simple person, a simple business man when he was young while my mother was born with a golden spoon in her mouth. But my dad does his best to prove his ability and talents in business while they are together while my mom is helping him in the process . That's why he gained all the good results from his hard work and became a very successful person now and a well known businessman.

“Tomorrow you are going to meet the man that you are going to marry. His family is well known like us. He’s your match,” Mom walks away after saying that.

I cried after she left and my dad comforted me and hugged me. I went to bed that night having big thoughts in my mind. It’s time to make a decision for myself for my own good. I packed some of my things and clothes secretly that night. I have to run away. I have to go somewhere I don't want to get married to someone that I don’t even love.