CHAPTER TWELVE

THEO

When I walked into the living room around 11pm, I surprisingly saw him there.

I'd been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for two hours, listening to the quiet house and I still couldn't fall asleep. Then I decided to go downstairs and maybe watch a movie but there he was.

Elijah was sitting on the couch in the dark with no TV and no book. It looked like he had been waiting and knew that I'd come down.

How he knew? I wasn't so sure.

I stood in the doorway for a moment contemplating turning around and pretending I had never come down here but I summoned courage, walked in and sat on the other end of the couch.

We didn't speak for a good moment, just staring into the darkness. I could hear him breathing and smell the soap on him which oddly made me relax a bit.

"Come here," he said.

I didn't move.

"Come here, Theodore."

Reluctantly, I slid a bit closer but still left a foot of space between us to maintain some sort of distance. But of course, Elijah closed it up as he shifted on the couch until he was facing me, one leg tucked under him, close enough that I could see his face in the dim light coming through the windows.

He reached up slowly, giving me time to move, stop him or maybe even punch him if I wanted. I didn't. His hand cupped my jaw—warm palm against my cheek, thumb brushing my cheekbone, fingers sliding into my hairline at my temple.

I went completely still.

"There it is," he said softly. "You do that every time."

"Do what?"

"Freeze. Like if you don't move, it's not happening."

I tried to pull back. His grip tightened, not painfully but firm enough to keep me there.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said.

"I know." I whispered, suddenly breathless.

"Do you?"

I didn't answer. His thumb was moving in small circles against my cheekbone and my entire world had narrowed to that single point of contact.

He leaned in so slow I could've stopped him at any point. The rational part of my brain screamed at me to turn away, push him and say no. But I didn't listen.

His lips touched mine and everything went quiet.

Not the room because that was already quiet. But my mind. The constant noise in my head from the arguments, the justifications and even the denial, all of it just stopped.

His mouth was soft. Softer than I'd expected and warm. He tasted like mint toothpaste and strawberries. The kiss was gentle at first as if he was testing whether or not I'd bolt but when I responded his hand shifted in my hair, fingers tightening slightly, and the kiss deepened.

His other hand found my shoulder, thumb pressing against my collarbone through my shirt.

My hands came up without my permission. Got halfway to his chest and stopped, hovering in the space between us. I couldn't decide if I wanted to push him away or pull him closer.

He tilted his head slightly and the angle changed and suddenly I could feel it everywhere as his tongue teased mine slightly. Warmth spread from my chest to my stomach and continued to travel lower and I couldn't stop it as it got to my member, causing it to harden as I let out a soft moan in his mouth.

My fingers twitched toward him, making me almost hold his shirt to pull him close. All hell be damned but I still held on to my last thread of restraint.

Elijah made a sound against my mouth, sending vibrations down my chest as he kept moving so slow I almost grew frustrated. I was starting to grow out of breath but I didn't want him to stop, I could also feel his heart racing as his chest met mine. Just when I was about to lose my last hold on control, he pulled back.

I took a deep breath like I had been drowning for so long. He stayed just far enough that I could see his face in the dim light. His eyes were dark and focused entirely on me. His thumb brushed across my cheekbone one more time.

My breathing was ragged. My hands were still suspended in midair between us. My lips felt swollen and sensitive and I could still taste him.

"Do not beat yourself up for this," Elijah said quietly.

Then he stood up, looked down at me for a long moment and he walked away, footsteps soft on the stairs, gone.

I sat there in the dark.

My hand came up to my mouth without me thinking about it. Fingers pressing against my lips like I could hold the feeling there and I could keep it from fading.