CHAPTER THIRTEEN

THEO

I woke up furious.

It woke me up as early as 5:30 AM with my hand and jaw clenched tight as my body vibrated with rage.

I was furious at Elijah, the bet and the fact that I'd sat on that couch last night and let him kiss me. Also because of how bad I wanted to pull him close and kiss him back. I went to bed with a very hard dick that I wanted him to touch. All this made me very angry.

I got up and went straight to the basement gym. I didn't even bother with stretching as I loaded weight onto the bar and started bench pressing with more force than form. Push up. Down. Again. Again. My muscles screamed but I didn't stop.

I was halfway through my third set when I felt someone watching.

I looked up and Elijah was standing in the doorway already dressed for a run in shorts and a t-shirt, looking fresh and awake while I was here destroying myself at 6 AM. He didn't say anything as he watched me with that calm expression that made me want to throw the barbell at him.

I did another rep. And another as ignored him.

"You're going to hurt yourself," he said finally.

I ignored him.

He came closer, stopped at the edge of the weight bench. I could only see his shoes but I could tell that his eyes were fixed on me.

"You're angry," he said.

I racked the bar hard enough to make the whole bench shake then sat up and glared at him.

"Brilliant observation."

"You're angry at me, or angry at yourself?"

"Both."

He nodded in approval and that irritated me because he had finally made me accept it. "Good. That means something's working."

I stood up fast enough that he had to step back. I got in his space, close enough to see the flecks of gold in his dark eyes and smell that stupid goddamn soap. "What's working? Your little game? You getting off on making me—"

I stopped because I couldn't finish the sentence.

Elijah waited and gave me space to continue. When I didn't, he said, "Making you what?"

"Nothing."

"That's not what you were going to say."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"Then what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't want to talk to you at all."

I shoved past him. His hand shot out and caught my wrist firmly.

"For the record," he said quietly, "I'm not getting off on your suffering."

"Could've fooled me."

"I'm getting off on the fact that you keep coming back."

I yanked my wrist free. "I came back because of the bet."

"No, you didn't. You came back because you wanted to because some part of you needs to know what happens next."

"You don't know anything about what I need."

"I know you didn't have to come downstairs last night. I know you could've stayed in bed. But you came, you sat down and you let me kiss you."

"Stop."

"And you kissed me back."

I left and didn't look back even though I could feel him watching me go.

****

I showered for long time, scrubbing and scalding my body until it turned pink and felt like my skin was going to fall off. Then I brushed my teeth until it bled a bit to get rid of the taste of him but It didn't work.

When I came downstairs, my mother was in the kitchen making coffee. Elijah was already there, sitting at the table with his own cup, looking completely relaxed.

"Morning, honey," Mom said brightly. "Coffee?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

I poured myself a cup and sat as far from Elijah as the table would allow. My mother set out breakfast—eggs, toast, fruit. It looked like a normal family breakfast.

Except nothing about this was normal.

"You boys are up early," she said.

"Couldn't sleep," I said.

"Elijah was about to go for a run. You should join him, Theo. Get some fresh air."

"I already worked out."

"In the gym?" She looked concerned. "You're not overdoing it, are you?"

"I'm fine."

She studied my face. I could see her doing the math. She finally noticed the tension and the way Elijah and I weren't looking at each other.

"Did you two have a fight?" she asked.

"No," I said immediately.

"Are you sure? Because you seem—"

"Mom, I said no. Everything's fine."

"Theodore—"

"Everything's fine," I repeated, putting enough force behind it that she stopped.

She looked between me and Elijah. Elijah took a sip of his coffee, completely unbothered. Finally she said, "Okay. If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

She didn't look convinced but she let it go and went back to cooking. The kitchen filled with the sound of eggs sizzling and toast popping and all the normal morning sounds that felt wrong with Elijah sitting three feet away from me.

Douglas came in a minute later, kissed my mother on the cheek then sat down with his own coffee and started talking about the day's plans which was more wedding stuff, more errands, more opportunities for them to throw me and Elijah together.

I ate my breakfast and didn't taste any of it.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out. Text from Carson: how's the family visit going?

I typed back: fine

Carson: you're a terrible liar

I put my phone away.

"Theodore," my mother said. "Are you listening?"

"What?"

"I said we need you and Elijah to pick up the table linens this afternoon. The rental place closes at five."

"Can't one of us go alone?"

"It's a big order. You'll need two people to carry everything."

Of course we would.

"Fine," I said.

Elijah said, "What time?"

"After lunch? Say two o'clock?"

"Works for me," Elijah said, looking at me. "Theodore?"

I didn't look back. Just stared at my eggs and said, "Fine."

My mother smiled like she'd accomplished something. Douglas started talking about seating charts. Elijah went back to his coffee and I sat there feeling like I was losing a fight I hadn't agreed to participate in.

My mother glanced at me again. I could see the question in her eyes as she tried to figure out what was wrong.

I finished my breakfast in silence and escaped upstairs before anyone could stop me.