1

I stared down at my hands, shaking my head as I ran my fingers over my smooth nails. It was the night of my 18th birthday, and I still had not shifted. I was wolf-less. I was officially a disappointment. What was I supposed to do now? My younger sister shifted when she was thirteen, and I had always just assumed that I would shift sooner or later, but my eighteenth birthday had come and gone.

I let out a sigh and tugged my long auburn hair out of the loose braid it was in. My parents and my sister were downstairs celebrating, as if I didn't exist. As if I was just some figment of their imagination. I was nothing to them, and tonight had proven that.

Why would they want to celebrate something as insignificant as my eighteenth birthday when they could be celebrating the fact that my sister had been born a week and two years later than me, was now almost old enough to find her mate.

I rose from my bed and walked over to the mirror. I was tall and lean, with breasts that were a bit too big for my frame, and full lips that were always a bit pouty. My hair was wavy and auburn, and my eyes were a golden color. My skin was pale, but not unhealthily so. I wasn't beautiful, but I wasn't ugly either.

I was just... me. Tarra Voss.

I stared at my reflection, and my heart hurt. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted a mate. I wanted someone to love me. I wanted a family of my own. Someone who would look at me and see me, not just a disappointment.

I let out a sigh and walked back to my bed, flopping down on my stomach and burying my face in the pillow. My life was over. I was never going to have a mate. I was going to be alone forever. The thought made me want to cry, but I refused to let the tears fall. I was stronger than that.

But I wasn't strong enough to stop the tears that fell as I drifted off to sleep.

***

I woke up with a start and sat up, my heart pounding in my chest. I had the most vivid dream. I was running through the woods, my paws pounding against the ground as I chased after a rabbit. The rabbit darted into a bush, and I followed it, only to come face to face with a giant black wolf.

The wolf's eyes glowed a deep blue, and I felt a pull towards him that I couldn't explain. I took a step forward, and he took a step back. I tilted my head to the side, confused, and he let out a low growl.

I woke up before I could see what happened next, but the dream left me feeling uneasy. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, trying to clear my head. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything.

I looked around my "room" and frowned. The walls were bare, and the only furniture was my bed and a small dresser. I was moved up here to the attic after I turned 16 and still didnt shift. Our parents had given Lynn our room next to theirs to have for herself, and I was left with this tiny, cold attic.

I let out a sigh and got out of bed, stretching my arms above my head. I needed to get out of this place. I needed to find a way to escape this pack. Maybe if I could find my mate, I could leave with him and start a new life somewhere else. It wasn't like my parents would miss me.

I quickly got dressed and made my way downstairs. My parents and sister were already gone, probably out celebrating my sister's upcoming birthday. I rolled my eyes and grabbed an apple from the kitchen before heading out the door.

I walked through the pack, keeping my head down as I made my way to the edge of the woods. I didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't want to deal with their pitying looks or their whispers. I just wanted to be left alone.

I reached the edge of the woods and let out a sigh of relief as I stepped into the trees. The woods were my safe place. No one could bother me here. I could just be myself.

I walked deeper into the woods, letting the sounds of nature calm me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, taking in the scents of the forest. The smell of pine and earth filled my nose, and I felt my shoulders relax.

I opened my eyes and continued walking, my mind wandering as I thought about my dream. What did it mean? Was it just a dream, or was it a sign? Was I finally going to shift?

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts away. I didn't want to get my hopes up. It was just a dream. It didn't mean anything.

I continued walking, my mind wandering as I thought about what I was going to do with my life. I couldn't stay in this pack forever. I needed to find a way out. Maybe I could find a job in the city. Or maybe I could become a rogue.

The thought of becoming a rogue made me shudder. I had heard stories about rogues, and they weren't good. They were violent and dangerous, and they didn't follow any rules. I didn't want to become like that, not to mention living in rogue territory without a wolf was basically suicide.

I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my hair. I was so lost. I didn't know what to do. I felt like I was stuck in a never-ending cycle of disappointment and loneliness. I looked up at the sky and watched as the sun started to set. I should probably head back home. My parents would be wondering where I was.

I turned around and started walking back the way I came, my mind still lost in thought.

***

I arrived back home just as the sun was setting, and I was relieved to find that my parents and sister weren't back yet. I quickly went up to my room and closed the door behind me, letting out a sigh of relief.

I sat down on my bed and leaned back against the headboard, closing my eyes. I was so tired of feeling like this. I just wanted to be happy. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. If I could just shift and find my mate, everything would be perfect.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe I should just accept that I was never going to shift or find my mate. Maybe I should just accept that I was always going to be alone.

The thought made my heart ache, and I felt tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I couldn't give up. I had to keep trying. I had to keep hoping.

I stood up and walked over to my dresser, pulling out a change of clothes. I needed a shower. Maybe it would help clear my head.

I made my way to the bathroom and turned on the shower, letting the water warm up before stepping in. I let out a sigh as the hot water cascaded down my body, washing away the stress and tension of the day.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water run over my face. I wished I could stay in here forever, but I knew I couldn't. I had to face reality eventually.

I quickly washed my hair and body before turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked back to my room, drying off before getting dressed.

I crawled into bed and pulled the covers up to my chin, closing my eyes. I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. I just wanted to sleep and forget about everything for a while.

I drifted off to sleep, my dreams filled with images of the black wolf from my earlier dream. I hoped that one day I would find him, that he would be my mate. But deep down, I knew it was just a fantasy. I was never going to find my mate. I was never going to be happy.