JENNA
UNTI-UNTI AKONG nagmulat ng mga mata.
But even before I did that, alam kong hubad ako sa ilalim ng kumot. Naisip ko, with my brain feeling detached from my body, shit happens when you allow yourself to get drunk alone in a bar. But I didn’t think it could happen to me.I couldn’t even cry. Sobrang katangahan na ito. Sobra na!But in the next moment, I realized I wasn’t completely naked. Suot ko pa ang bra ko at panties. Sinilip ko ang ilalim ng kumot para makasiguro, at totoo. And then I smelled soap. Sa buhok ko. Sa balikat ko. Sa mukha ko.I remembered puking before I passed out. Pagkatapos niyon… ni hindi ko na maalala kung anong nangyari. But I did remember strong hands around me before I completely lost it. I remembered leaning on a strong chest. I remembered smelling a certain male cologne that seemed somehow familiar and comforting. I remembered a pleasant but clearly worried voice calling my name… Kilala ako.Sino? Kanino?Ngayong alam ko nang hindi ako namolestiya at sa halip nilinisan pa nang kung sinong nag-rescue sa akin, mas malakas na ang loob na naupo ako sa kama. I was lying on the middle of it and it was a single bed. So wala akong nakatabi kagabi. Walang ibang unan o indikasyon na may nahiga sa tabi ko.And I felt… okay down there. Hindi ako active and aside from the very first time, alam ko naman na siguro kahit papaano ang pakiramdam kung nakipag-sex ako sa kung sino kanina o… kagabi, right? Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na.Naghanap ang mga mata ko. I was hoping to see my things, but what I saw was a digital clock on the bureau. Nine o’clock PM.Gabi pa pala. Pumasok ako sa bar around lunchtime. Imposibleng lampas ng twenty-four hours akong tulog kasi alcohol ang ininom ko at hindi pampatulog. Noone in that bar would harm me, that’s why I went there. That bar was one of my Mom’s. It was a mistake, though, to leave the place very drunk. But I wasn’t thinking anymore then. I just wanted to go home.Pero sinong nagdala sa akin dito?The room looked decent. Pero may nakita ako na agad na nakapagpakalma ng loob ko.It was a picture frame lying on the nightstand. It was of an elderly woman. Mga nasa 60’s siguro. And she looked lovely.I didn’t think anyone connected to the graceful-looking lady would be a... bad person.Hindi ka nakakasiguro. Sa dami nang masasamang mga nangyayari sa mga kababaihan sa mga panahong ito, dapat lagi ka pa ring nag-iingat. Boses ni Mommy ko ang boses sa utak ko.Namasa agad ang mga mata ko. I badly needed her right now. Gusto kong pumunta sa kung saan man siya nagta-travel ngayon – she’s probably still in Bali – at mag-request na ipagluto niya ako ng favorite food ko. Makita ko lang siya at makasama, I knew I’d be alright.On the other hand, if she found out what I did today because of a worthless man, alam ko mapapalo ako sa puwet kahit ang tanda ko na.Napatigil ako nang may marinig ako sa labas ng kwarto. Someone was there, moving and doing something. At hindi siya nagtatangka man lang ingatan ang kanyang ingay, which meant he didn’t care if I hear. Pero sa biglang paggalaw ng ulo ko noong mapatingin ako sa pinto, I just realized I had a massive hangover.“Araayyy…” mahina kong ungol.Sa kabila niyon, alam kong kailangan kong lumabas ng kwarto. I couldn’t stay there and suffer the suspense of not finding out who my rescuer was. I remembered how extremely drunk I was. And in my heart of hearts, I believed I’d really been rescued.I heard his voice. I heard him asking me to wake up, and I couldn’t because I was so lushed. I did try to open my eyes and I saw his face as he tried to finally lift me up. I think I recognized him.Naaalala ko ang mga ito habang nakabangon na ako. Kinukuha ko ang iniwan nang kung sino mang rescuer ko na cotton shirt at boxers, masinop na nakatiklop sa ibabaw ng isang stool malapit sa kama.Nagbihis ako, at lumabas ng kwarto para kumpirmahin ang hinala ko.I found him in one of the rooms, Christopher Danse, or better known to everyone at work as Topher, and he’s painting on a canvas.Pagkakita ko pa lang sa ginagawa niya, it all clicked in my head. I do know him. My gosh, hindi lang know. Crush ko siya! I mean, iyong klase na parang sa isang celebrity wherein I really admired him, and his work and I didn’t care if he knew. He was handsome and a hunk, too.And a lone wolf. I respected that more than anything else kaya sa ilang mga pagkakataong nagkakasalubong kami sa mga hallways, tamang ‘hi’ lang ako o ngiti.He’s one of our artists in the Marketing and PR department – actually, he was the best there. Ilang beses na siyang nabanggit ni Uncle Markus and he did mention that Topher also painted. Hangang hanga si Uncle sa kanya. At ako, sa mga sandaling iyon, ay hiyang hiya naman sa kanya.Well, I must face the music now. Tumikhim ako. Sobrang focused siya sa ginagawa niya, inulit ko pa iyon ng dalawang beses at mas malakas bago siya nag-react. Lumingos siya, sandali akong tinitigan na parang wala pa siya sa present moment.Then he blinked, and awareness flickered in his eyes. Tapos nagmadali siyang tumayo at tumalsik ang hawak niyang palette ng paint kasi tinamaan iyon ng isa niyang kamay na may hawak ng brush. Sinubukan niyang habulin ang palette pero pumatak iyon sa sahig, facedown.