CHAPTER ELEVEN

THEODORE

The house became chaotic overnight.

Caterers calling every hour. Douglas at the dining table with seating charts spread out like battle plans. My mother on the phone coordinating with venues, flowers and photographers. And somehow Elijah and I kept getting pulled into it.

"Boys, I need you to fold these programs," Mom said, dropping a stack of cards on the kitchen table.

"We need to sort out invitations as well." Douglas added, setting down a box of envelopes and a guest list.

"And you both need to taste-test the menu options the caterer's sending over," Mom continued. "Make sure we're not picking anything terrible."

Elijah said, "Happy to help."

I said nothing. Just sat down and started folding programs like I'd been ordered to.

We worked in silence for twenty minutes. Folding, addressing, organizing. Our parents moved in and out of the room, too busy to notice the tension. And too distracted to see the way Elijah kept positioning himself closer to me.

Then I felt his knee pressing against mine under the table.

I shifted my leg away to put more space between us and then focused on folding the program in my hands with more concentration than it required.

His knee followed, found mine again and pressed more on it.

I shifted again but he followed again. Like we were playing some fucked up game of tag under the table while addressing wedding invitations above it.

I stood up so fast my chair scraped against the floor.

"I need air," I said.

Mom looked up from her phone. "You okay?"

"Fine. Just need a break."

I walked out to the back porch before anyone could say anything else, leaned against the railing and tried to breathe and think about anything except Elijah. He was becoming more than a pest now.

Five minutes later I heard footsteps behind me.

I didn't turn around. "Go away."

"No," Elijah said.

He came to stand beside me at the railing, acting like we were two normal people having a normal conversation.

"Stop," I said.

"Stop what?"

"This. The touches, the looks and most of all the comments. Stop all of it."

"Why? You agreed to the bet."

"I agreed to—" I stopped. Started again. "I don't even know what I agreed to. This wasn't supposed to be—"

I didn't know how to finish it without admitting something I wasn't ready to admit.

Elijah waited and gave me space to continue. When I didn't, he said quietly, "Wasn't supposed to be what?"

"I don't know," I said, which was a lie.

"Yes, you do."

I turned to look at him but he was already looking at me and had probably been looking at me the whole time. His expression was unreadable except for his eyes which were trying to see right through me.

"You thought it would be easier," he said. "You thought you'd hate it more."

"Fuck off."

"You thought I'd push and you'd resist and it would be simple. Black and white. But it's not simple, is it?"

"I said fuck off."

"It's not simple because you don't hate it. You don't hate me touching you. You don't hate the bet. You hate that you don't hate it."

I had nothing to say to that and nothing that wouldn't prove him right.

Elijah leaned back against the railing and looked at me for a long moment. Then his tongue swept across his bottom lip unconsciously and my traitorous eyes tracked the movement before I could stop them.

I wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Really kiss him. Not the quick press of lips from the locker room but a deep one with tongue and all. Would he taste as good as he— no. Stop this Theo.

I looked away first.

"I should get back inside," I said.

Elijah didn't move or say anything as he watched me walk past him and into the house.

***

That night I decided to call Dana.

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling when I did it. I needed to hear her voice and allow it to anchor me before I completely lost my mind.

She answered on the second ring. "Hey! I was just thinking about you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. How's everything going?"

"Fine. I've been busy with wedding stuff."

"That's good. Your mom must be practically glowing with joy by now."

"She is."

Dana was quiet for a second. Then, "Are you sure everything's okay? You sound... I don't know. Off."

"I'm fine," I said. "Just wanted to hear your voice."

"That's sweet." She sounded happy. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"When are you coming home? For real this time."

"Soon. Another week or two."

"Can't you come back early? Even just for a day?"

I thought about it. Getting in my car tomorrow, driving back to the city and spending a day with Dana and forgetting about Elijah Voss and his stupid bet.

"Maybe," I said. "I'll see what I can do."

"Please try. I really miss you, Theo."

"I miss you too."

"I love you," she said.

I froze there, I had heard those words a hundred times before and could say them back with ease. But right now? That ease was gone.

“Theo?”

"I love you too," I said.

And felt like a liar.