I WANT IT MORE

LOLA

My feet hurried across the corridor, past the first room, then the second, and I was standing in front of Eddy's room.

My heart was beating faster than it was while I waited for my fate at the breakfast table a while back. 

Not because I wanted my brother-in-law to touch me again under my husband's nose and should be ashamed of my desire, but because I wondered if he would, quietly, obediently, like last night.

It might just be my luck last night, and at the Hargrove's party. I pretty much knew that Freddy wouldn't keep worshipping at my temple like a dog on a leash, pretending what happened to us two years ago never did.

Staring at the solidity of the door frame in front of me, studying how smoothly every grain faded into the luxury of the artisan's professionalism, I could barely keep it together.

My body burnt with warmth, the desire to be in a space that had room for me, to be stared at by eyes that aren't disgusted at my size.

It was hot between my thighs, my p*ssy throbbing for attention from the right person.

I fought the urge to shut my eyes - to my painful reality, to the shame I had been dealt squarely with, to the forbidden desires that kept growing inside my stomach.

I pushed through the door, letting myself in.

"Hi," I said, the shocking sight in front of me causing me to freeze in position, my word hanging somewhere, meaningless, in the thick cloud of confusion that formed between us.

Straight strong legs that spelt athletic, heavy thighs - solid, I wondered how often it exercised, his stomach were full of albs - the type that makes you want to feel them.

His hair was ruffled like he had been running his fingers through them countless times since after he left the breakfast table. 

His eyes still focused on figuring out why I was standing right inside his room when I was supposed to be at breakfast.

I watched him open his mouth to say something, but before the first word escaped his nude plump lips, I had sprinted across the room to meet him. In no time, I had my lips plugged in his as I sucked for every relief I could get to calm the fire that was burning so earnestly between my legs.

This morning, despite knowing very well that we had visitors, I could have tied myself to the chest with one of the slimming trainers Eddy got me - they took up a reasonable space in my closet because he would always pick up one or two whenever he goes to the mall and sees them, but somehow, I figured I would be making so much effort for nothing, so I had just gone to breakfast in a simple hoodie and flared pants, making sure to wear a bra.

While on top of Freddy, I was so thankful to myself for making that decision. It would be easier to undress.

"Uugh!" I gasped, fighting for air amidst our mouths still locked in a storm. I hadn't seen that coming.

The warmth of his fingers caressed the inside of my thighs, I went wild with want.

I was standing on my knees over his n*ked body on the bed - the sheets were soft against my skin, his tongue devoured every corner of my mouth like its favorite meal, his c*ck was rock hard and erect, it poked my stomach hard, the wetness that had gathered around it soaking through my sweatshirt, everything happening to me in that moment did nothing to discourage me from wanting what I wanted, not caring about how much taboo it was.

I grabbed his face tighter, the warmth of his skin sipping through my skin. I sucked on his lips harder, shutting my eyes as I continued to fight the battle I had launched myself into without even thinking.

I didn't trust myself to not go crazy if I broke away from the kiss.

He obeyed, but of course, not for long.

His fingers were still trapped inside my pants and my body was still stiff from the effect.

Still inside my mouth, he drew in a long warm breath and I felt it through my chest down to my stomach.

Then, without warning, he pushed me off himself, guiding my head until I was laying flat on my back.

His eyes were loaded with emotions I couldn't quite figure out.

His breathing was slow and defined. I could see how his chest rose and fell. I could tell he was about to make one crazy move, but I wasn't sure in what direction - sliding my pants down and burying his face between my legs or getting off the bed to find his clothes.

For a rushed second, I watched his lips tremble, then the colors slowly left his face and his forehead creased in.

His hand moved again - without hesitation, without permission, through the waist band of my pants.

My breathing hitched as his fingers struggled between the folds of skin until he was caressing the lips of my p*ssy.

With my hands laying lifeless beside me, I grabbed the sheets tight until my knuckles ached. At the same time, I kept my eyes on him, on the mass of bright blonde that covered his head.

He wasn't looking at my face anymore. My heart started to beat faster at the thought that he was staring at the loads on my chest.

Slowly, he pulled my legs apart and took position between them.

Then, I felt his fingers, two of them, move slowly against the cold of the bridge of my p*ssy, circling lines around my opening.

I sucked in an exasperated breath, then grabbed his shoulders as he dug into me.

My stomach knotted to the satisfaction of feeling like been wanted again.

Then, Freddy withdrew slowly, causing my breath to draw back in. Almost immediately, he went back in, pulling his lips over mine and eating away with my tongue at his mercy.

I ached my body off the bed to meet his, feeling the restriction from the clothes more than ever.

I wanted to say something, but the moment was so intense, my words couldn't even make it out of my stomach.

I held down on the bed, and began to rock against his fingers which were still buried inside me.

His mouth tore away from mine and his head fell on a space on the bed beside my right ear.

His breathing met my neck - hot and impatient.

I groaned to need, bringing my head back to kiss him.

But he pulled away.

Like he had just suddenly gotten his senses back, he climbed off the bed, shaking his head like I was his worst decision.

I wanted to ask him why, but shame weighed against me, shutting me up completely.

I watched him grab a shirt from the floor.

"Let's talk about us," he said hurriedly, like we should have done that before any of these.

I felt a lump against my throat, and my vision blurred in the face of that which I had feared.