Chapter 14

Ryder’s Pov.

 

 “I’ll stay up.”

  

And I sure did, midnight crawled through the sky and I knew I had to wake early for practice but to my better judgment I remained awake.

 

A part of me knew he wouldn’t need my help. Zach was brilliant, always has been. But given the chance that he did, I wanted to be there for him.

 

Plus, I didn’t want to come across as someone who talked out of his ass.

 

I moved through multiple websites to keep busy, still coming back to the app to check his online status, it glitched a couple of times but he always came back on. At first I liked it, it gave me a reassurance that there was a chance he would text me.

 

But then I started thinking a little too much about it.

 

If he was online and not texting me, he had to be texting someone right?

Who?

 

Gigi? They seemed really chummy and she had just slapped someone for him, but it didn’t seem like their friendship was the stay up late texting kind. He barely even texted her when we were together.

 

I didn’t know any other of his friends – not that I should’ve – but when I thought about it, I wasn’t sure he had any apart from her.

 

It’s weird but the thought made me a little sad.

 

Then I remembered that day at the cafeteria. The only time I have ever seen him with another person.

 

Damien.

 

Just thinking about him made my mood drop. I wondered how close they were, did they already have each other’s contacts?

 

Scrolling to the app again, I swiped out of Zach’s DM and scrolled all the way to the end of my chats. I should’ve blocked him by now except I didn’t believe in blocking people.

 

I was a notorious ghoster.

 

Surely enough, Damien’s contact was still there and right next to his cocky face was the active green status. My jaw clenched.

 

Zach had no business hanging out with a guy like him.

 

On second thought, I had no business caring about any of this. I wasn’t even sure if my speculation was true and I was already so worked up.

 

“What’s going on with me lately?” I muttered, finally voicing out the question that’d plagued me for a week now.

 

At first, I had tried to ignore it, the way I anticipated Zach coming over, the slight swell in my chest whenever I open the door to find him there, the heavy silences and lingering gazes.

 

The number of times I’d nearly kissed him.

 

I told myself that I was probably spending too much time around him and it was just curiosity. But how curious can I get to be so bothered about who he’s texting at night.

 

Besides, wouldn’t being curious mean me feeling this way for other guys. I spent most of my time around different types of guys and none of them made me so self-conscious.

 

I knew for a fact that I wasn’t gay, thanks to Damien and his pushy nature.

 

The memory made me grimace for a second.

 

Maybe it’s just my guilt playing tricks with me. I shouldn’t care so much. And I should get some sleep if I don’t want to lag behind during practice tomorrow.

 

Groaning, I slammed my phone on the bed next to me and turned, forcing my eyes shut.

 

Merely minutes later, I was staring at Zach’s DM again.

 

“Maybe I should just text him…” I muttered to myself, my thumbs hovering the keyboard. He might have thought I was bluffing and decided not to text.

 

“I’ll just tell him that I’m going to sleep now,” I said, resolved as I sat up to text. Just then, his chat bubble lit up my screen. My heart beat at the same reate with the ellipses.

 

Zach: Hey. You up?

 

Clearing my throat for some reason, I fought the urge to reply instantly and just stared at the message. Grinning like a fucking fool.

 

Ryder: Yeah. What’s up?

 

Zach: Nun, just checking.

 

Ryder: Sure you don’t need my help but too scared to ask?

 

Zach: Please, I finished the section ages ago.

 

My eyebrows furrowed and I sent the next text before I could stop myself.

 

Ryder: What’ve you been doing online since then?

 

“Shit.”

Ellipses.

 

My lower lip sank between my teeth as I waited.

 

Zach: Don’t tell me you’ve been stalking my online presence.

 

Ryder: No. I was online, I just noticed.

 

He doesn’t respond for a full minute and I find myself caring more than I was proud to admit, finally the bubble appeared again.

 

Zach: oh. Ok.

 

Ryder: Going offline soon?

 

Zach: Nah, I’ll be up for a while. You can go to sleep now.

 

Ryder: Why?

 

Zach: I finished the section already.

 

Ryder: Who said I was up because of you?

 

Zach: Whatever.

 

The text thread ended there, and after trying hard to think of something else to text I had to admit the fact that I had completely botched that. When I checked again, he was still online.

 

Groaning, I flung my phone across the room and threw a pillow over my face.

 

What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I being so dramatic all of a sudden? And why on earth couldn’t I get the picture of him and Damien chatting out of my head?

 

I tried to force myself to sleep but it was pointless, there was no denying the fact that I was deeply perturbed by him, and no amount of denying would save me.

 

Let’s just get this darned project over with and I could forget all about him, by then I should’ve found a way to make up for him hating me.

 

Minutes later, my phone began vibrating on the beanbag. My head snapped quickly. The only person who could possibly be calling me right now was Zach.

 

Quickly, I tossed myself off the bed and hurried to the beanbag, picking up my phone and reading the caller ID.

 

Disappointment washed over me as a scowl curled my lips. I stared at the call for another few seconds.

 

Why on earth would Damien be calling me?