CHAPTER 5

IVY POV

The car was dead quiet.

Pedro was driving with Liam on the passenger seat, while I sat in the back, staring out the window.

Snowrich Pack had disappeared behind me.

But I did not look back.

We drove for hours. I was quiet throughout our trip, I did not ask where we were going because I did not care.

When the car stopped, we were in front of a hotel. A small quiet one.

Pedro sighed heavily, then turned to look at me and said calmly, “We will stay here tonight. Just for now.”

I pressed my lips together and did not say a word.

He got a room for me. One room. Just for me while they took the next rooms beside mine.

I walked into the room, closed the door and made sure it’s locked, before I fell apart.

I sank on the floor, with my back against the door and cried hot, fresh tears that I could not stop.

I cried for Miles. For his smile. For the way he used to run to me. Now he ran to her.

I cried for Damon. For the years I wasted. For the love I gave that he never wanted and respected.

I cried for myself. For the woman I used to be. The one who believed in love. The one who thought she could fix a broken man.

I cried until my chest hurt. Until I could not breathe. Until there was no nothing left.

Then I heard a knock.

It sounded very soft and careful.

“Ivy?” Tara’s voice came from the other side. “Ivy, it is me. Open the door.”

I shook my head and did not move.

“Ivy please. Let me in.”

I wiped my face shakily with the back of my hands and unlocked the door.

Tara stood there with reddened eyes like she had been crying too.

She stepped inside and pulled me into a tight hug. I did not hug her back at first. I just stood there with my hands dangling at my sides, stiff and broken.

Then something inside me cracked open.

I grabbed her and held on tightly. Then I cried like my life depended on it.

“Why did you do it?” My voice came out muffled on her shoulder. “Why did you call them?”

“Because I could not watch you die there.” Tara replied softly. “You were dying, Ivy. Every day. And you did not even see it.”

“I lost everything.”

“You lost nothing that was worth keeping.” Tara said softly and pulled back. Then she looked at my face. “Damon was never yours. Serena was always waiting. And Miles….”

She stopped abruptly.

Then she continued carefully. “Miles is five. He is young. He does not understand. But one day, he will. And he will come back to you.”

“You do not know that.”

“I know you.” Tara said softly and held my hands with an intense look in her eyes. “You are the strongest person I know. You survived them leaving. You survived years of loneliness. You will survive this too.”

“I do not feel strong.”

“You do not have to feel it.” Tara said calmly and squeezed my hands. “You just have to keep going.”

I pulled away and walked over to the window. The sun was setting, already going down gradually, bathing the sky with streaks of orange and red. Like fire.

“I thought I would find peace with him.” I said quietly. “I thought I would finally have a place. A family. A home.”

“He was never your home, Ivy. He was just a place you stayed for too long.”

I turned to look at her and asked brokenly, “what do I do now?”

Tara shrugged her shoulders and replied breathlessly, “You live. You breathe. You wake up tomorrow. And the next day. And the next. Until one day, it doesn’t hurt as much.”

“That sounds terrible.”

“It is.” Tara replied soothingly with a sad smile on her face. “But it is the truth.”

I sat on the bed and noticed the white sheets. It was clean and sparkling, nothing like the guest room in Damon’s house.

“I do not know who I am anymore.”

“Then find out.” Tara said and sat next to me. “You were always more than his wife. More than Miles’s mother. You were Ivy. Before all of them. Find her again.”

I thought about the woman I used to be. The one who had dreams. The one who built something from nothing. The one who buried herself to become some else’s shadow.

“She is still in there.” Tara said softly. “She is waiting for you to come back.”

I looked at my hands. They were empty. But they could hold something new.

“I am so angry.” My voice broke. “At Damon. At Serena. At my brothers. At you.”

“I know.”

“At myself.”

“I know.”

“I wasted seven years.”

“You learned for seven years.” Tara corrected me. “Now you use what you learned.”

I lay back on the bed and stared at the white ceiling. It was blank. Like a new page.

“I want to rebuild.” I said softly. “Not for anyone else. For myself.”

Tara nodded. “Then rebuild.”

“I do not know where to start.”

“You start small.” Tara said softly and lay next to me. “One day at a time. One step at a time.”

I closed my eyes and thought about Miles. The pain was still there. It would always be there.

But maybe….maybe I could carry it.

Maybe I could grow around it.

Maybe I could become something new.

“I will rebuild.” I whispered. “I will find her again. The woman I used to be.”

Tara held my hand and said with determination in her voice, “I will be right here. Every step.”

I did not know what tomorrow would bring.

But for the first time in seven years, I wanted to find out.