Chapter 3- Shock of my life

2 years later

“Hi.” I say when Jay opens the door. He smiles at me warmly.

“”Hi, come in.” He says moving back to let me in. we hug and then he closes the door.

“You look good.” I say walking behind him down the hallway.

“I do? Thank you.” He says turning back to look at me. “I started going to the gym.” He says smiling at me.

“I can tell.” I say smiling at him too. He really does look good. He lost a lot of weight. I can hear a lot of voices talking at the end of the hallway. I can tell he invited a lot of people.

“I want to go back to my university body.” He says when walking into the dining room. I enter the room last and my eyes scan the people at the table. I recognize a few of them but I don’t know a lot of the others.

“You were really buff then.” I say smiling at the many faces staring at me. “Hi everyone.” I say at the awkward silence in the room. They’re staring at me open mouthed and they’re making me feel self-conscious. I never know what to do when people stare at me like that.

They remain silent staring at me. I stand there feeling awkward.

“Shalom?” A very familiar voice says at the other end of the room. My heart starts beating so fast, I feel a little light-headed. I will my body to calm down I can’t faint in front of all these people. I get a weird feeling from my limbs. It feels like my blood is getting hot.

I take a deep breath and look in the direction of the voice. And there he is, the man that haunts my dreams. If these people staring at me were not standing in front of me I would swear this is one of my vivid dreams.

“Kane, hi,” I say into the deathly silent room. The amplified silence is making my voice sound louder than it actually is. Or am I talking too loud? I have no perception of time, sound, or anything really. My heart is beating so loudly in my ears that I can’t make sense of anything.

“Wow. This is crazy.” He says smiling at me and as soon as I see that beautiful smile of his my heart slows down. I get that smile for a moment; I look at him mesmerized by it.

I remember a time when he would smile that very smile at me. We were so young then, it feels like decades ago.

“Wait, you two know each other,” Jay says looking from me to Kane. I snap out of my thoughts, remembering where we are. I zoned out in front of strangers, that’s so embarrassing.

“Yeah.” I hear Kane say and I stand there awkwardly as twelve eyeballs stare at me.

“How do you know each other?” A girl asks looking me over. She looks at Kane and his smile disappears instantly.

“We went to High school together,” I say and she turns looking at me suspiciously.

“Yeah, I dated her best friend a long time ago.” Mathew, Kane’s cousin says chipping in. I look at him and he smiles at me sweetly. “Have a seat.” He says pointing to the chair next to him.

“Thank you,” I say walking to the chair. Kane’s girlfriend I’m assuming by the way she’s looking at me with dislike follows me with her eyes until I sit down.

“Can I offer you something to drink?” Farrow Jay’s girlfriend says when I sit down.

“Yes, water. Thank you.” I say insanely parched all of a sudden.

“You don’t want some wine?” She asks smiling at me warmly.

“No, I drove,” I say and she nods. She stands up and walks to the kitchen.

“This is amazing,” Jay says coming to sit down at the head of the table. He looks at me as he sits down. His eyes tell me he has so many questions but he knows this is not the time to have that conversation.

“This is my wife, Connie,” Mathew says to me. I turn to his wife and smile at her.

“Nice to meet you,” I say to her. As soon as we start talking the conversation starts up again. I breathe a sigh of relief because the attention is not on me.

Farrow comes back with my water; I thank her and take a sip. The cold temperature soothes my throat and kind of lowers my heated blood. Jay introduced me to the rest of the people at the table. He saves Olive, Kane’s girlfriend for last. She gives a small nod when Jay introduces us. The whole time she has her arm wrapped around Kane’s.

“Nice to meet you all,” I say to the people that I haven’t met yet.

“We haven’t seen you around here in a long time.” James, Jay’s brother says focusing on me with an accusatory look.

“I know,” I say and he makes a face at me.

“I thought you don’t like us anymore.” He says smiling at me.

“That would never happen,” I say smiling back at him.

“I hope so.” He says winking at me.”

“So what happened to this best friend of yours? You know the one Mathew dated?” Connie asks looking from me to Mathew.

“I’m curious too. Where is she?”James asks looking at me excitedly.

“She’s married with two beautiful daughters,” I say and James throws his hand at me bored.

“Uhg! That’s not interesting at all.” He says and everyone laughs.

“What did you expect me to say?” I say looking at him confused.

“Are you married?” Olive asks me over the laughter.

“No,” I answer and she nods slowly.

“Do you have kids?” Another girl asks looking at me.

“No,” I say again and they pass this look between them.

“Okay, let’s eat,” Farrow says standing up and taking Jay with her.

After dinner

A few people start to leave about half an hour after dinner. I look at Jay to let him know that I’m ready to go too.

“Stay for a while.” He says before I can open my mouth to say something. I give him the side and he smiles at me. I need to get home to my mother.

 I stand up and show him the phone. I walk to the kitchen and call my mother. I should check on her and find out how she’s doing. I take a few minutes talking to her on the phone.

When I come back to the dining room the only person left is Jay. Everyone including Farrow is gone.

“How is she?” He asks when I come back to the dining room.

“She told me to leave her alone, so that should tell you how she’s doing,” I say smiling at him.

“So we can get comfortable?” He asks and I nod yes. He stands up and we move to the living room.

“I hope you’re not mad at me,” I say when we sit down on his sofa.

“I was mad at you but I got over it.” He says looking at me concern on his face.

“I am sorry, life just got hectic,” I say and he nods in understanding.

“You do know you don’t have to go through it alone right?” He says leaning forward looking at me.

“I do,” I say looking away. I can’t take his inspection.

“I was hurt when I found out your mother is sick and you didn’t tell me.” He says looking at me sad.

“I didn’t know how to tell you what was going on without burdening you,” I say and he looks at me like I’m dumb.

“Am I really that unimportant to you?” He asks his voice laced with hurt.

“I don’t mean it that way,” I say trying to make him see my side.

“It’s coming across that way.” He says and I realize I’m failing at explaining myself.

“I’m sorry,” I say looking at him.

“I know, just don’t do it again.” He says sounding so fatherly. If our conversation wasn’t serious I would laugh.

“I just got so overwhelmed with everything,” I say all the feelings of stress and fear filtering through my body.

“I know dude. I went through the same thing when I was in high school.” He says and I can tell he knows exactly what I’m feeling. The look in his eyes reflects mine. “I had my dad and siblings; I can’t imagine what it would have been like to go through it alone. Promise me you won’t disappear and deal with this by yourself.” He says that fatherly tone back.

“I promise,” I say looking at him feeling a little emotional.

“Good.” He says smiling at me. “So you and Kane, what’s up with that?” He asks his face lighting up instantly.

“Oh jeez,” I say looking at his happy face.