“Oh no…” nasambit ko na lang. Nakangiwi niya iyong dinadampot sa sahig. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you or surprise you like that…” Napalunok ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ay parang gusto kong matawa. So clumsy. So cute.Nakatingin siya sa kanyang kalat. Naglamutak ang pintura sa sahig. “It’s alright. It’s washable.” Pagkatapos ay taranta siyang bumaling sa akin. “How do you feel? I didn’t do anything to you, Ms. Lee. Kahit tanungin mo pa ang manager. Hindi ko kasi alam kung saan ka nakatira tapos sobra siyang busy kasi nagkaproblema sa bar so sabi ko, ako muna’ng bahala sa ‘yo.”“Oh no. Alam ng manager na kasama mo ako?” dismaya kong tanong.Tumango siya, nalilito. “Yes. Bakit? May problema ba?”“Patay… where’s my bag? My phone?” taranta kong tanong.“Nasa kwarto. Sa cabinet. I didn’t touch anything there din. Sorry kung nagising kang hubad pero puke was all over—”“I understand,” hiyang hiya kong sabi. “You had to clean me up. Pero sandali, I need to check my phone kasi tiyak na sinumbong na ako ng manager sa mommy ko at lagot ako. Baka hinahanap na nila ako ngayon!”Nagmamadali akong nagbalik sa kwartong tinulugan ko para hanapin ang bag ko at ang phone sa loob.TOPHERSHE’S NOT angry. Thank God!Nag-alala ako, but I didn’t think she would be unreasonable. Lahat nang nakakilala kay Jenna Diana Lee sa office, gusto siya kasi hindi siya mahirap kausapin o abutin sa kabila ng koneksyon niya sa ultimate boss naming lahat. Nakakailang nga lang ang kanyang yaman pero once you started really talking to her, she wasn’t unfriendly or suplada. On the other hand, her uncle was one of the coolest men I’d ever met. The fruit did not fall too far from the tree, I see. Pero kinabahan pa rin ako na mag-isip siya nang masama kapag nagising siyang hubad. It was touch and go there, and only after I’d escaped the room did I think of this. Hindi ko na lang talaga kayang pumasok uli sa loob.Hindi ako tsismoso, but I’d heard snippets about her story from the others in the office whenever I went there to submit my work or there’s a commission to finish. Mukhang hindi lang isang beses muntik nang maloko si Jenna nang kung sinong nagpapanggap na in love sa kan
JENNAI WAS not surprised to find out I enjoyed Topher’s company. Nakita ko agad na pareho kaming mahiyain, asiwa sa simula at maingat, pero walang komplikasyon sa katawan kapag kaharap ang isang kasundo. At magkasundo kami, and so obviously. Matapos ang unang mga sandali nang pagkaasiwa at pakiramdaman ay biglang ang daldal na lang namin. Knowledgeable kami sa parehong mga subjects at tumatawa kami sa parehong mga jokes. Nakukuha namin agad ang sinasabi nang isa’t isa, iyong klase na pwede kong simulan ang sentence at tatapusin niya. It was amazing. I wished we’d become friends much sooner. I really did. Sinabi ko pa iyon sa kanya. He was as wistful.Tinulungan ko siyang mag-ready ng hapag-kainan pagkatapos kong mag-shower at isuot uli ang damit kong fresh from the washer. Nag-init pa nga ang mga pisngi ko nang maisip kong bagong bago ang suot kong sexy underwear, lacy and sheer and black. Unless he was undressing me with his head turned away, imposibleng hindi niya nakita ang
TOPHERNAKATITIG SI JENNA sa akin, and I couldn’t look away fast enough.“You mean you knew Keith. Like, you knew about him na ni hindi ka man lang na-shock o kahit nagulat when I told you what happened?”Napapikit ako, saka nagmulat at tumingin sa kanya. “I knew Keith before the company. Barkada siya ng mga pinsan kong pumasok sa same school where he’d went, sa Ateneo. He’s arrogant and a social climber. Kilala rin siyang player. But… it’s been a while. He’s successful now so hindi ako sigurado kung gano’n pa rin siya. I am sorry, Jenna. I wasn’t close to you. Lalabas na sinisiraan ko lang siya kung may sinabi ako.”Nagbuntunghininga siya pero mukha namang hindi nagalit. “That’s okay. Mabuti na lang nalaman ko agad bago pa lumala. Kung gano’n, kanina pa lang alam mo na pala ang nangyari sa akin?”“More or less,” sabi ko. “But just think how lucky you are that you’re not going to marry the bastard.”Pinipilit niyang ngumiti, iyon ang nakikita ko bago ko sinabi ang sinabi ko. Awang awa
