Pregnant Virgin (Darling please don't leave)

"Jesus Christ!" My voice echoed.

"What do you mean I'm pregnant?" I was on my feet immediately, the paper gown crinkling loudly in the silence. "How can I be pregnant? No. That is completely impossible. I cannot be pregnant."

Dr. Jane Carter blinked at me from behind her glasses.

"Miss Hayes—"

"I'm a virgin." I cut her off. My hands were shaking. I pressed them flat against my thighs. "I have never slept with any man. Not once. Not ever in my life. So whatever that test is saying is wrong. Run it again please. There must be a mistake somewhere."

Then she nodded once. "We'll run it again if it'll give you peace of mind." She turned slightly. "Nurse, please."

They took my blood the second time.

I bit my hand while I waited for the result.

I came here three weeks ago for stomach cramps. I remember that day clearly now.

The doctor Mrs Habib had examined me and said that I needed a pelvic exam and pap smear to rule out infection. She noticed how tense I was and suggested a mild sedative to help me relax before examination. I had agreed because I was already anxious. I was sedated and everything became foggy.

I didn't know how much time had passed when I came back to myself. I was in a different room from the one I remembered. A nurse was beside me, pleasant faced, pressing two small prescription bottles into my hands and explaining something about taking them as directed and the importance of rest.

I was still groggy. Still trying to get myself.

She told me the doctor would be with me shortly to explain everything properly. She said it with a reassuring smile and left me sitting on the edge of the bed still blinking the sedation out of my eyes.

I sat there for about ten minutes.

Then my phone rang. Danielle.

I picked it up. "Where are you?"

"The hospital. I told you this morning I had a—"

"I need you home now. Your father's business associates are coming for dinner and this house is a mess because you decided to go running around instead of being here."

"Danielle I'm at the hospital—"

"Sara." Her voice dropped. "Now."

I looked at the two prescription bottles in my hand. The nurse had said they were for my discomfort. Probably something for the cramps. The doctor would just tell me the same thing, rest and take the medication, come back if things got worse. It wasn't like I was dying.

I slid off the bed, got dressed and left.

I didn't wait for the doctor.

The cramps stopped but new symptoms started. Nauseous, waist pain, painful nipples and overly hungry. Then I came back here.

The nurse returned. She handed the slip to Dr. Jane Carter.

Dr. Jane Carter read the slip.

Then she looked up at me.

"Positive," she said. "Again. You're approximately two weeks and five days pregnant, Miss Hayes."

"No." My voice had shrunk to almost nothing. "No, no, no. That's not possible. I just told you.

Do you remember you—"

The door opened. A nurse stepped in slightly out of breath. She stopped when she saw me and her whole face changed. Lit up the way faces do when they recognize someone they were not expecting to see so soon.

"Oh Miss Sara!" She said it warmly, genuinely pleased. "You came back. How are you feeling? Is everything okay? Did the procedure work?"

The room went very quiet.

Dr. Jane Carter stared at her.

"I'm sorry?" Dr. Carter said slowly. "What procedure?"

The nurse's smile faltered. She looked between us, sensing something was wrong but not yet understanding what. "The IVF procedure. Three weeks ago." She looked at me. "You were my patient. I did the embryo transfer. I was actually wondering how things went." She smiled again, uncertain now. "I guess they went well?"

Nobody said anything.

"Nurse." Dr. Carter's voice was very careful. "What is this patient's name?"

"Miss Sarai." She frowned slightly. "It's on the file."

"Her full name."

The nurse looked at me. Then at the file in Dr. Carter's hand. Then back at me. Something shifted in her expression.

"Sarai… Vance?" She said it like a question.

"Hayes," I said. "God My name is Sara Hayes."

The color drained from the nurse's face completely.

Dr. Carter set my file down and asked "Miss Hayes who was the doctor that attended to you when you came."

I replied "Mrs Habib."

She pressed her fingers together on the desk. "There has been a mistake. A very serious mistake."

The room went completely still.

"What kind of mistake?" I asked. Each word slow and separate.

She didn't answer right away. She reached for the phone on her desk instead.

"I'm calling Dr. Habib," she said. "She needs to be in the room for this conversation."

I watched her dial.

I watched her speak.

I don't remember walking out of the hospital.

One moment I was in that room watching Dr. Carter on the phone and the next I was outside, standing on the sidewalk of the hospital.

My mind had gone somewhere else entirely.

I felt the paper in my hand and looked at it.

Estimated gestation: 2 weeks, 5 days.

I pressed my hand over my mouth.

I'm pregnant.

"Jesus Christ." The words came out in a whisper so sharp it was almost a laugh. My eyes were burning. "I'm dead."

I said it out loud to nobody.

"I am completely and utterly dead."

I found the nearest bench and sat down. And I cried. Hard. The kind of crying that has nothing dignified about it.

All I ever wanted was just to save enough to leave my father's house because I was tired of his abandonment, the maltreatment from his mistress and her child. Now I'm pregnant with someone's child and still a virgin.

I laughed loudly and said God had a very strange sense of humor.