Chapter Three

Natasha POV

“Control it, Natasha. Focus on your senses. Channel the anger, and rage you feel into your transformation,” I could hear Raul’s deep voice direct me.

I was in my subconscious, trying to shift into my wolf form. We have been practicing this for days now. It wasn’t the easiest of tasks, seeing as I could only let out barks, rather than howls, and my claws barely popped.

I tried to follow his instructions, focusing my inner energies as he usually would tell me. Nothing. It wasn’t working.

How do I tell him he’s been wasting his time here?

Better now than later, still.

“It’s not working, Raul,” I pronounced and snapped out of the mid-transformation phase I had tried to enter.

His face held some strains of disappointment following my failure, but he soon brightened up to welcome me back.

"It's alright. We don't always get it right at the start."

"Was that meant to comfort me?" I asked, fully aware of what he was doing.

"Well.." He said, tugging me slightly by the shoulder. "Let's go in. I reeled in a little catch while your eyes were closed. So dinner?"

My eyes widened in amazement when I saw what he referred to as little. A giant squirrel he held up high by the tail. It sure weighed a lot and I could tell tonight's soup would taste really nice.

My new home wasn't far away. Raul had said it was a hideout when he initially brought me here, but it had grown to be much more than that. The wooden house was small; a sleeping area of heavy antelope's fur close to a fireplace, maps of no specific location scattered around, held fast to the walls with pegs, and an axe. I had no properties of mine, and I honestly didn't intend to, considering my belief that here wasn't a permanent place for me.

Although I had gotten a lot more comfortable with Raul since the first day he spared my life, there would eventually come a time for me to leave. Or so i thought.

He must have read my thoughts.

"Natasha?" He called.

"Yes," I replied as normal as I could.

"Penny, for your thoughts?"

"No, there's nothing in there,"

"Not even about what happened earlier?

"Nothing happened, Raul. I just find it hard to concentrate or do it. My Dad.." I paused, unable to complete the words in my head. I was yet to tell him what transpired back at my home. He had never asked too, waiting for the right time.

I had piqued his curiosity now and I had to follow through.

"Your Dad, what?" He placed the meat down at the entrance of the house, before facing me directly.

"Ermm, maybe we should settle in first. I would love to water my body. I feel so itchy," I retreated a bit, trying to avoid the conversation.

"Okay. But you should know you can't hold back for too long," His smile gave me a rush of reassurance. He meant those words from a place of love, and I nodded in agreement.

"I'll be right back,"

I could feel the water sizzle as I stripped and stepped in to wash myself.

It was time to tell him everything. He deserved to know why I was out here in the common world. Maybe this truth could cause an uproar, a war even, but I didn't mind right now.

For my conscience's sake, he needed to know.

***

The evening sun dipped and slowly faded into dark by the time we were done eating. Raul bit into the ribs, digging in as far as his primary dentition could carry him. It was a delicious meal; one of those I enjoyed with my father, over a glass of wine, and nourishing weeds after.

"That good?" I asked, seeing as he paid less attention to what the oils did to the sides of his mouth.

"Yes, that good. Want some?" He stretched a portion with his right hand towards me.

I shook my head. Asides from the fact I couldn't eat like that, I was already full.

"Okay. I'll gladly finish up,"

I watched him go back to the bones, chewing from the portions on both hands, too impatient to finish any first. A smile forced its way out, followed by a light chuckle, then he noticed.

"I could count the number of times I have seen that genuine smile since you got here,"

"How many times?" I asked, really wanting to know how petty he was.

"One, two, maybe this is the third,"

"That's a lie," I blurted, the laughter coming out of me fully.

"Fine, five it is. Nothing more," He joined in too, stretching the joke as our voices rang into the night.

After a while, the environment returned to a still one, and it felt like the right time.

"My father would say I laughed like a child with no care in the world," I started. "When I was little, he would normally tickle me down til my ribs hurt from laughing. He was stern when he wanted to be too. Earlier, I wanted to say if my Dad was here, he wouldn't approve of me failing and admitting i can't."

"What happened back at home, Natasha?" Raul threw the direct question. The meat portions in his hand, had dried up from the cold air blowing against them, and dangled freely in his hands.

I looked up to find his eyes before I responded, "Weeks before you met me, the palace was raided by a coup. Followers, guards and everyone who stood for my family's name were taken down, and subdued. My father sits currently in the pit of shame awaiting his death, and as my punishment for refusing to be acquainted with the man who did all these, I was exiled from the royal house."

"A coup? The house of Miklaus was sieged? How come.."

"How come no one heard, right? Zev needed it to be a secret, so he made sure every eye witness was a supporter of his. So, the famine, the high taxes, and every trouble the land is facing, he needs my family to bear the curse of the people,"

"Zev Cohen, the first born of the House of Ranadon? Second in line to the throne, and betrothed to the daughter of..."

"Yes, me," I chirped in again, before he completed the hierachical order.

He was speechless, staring into my eyes, trying to find the hurt in them. I was, but nothing compared to that night it happened.

"I'm fine now. So, you don't have to worry about my hurt. Someday, I will see my father again, and I will repay Zev for the pains he's caused my family. It's a promise I made to myself, Raul, and I will keep it even on my dying breath,"

My emotions were now stirred, and looking away, a tear fell from my eyes. He stood up, and moved towards me. His scent was closer to me than usual, and when i turned, I could see his eyes staring right into mine. They had a glow, and it felt like we shared the same pain.

"I understand how you feel, Natasha," His hands cup my hands, warming my whole body. "I lost people too, loved ones. I lost my home, so yes, I do understand. And I want you to know that you are not alone in this. The fight ahead, the battles in your mind, the pains in your heart, you are not alone. Don't ever forget that," His words melted into me.

Then, his hands moved to my face, and slowly, his lips crept into mine. I didn't move. I couldn't. The feeling was soothing, and I could feel my entire body begin to charge up. It was like the feeling he always described about the transformation process. My immediate environment with all its elements faded, and for a moment there, it seemed I was in a different realm. Raul and I.

His kiss deepened, stirring the energy within me, and my hormones. I kissed back, our pacing increasing with every tongue roll. Soon, I was in his arms, heading into the house. In no particular order, boots, garments, and the rest of our clothes fell to the ground in shreds, leaving us bare under the first light of the moon.

I had a few seconds to gasp for air, as he kissed my neck deeply, and while I tried to moan, I howled at the moon, my eyes carrying a golden glow in them.