Ruin me, Dear Professor

Renna's POV.

"Yes! Jeff, harder... Fuck, I'm close, keep going baby."

Her legs were wrapped around his waist, his mouth buried in her neck, and the disgusting sound of skin slapping against skin rang louder than my heartbeat.

I froze.

And then a loud scream erupted from my throat.

High-pitched scream I didn’t even know belonged to me, I had intended to walk away in silence, but excuse my fragile little heart for not being able to handle such betrayal.

I had skipped my evening class to innocently make dinner to deliver to my boyfriend of two years... since freshman year, I have loved him more than anything.

You would think he'd want to break my heart more gently.

The two of them snapped out of their trance... him pulling out and stumbling, her shrieking and covering herself like I was the intruder.

“Renna! Baby, wait...”

I was already halfway down the stairs before he could grab his boxers. My chest was tight, and I couldn’t breathe, everything in my body felt too hot, the tears were already spilling, blinding me.

He caught up just outside the building, barefoot, looking breathless and stupid.

“Renna, please baby, wait! I know what it looked like but...”

"I watched you fuck her, Jeff!” I screamed, trying so hard to catch my breath through tears. “I saw it! Don’t tell me what it looked like, I'm not a fool."

He flinched back as though he was just noticing the fury in my eyes.

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, okay? We haven’t been good for weeks! You’ve been distant, you barely allow me touch you, and when we do... the sex seems always... dead!”

I blinked.

My breath caught in my throat, not from sadness this time, but pure, white-hot fury.

“Are you seriously blaming me right now?” I took a step closer to him. "I was battling with a fucking course that I couldn't afford to fail which I almost did!"

"You think because that made me distant gives you the right to shove your dick into someone else?”

His face twisted. “I’m just saying it’s not entirely...”

"Your fault?” I cut him off quickly. “You really want to go there?”

“Renna, please...

“Don’t. Just... don’t.” I shook my head, my voice cracking now. “I gave you everything... Everything, and the one moment I needed to focus on me, you gave yourself to someone else.”

I could see tears clouding his eyes now, but it didn’t matter. I couldn’t feel sympathy, my body felt numb and heavy, my legs moving on their own as I turned and walked away.

I didn’t know where I was going, but I needed distance, from him, from what I saw, from everything.

The campus was quiet, it was night already and most people were probably at the library or out partying. I headed toward the outskirts where the stone benches were placed all around the premises. It was darker there, more isolated.

As I stomped down the path, my eyes landed on an empty bench, but halfway towards it, someone else beat me to it.

A cold looking man, freely sitting down, crossing one leg over the other, a cigarette glowing between his fingers.

A cigarette; that abnormally caught my attention.

I had intended to walk past, but few inches past him, I paused and turned toward him. “Hey,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Do you... have another one?”

He looked up slowly, and that’s when my breath hitched.

He was... stunning.

Not boyish like Jeff. No, this man was carved from a more seasoned stone, he looked a lot deeper on age, his defined jawline shadowed with just enough stubble to be dangerous. His eyes were dark, and his hair was slightly ruffled like he's been running his hands through it.

He raised a brow. “You smoke?”

“Not really.” I shrugged. “But it’s been a shit evening, I just caught my boyfriend cheating.”

Oh no, that wasn't a piece of information to be shared with a total stranger.

His lips twitched with amusement. “Ah,” he chuckled, lighting another cigarette and handing it to me. “Young boys and their uncontrollable urges.”

As our hands brushed, a tingle trickled up my arm. It wasn’t static, just a warm, electric sensation.

My hand quivered slightly but I managed to quickly grab the cigarette before I make myself look like a love starved teenager. “Thanks.”

I drew my first puff and a ragged cough tripped from my throat, so hard I almost bent over. Then I laughed, still coughing. “Okay, wow, I am so not a smoker.”

"Figured.” he mumbled under his breath, but I heard him clearly, because I was paying more attention to this strange man than I was paying to myself.

Silence settled between us.

I didn’t know why, but I started rambling.

“I loved him, you know, so much, I didn’t even realize how ugly these earrings he bought me were until I saw my reflection in a window on my way.” I laughed bitterly. “They look like tiny plastic spoons, and I wore them every day.”

He said nothing; is he even listening to me?

I turned totally to face him. “Would you... mind taking them off for me?”

He stared at me for a moment, then nodded.

He leaned in slowly, his fingers brushing my ear. The tip of his fingers lingered longer than necessary, brushing the soft skin behind my lobe. I felt a warmth unfurl in my belly.

His hands were warm and careful. My eyes fluttered shut. I didn’t want to breathe. I wanted to stay in that strange electricity, in the gentleness.

My ecstatic trance was suddenly cut short as he pulled the earring off and placed it in my palm. “Here.”

“Thanks.”

He just simply nodded, facing his cigarette once more.

"So are you a regular smoker, or... something eating you up too?” I couldn't stop myself from asking; it was more like I enjoyed talking to him, even if he barely responded.

He chuckled dryly. “A little bit of both.” he said, then paused for a while. "Just a slight issue with my wife.”

Wife.

The word hit like a fist to my gut.

It was just two words, but it knocked the air out of me.

Why did that feel so... heavy?

I had just met this man. I didn’t even know his name. And yet, hearing he was married made something twist violently in my chest.

Why did I care?

Why did I wish he wasn’t?

Why did a part of me hope, even if briefly, that he was just... there, alone, like me?

The way he said it, so casually, so honestly, made it worse.

I looked away, my throat tightening. The moment was ruined.

“You should... go work things out with her,” I said quietly, standing. “Sounds like you still have something there.”

He opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say, I didn't wait to hear it.

I handed the cigarette back to him, careful not to touch him again.

“Thanks for the smoke, it was of great help,” I murmured, and walked away.

Only then, as I passed the edge of the trees and back toward the dorms, did the tears start again.

This time, I didn’t know who I was crying for.

Jeff, the boy who shattered my heart?

Or the nameless stranger who made my heart flutter... if only for a moment, before reminding me how unsafe it is.