Queen of the men

Blu

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One thing about being a gangster is the inability to cry when people are watching. Father said it makes you look weak and that is abominable.

It'll give your haters an opportunity to laugh at you, and make you look like a complete fool.

So in order to give you haters no view of emotions, you keep up a straight face and once in a while, you smile.

Make it look like the pain didn't hurt one bit.

It was my father's funeral, everyone kept on whispering and saying things like I'm heartless or wicked or I probably wanted him dead because I have refused to cry, right from the moment they announced his demise to me.

At a point a smiled cheerfully once or twice and then went back to normal.

Someone even said I was his killer, that I killed him myself just to inherit his throne, like there was anything here worthy of inheritance.

But the truth people don't know is that I don't know what emotion I am to put up right now.

Everyone knows me as a cheerful girl, too happy infact, not a day could come that I could ever look sober, but well today was different, I think ever since the day he died, everything has become different.

I no longer see a reason to smile, because he was everything that brought light to me.

"Blu"

I turned around slowly looking away from his grave and noticed the entire crowd was staring at me.

I turned to my assistant, Jessica.

"Mhm?"

"They asked if there's anything you want to say further", she said calmly.

I smiled, "No".

I looked at the grave one last time and then turned around.

"Let's go", I said

She looked at me surprised, the funeral just started moments ago.

"I'm hungry, let's go", I told her again and walked through the crowd and headed straight for my car.

The whispers continued, my aunties cursed me, people swore, said a lot of cruel things that I cared nothing about.

I wasn't about to break down in tears in front of them, I needed to leave.

I got into the car and Jessica did the same, she was driving.

"Blu are you okay?", she asked.

My lips trembled.

I shook my head negatively as tears crowded my eyes.

You're a gangster, don't you dare fucken cry.

She immediately started the engine and we drove off.

Soon as we pulled up in front of our estate gate she looked at me.

"People are going to talk", she said.

"Fuck them", I mumbled and got out of the car.

"Blu", she called out again following me.

"Jessie I wanna be alone"

"The Hastings brothers are coming today, remember", she said.

I stopped on my tracks.

Fuck.

I turned around.

"When they arrive just let me know", I said.

"They can't meet you like this Blu, you need to pull yourself together, you're breaking" she said so worried.

I sighed, she walked up to me and held my hands.

"Bitch, I know you're falling apart, but you need to get your shit together, cry if you want to, don't keep holding in emotions, you need to let them go so you can move on, I have never seen you so unfunctional before. You couldn't even stay till the end of the funeral, please Blu, pick yourself together, you're all you have".

She was right, I was all I had left.

No mother

No father

No sibling

Just me.

I shook my head and then we walked into the building

I saw a limo that I haven't seen in awhile.

The plate number had " Hastings " written on it.

"You didn't tell me they were coming so soon", I said already panicking.

"I swear, the last time I spoke to their manager, they were still on their flight, I was expecting them by evening", Jessie said.

I sighed and took a deep breath and, and then opened the door.

There were 4 men sitting on the couch in the living room laughing and talking, all of them dressed in a black suit.

They all seemed to pause as I walked in.

They were staring at me, with a look of shock on their faces.

I took the opportunity to study them all.

They looked, honestly very very hot.

More than the last time I saw them.

"Blu?", one of them called breaking the silence.

"Fuck", one of them muttered under his breath

I walked into the room with my heels greeting the marble floor, then I dropped my bag.

"Why are you all staring at me like you're seeing my father's ghost behind me", I asked.

The first person to jump to hug me was Jeremy, he was the youngest and cutest, he was a year older than me, he has very charming deep green eyes, he was the only brown headed in the family, he got that one from his mother.

Although he was quite a hard case, he was fucken hot.

"I tried to force a small smile".

"Nice to meet you too Jeremy ", I said.

Second person to get up was Tobi, he was three years older than me, he had a dirty blonde hair, charming deep green eyes and perfect face for a model magazine... well obviously he was a model but like, get what I'm saying.

"Jesus Blu it's been years", he said hugging me tightly.

"Don't kill me now, we don't want to have two funerals in one day ", I said.

The third person to get up was Alex, he was more like my best friend, he was always there for me even in my most toughest times.

He didn't say anything, he just smiled broadly and hugged me, the way he hugged me, it was different, it made me want to cry, it was more like a comforting hug, an I miss you hug, an it's gonna be okay hug.

We pulled away.

"Hmm, someone has grown taller ", he teased.

That made me break into a smile, he always knew the right words to use to make me smile.

Then I turned to the last person.

Every time I saw him, my heart skipped a beat or two, and nothing has changed for the past few years of not seeing him.

"Hi Damon", I said.

"Blu", he responded.

And that was it, no hug, nothing.

Typical Damon.