Chapter Three

When you have been the subject of constant physical and mental abuse for fourteen years, you start to believe the words coming out of their mouths. My self-esteem was nonexistent, and I had been told I was dirty, ugly and useless so often it was all I knew. I longed for the physical contact of another person; no one had touched me since I was four years old, apart from when they raised their hands to beat me. I would watch from under my lashes as parents hugged their children, men and women cuddling, even friends greeting each other. I wanted to be held like that so much, have someone, anyone, give me a little affection; I barely remembered my Mama, she was just a loving shadow from my past. All I had to hold on to was that I had survived, in two short months, I would be eighteen, and I would be able to take control of my life.

I stared out of the tiny window in my bedroom, watching the raindrops race each other down the broken pane of glass; they appeared to be matching the tears running down my pale cheeks. It was my eighteenth birthday in two months, the day members of my Pack traditionally celebrated their coming of age. There should be a huge party in the main hall, and every Pack member who could attend would join with the new young adult in their happy celebration. They would bring gifts for them and surround them with love and affection, the way you can only feel by being part of a huge Pack; it was a time of joy and looking forward to their futures, secure in the knowledge that they would always have the other Pack members supporting them.

‘I will not be allowed to have such a party, though.’

I think to myself, because I know for sure not one Pack Member would ever have my back.  

‘My coming of age would be no different to all the other days I had endured since the death of my mother. I still did not have my wolf, and it would be highly unlikely I would ever get one now, it was extremely rare for anyone over the age of sixteen to shift.’

That was not going to stop Alpha Reynolds from inflicting more pain on me. At the Festival of Age Ball that occurred whenever the full moon hit its zenith on the very night of my eighteenth birthday. He had ordered a very special, sadistic torment for me that would make me the centre of the Pack's attention. Determined to hopefully put an end to my miserable life, he was going to use his powerful Alpha command to force me to shift. It was the most painful, cruel command he could give. It was common knowledge that trying to force an adult to shift almost always ended with that person's death; it was rare for any shifter to live through the agonising pain being forced to shift caused. Even I knew that, and I had never been formally educated, but I also knew why he was going to do it because I had over heard himt alking to his two Betas. They say you never hear anything good if you deliberately overhear what others say about you. I had been walking through the back corridors of the mansion after completing my chores in the laundry when I heard the Alpha talking to his two Betas. They were standing just outside the back door, smiling and laughing with bottles of ice-cold water in their hands. It had been one of those lazy, hot end-of-summer days for the whole Pack, but not for me. My clothes were sticking to me from my own sweat after dragging buckets of water from the well into the mansion so that I could scrub the floors. I never got a day off, not even Christmas Day, and I knew if anyone caught me eavesdropping like this, I would probably end up in the hospital from the beating I would receive. I was frozen to the spot when I heard them mention me by name.

'So, Alpha. What are you going to do about that little runt living in your house.'

 Beta Joshua asked, taking a long drink of his water and making me lick my dry lips.

'Yeah, doesn't she turn eighteen soon? Going to cause us problems if she stays Alpha, the Council will start asking questions.'

Beta Rowan replied, stretching his lithe body and pouring some of the water down the back of his neck, not caring that it dampened the t-shirt he was wearing.

'I am going to use my Alpha command to force her to shift at the upcoming Ball.'

The Alpha stated, and the two Betas gasped out loud, and I crumpled silently against the wall.

'But won't that kill her?'

Joshua whispered, his eyes wide with shock. He was clutching his water bottle so hard it split, sending water cascading all over his jeans.

'Hopefully, because when it does, she won't be our little problem anymore.'

The Alpha chuckled, and the two Betas joined in. I could hardly believe my ears, the threeof them laughing so casually about my demise, tears stung my eyes. I knew no one in the Pack cared about me, but this was brutal beyond belief. It took all my willpower not to curl up in a ball and howl like a baby at this injustice.

'Why was I so surprised? I knew that turning eighteen was going to cause the Alpha problems. I just did not think they would be this cruel to me.'

Shaking my head, I headed back to the kitchens. Dusk was falling, and already the temperature was dropping rapidly. I still had hours of work to do, so I forced my thoughts to become more practical as I pushed aside thoughts of my impending death, tied on the ragged apron around my shabby clothes and headed down the rickety back stairs to the kitchen. Working mechanically, I began one of my many chores, cleaning out the huge fireplace and then setting a new fire alight in it, leaving it to burn brightly, remembering to place the guard in front of it. Next, I headed out the back door carrying the heavy metal container I had to fill with water so I could complete the rest of my chores.