Chapter 005: Poolside Apology

~SAFFRON~

I miss my mom. I miss her so very much. It's been only two days since she left with Fred for their honeymoon, but it feels like weeks. I can't even remember the last time we were separated from each other. And now, lying on my bed as I look at a picture of us together—me, her, and my late dad—on my dresser, the frame's edges worn from years of handling, I can't help but wonder how such a lovely, happy family has turned into this wannabe family. Yeah, I'm happy she's found happiness again with Fred. Plus, I love Fred. He seems to be a good husband and a good stepfather. But how I hate his son, Jason. I didn't hate him before. I never even thought I would put him and the word "hate" in the same sentence, especially after finding out he was the hot guy I kissed—that impulsive moment at the party. You see, this is why you don't fall for looks. Some insanely attractive people open their mouths, and they go from a ten to a quick zero. Jason takes that lead. Still, I couldn't help but look at him, nor get flustered whenever I see him in the house or feel his presence. It's like hatred mixed with admiration? And why would a sane person like me admire someone as disrespectful and arrogant as Jason? It doesn't make sense.

I sigh, rising from my bed to take a stroll around the mansion. Maybe I'll look at the garden or the horses in the stable. They would appreciate me noticing their presence, unlike someone. "Look after your sister", that was Fred's instruction to him. But he has done the exact opposite, as expected. He exceeded my expectations in that aspect. I'm being looked after by a ghost! Why am I even pissed? It's better this way, not having to see him today. I couldn't even trust him around me, not with the way he looks at me when he bothers to. Like yesterday, while we saw each other on the staircase—on my way to my room, him heading wherever—he had looked at me with surprisingly puppy-dog eyes at first. I was so sure an apology was coming. But no, he switched to being flirty with me, chewing gum, his eyes raking over my body, lingering mostly on my face. And I can't forget that stupid-ass smirk on his face. How I hate myself for feeling so captivated by those eyes. But mostly, I felt insulted and angrier with him. Jason is never going to apologize for being snappy. It's even more frustrating when I think about going to the same college as him next week. Don't even get me started with Maxwell.

Groaning as I run my hands through my hair, pulling at it, I remember seeing a big pool in the mansion when my mom was giving me a tour. A good swim is what I need right now. It will probably relieve me of some thoughts. I'll just take a stroll some other time.

I rummage through my wardrobe, looking through bikinis—my mom is a huge fan of the beach, and I'm like her handbag. After several minutes of looking at my bikini collection, I finally settled on my black bikini. It fits my current mood, black like my swirling thoughts. Although, I don't tie a sarong like I usually do whenever I wear a bikini. My mom would usually mock me about being too decent on the beach, pointing at someone naked. It's not like I'm going to the beach now. Also, Jason's absent as usual, which is the cherry on the cake. I get to walk around the house naked in the meantime, if I choose to. No, I won't bump into him. He always returns home late, and it's still bright outside. And even if he comes home early—which is nearly impossible—the chances of him noticing my absence or hunting me down are slimmer than him apologizing.

I take my bone conduction headphones along with me as I step out of my room after wearing the bikini. Maxwell had recommended one to me a few months back, telling me he frequently wears one during swimming practice with his coach for an amazing listening and swimming session. No matter how hard I try to forget my ex, I'm still leaning toward the memory of him.

After putting on the headphones and diving into the pool, the coldness of the water gives me this quick thrill, shocking my skin before settling into calm. The calm music and the feel of the water drown out my thoughts, pulling me into this serene feeling. It's so nice that I wish it were possible for me to fall asleep in it. My eyes squeeze shut shortly as I relax into the music, balancing myself in the pool by steering the water carefully with both hands. I don't know how long I've had my eyes shut. But as my eyes snap back open so I can begin swimming, the sight in front of me shake me to my bones, making me gasp. Jason is squatting near the pool in his dark jeans and regular black tee, his brows knitted together as he stares at me confusedly, his sharp jaw clenching, like I've intruded on his territory. I’m sure I'm not imagining him, because I couldn't possibly be daydreaming about him.

He gestures with his hand, pointing to his ear as he mouths something. Have I gone deaf? Why can't I hear him? Oh, the headphones. I remove it quickly, and that's when he stops gesturing, standing up. Why is he back this early, and here? Jason can't possibly be looking for me. The thought of that happening almost makes me laugh.

“You should be aware of your surroundings,” he says in his usual deep husky voice, eyes scanning around before pinning back on me. The water suddenly feels warm. “The security isn't a hundred percent.” he adds, calmly kicking his foot.

“What do you want?” I ask coldly. But he's right—I didn't hear him arriving, which tells me I need to be aware of my surroundings. And that includes not swimming with songs in my ears.

“You sure you really want to know?” he answers teasingly. God, why does he have to be difficult?

“Never mind,” I say, swimming over to the edge and placing down my headphones in a safe spot.

“How are you settling in so far?” Jason asks. And If I didn't know him a little, hearing the way his voice sounds—raw and heavy—I would think he was really being concerned about me.

“Like you care,” I answer, not bothering to look at him.

He chuckles, the sound of it echoing in my chest. “And I thought you wanted us to start afresh.”

“I take it back,” I say almost immediately.

Soon, I hear him groan in frustration, drawing it out. I look at him, and that's when his eyes drop to the pool, and then to me, clenching and unclenching his fist like he's fighting his own impulses. The next thing that comes out of his mouth makes me blink back in surprise.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

He shuts his eyes briefly, exhaling deeply. I notice how his head shakes slightly as he avoids looking at me. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you the other day,” he says, repeating those words. A shallow breath escapes my lungs. My heart stutters. This is real. Jason is apologizing to me. “And I never should have made such comment about your mom. It won't happen again.”

“You’re sorry?”

He responds with a nod. His eyes are so sincere as he gazes at me. And then they drop below my neck. That's when it hits me that he can see my cleavage above the water. And honestly, he is being respectful about it, looking away the second his eyes landed there.

“Wow.” The word leaves my mouth before I can stop it.

“Wow,” he echoes, his expression shifting to being cocky. “Just wow?”

“I’ll think about your apology,” I say.

“That’s not good enough,” he mutters, and I shoot him a hard look. His lips press tight as he shakes his head disappointedly at me, blinking away. I'm almost swimming away when his words stop me short. “Okay, fine. How about I make it up to you?”

And how does he intend on doing that? I gesture with my hand, urging him to continue because I really do want to know.

“Come with me to a friend's house party tonight?”

I should have known. Party and practice are all he thinks about.

“I’ll pass,” I tell him, swimming away.

“Come on, it will be fun. I promise,” he says after me. By the time I get to the end of the pool, I change my mind about not going. I'm getting tired of the house, and I heard from Kate that house parties are always fun. And if we're starting afresh, this is the first step. But I'm not too sure about going with him—not after what happened the last time we were together in his car.

“Okay,” I say immediately as I swim back to where I'm just a few feet away from him.

“Okay what?”

“Oh my God,” I say exasperatedly. “Really?”

He looks at me cluelessly, “I’ve got to be sure,” he says with all seriousness.

I sigh heavily. “I will come with you to the house party.” I hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.

“Mmh” he hums, low and lazy. Then a long pause that makes my stomach twist. Is he… regretting this already?

“Then I'll see you by seven.” he says, his eyes flicking down once to my chest area before walking away, looking over his shoulder.

I don't know if that was intentional or an unconscious thing, but I do know his eyes had lingered there this time. And suddenly, my pulse is quickening—just from thinking about going to my first house party with Jason, or maybe from the way his gaze lingered.