JENNAMIDNIGHT.“It’s Christmas Eve!” sambit ni Topher nang marinig namin kapwa ang tunog ng grandfather clock habang sine-set up niya ang pose ko sa tabi ng armchair na hinila niya sa work room. At yes, may grandfather clock si Topher sa library ng bahay niya. And I really liked that clock. In fact, I like how he designed his place. Masculine, traditional, and yet may mga shades ng black and chrome na masculine na masculine. Kasing authentic nang pagkakakilala ko sa kanya.I was back in the room where I woke up so I could get naked of the clothes I borrowed from him that night. Saka ko sinuot ang panlalaking robe na sabi niya ay itakip ko muna sa katawan ko at props sa pose ko. And now, it’s Christmas. Napabuntunghininga ako nang malalim. “Akala ko talaga darating ang Christmas Eve na wala akong pakialam sa season, or probably passed out. Mali ako. But I like the change. I like this.”Ngumiti siya. “Merry Christmas, Jenna,” sabi ni Topher habang bahagyang lumalayo. “Sorry, wala
JENNABUMAGSAK din ang panga niya, gaya kanina.Then his eyes darkened with the unchecked arousal. At napalunok ako. Kasi kung kanina, kung hindi ko man sinadyang nakita ang pagpitik ng pagnanasa sa mukha niya, ngayon ay ni hindi niya na iyon makontrol.“It’s been a long time?” tanong ko.Pipi siyang tumango.Ngumiti ako. “I haven’t seen any man look at me like that and it makes me really feel okay about my body now. Thank you.”Nag-angat sa mukha ko ang mga mata niya. “Jenna, I…” Lumunok siya. Pinanood ko ang pag-angat at pagbaba ng kanyang Adam’s apple. The hungry way he looked at me… I hungered for that, too.“You already know I wore my sexy underwear this morning for a reason?”Muli siyang tumango, saka napapikit nang mariin. At nabisto kong hindi siya naging ganoon entirely ka-successful sa pag-iiwas ng mga mata kaninang hinubaran niya ako nang marumi kong mga damit. Totoong meron siyang naramdaman.Yay!“Yes.” “I still want to do it, kahit it’s not the same man.”Napamulat
TOPHERAGAIN, she responded to the kiss so eagerly, and I groaned between our lips. Anything she did turned me on in a big way. Had I known we’d be in bed together when I was undressing her this afternoon? I had wanted her since then. I missed taking care of someone. I missed loving someone. I missed being in love, and making love with a woman like Jenna who, by her simple smile, could make my heart blossom like a plant long denied of water.And all these—my longing and hunger, I poured out to her. I kissed her deeply, and she gave back to me as hungrily, her tongue sensually playing with my tongue, her body rubbing against mine. I lifted myself from her and she knew. She opened her thighs and I placed myself between them. Ahh, her flesh felt warm to me. I couldn’t wait to take her. I rubbed my meat against her silken flesh and we both moaned. I growled against her skin. Ang sarap niya sa pakiramdam, hindi ko napigil ang aking sarili. I couldn’t stop kissing her but her breasts,
JENNAI WASN’T REALLY SURE how it was to go. I knew my first experience with a guy was sorely lacking – I didn’t cum then. I had to fake it so it would stop and anything else after that just didn’t matter. I was never excited enough. Lalo pang lumala noong mabisto ko ang panloloko.Kahit kay Keith, I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t forget.When Topher carried me to his bed, I was scared to disappoint him. But he kept kissing me and I was so excited like I had never been before, and I certainly knew he wasn’t a conman. Kasi hindi kami.We were basically both just reacting to the sexual tension we definitely feel since this started. When he got rid of his clothes, I couldn’t help but wonder about how good he looked, and how hot he moved. He was so confident and so warm, so sexy, that I could only feel what he was doing to me. The way he checked on me, connected as he kissed me, touched me, and when he went down there I was fascinated with how watchful he was of my every reaction. It was
JENNA I BECAME aware of Topher again after a long moment. He was still thrusting, but slower.“Topher…?” “Sshhh... give me a second to calm down a bit.”“Did you cum?” I asked, feeling ashamed for even not knowing. He still felt hard. Hindi man lang lumambot o lumiit.Umiling siya, pero nakangiti. “Ayokong matapos ito agad,” sabi niya. Saka siya umurong at lumabas.At nakangisi pa rin… bumaba siya roon.And he licked me, happily. It would have looked weird if it didn’t feel so good, and if watching him doing so while he watched me watch him wasn’t such a turn on. The act was so intimate, sandali akong napaisip kung hindi ba sa matagal nang lovers nangyayari ito, nararamdaman ito.Pero ni hindi ko ma-imagine itanong ito sa kanya. I didn’t want him to think that I needed more than this. I didn’t even want to think about this now. Gusto ko lang ma-excite lalo noong nakikita kong gumagapang na siya pabalik.“I’ll make you cum again,” pangako niya.Nakakahiya iyong parang iyak ng antisip