Blood and Smiles

Chapter 003

Blood and Smiles

CECILIA

I was still inside my own head when I walked out of the study.

Lila was standing in the corridor.

I stopped.

She turned at the sound of my footsteps, and the smile that crossed her face was immediate. 

"Cecilia." She moved toward me, her voice soft. "I heard. I am so sorry. This whole situation must be incredibly uncomfortable for you."

I looked at her. "News travels fast."

"You know how this packhouse is." She gave a small, sympathetic shake of her head. "I just want you to know that I am here for you. Whatever you need."

She looked like she meant it. She sounded like she meant it. Her eyes were gentle and her posture was open and there was nothing I could point to and say, there, that is the lie.

But I had known Lila my whole life. And something about the way she was standing there, already in the corridor, already turned in the right direction, already wearing that expression before I had even fully come through the door, did not sit right with me.

I kept my face even. "Thank you, Lila."

"Of course." She fell into step beside me as I started walking, which I had not invited her to do. "It is a strange choice, is it not? The Redwood Pack of all places."

I did not respond.

"I suppose Uncle Bonn has his reasons," she continued, her tone thoughtful. "Alpha Cassian does have a strong pack. Very well managed, from what people say in council circles. His numbers are good, warriors are well trained and he keeps things running tightly." A brief pause. "He has quite a reputation."

I glanced at her. "You seem to know a lot about him."

She lifted a shoulder lightly. "I pay attention at gatherings. It is worth knowing who the strong Alphas are."

She said it easily. Like it was nothing.

Then, almost as an afterthought, she added, "I actually met him once but briefly, at the Silvermont gathering two seasons ago."

I kept walking but I was listening to every single word now.

"He was not what I expected," she said, and something in her voice shifted just slightly. But I caught it. "He is very— present. You know how some Alphas walk into a room and you feel it before you even see them? He is like that." She laughed a little and waved her hand. "Anyway. I am sure you will form your own opinion. I should not be going on like this."

She smiled again and turned at the next corridor, heading in a different direction. "I mean it, Cecilia. I am here if you need me."

And then she was gone.

I stood there for a moment, watching the empty corridor where she had just been.

She had described him like someone she had studied. Like someone she had not stopped thinking about since that gathering. 

Every detail she gave had been specific, considered, and just a little too fond for a casual acquaintance.

I filed every single word away and went to find Darcy.

I found her in the small room off the east wing that she used when she was not on duty. 

She was sharpening a blade and looked up the moment I walked in.

"Close the door," I said.

She set the blade down.

I told her everything about the corridor, the smile, the conversation and Darcy listened without interrupting, which was one of the things I valued most about her.

When I finished, she was quiet for a moment.

"I am not surprised," she said finally.

"You knew?"

"Not the details. But the general shape of it?" She nodded slowly. "It is not exactly a secret among people who pay attention. Lila wanted Cassian. She made her interest known before any of this arrangement started but your father refused to put her forward." Darcy paused. "Alpha Bonn directed it toward you instead."

I stared at her. "And nobody told me this."

"Would it have changed anything?"

Probably not but that was not the point.

"There is more," Darcy said, and her voice took on a careful quality. "She has not accepted it quietly. People have noticed that she finds reasons to ask about him. About the Redwood Pack, about anyone who has had contact with Cassian or his wolves. She positions herself in conversations where his name comes up." She met my eyes. "She has been doing it for a while."

I sat down on the edge of the chair near the door.

I thought about Lila standing in that corridor already there, smiling and talking about him like she could not quite help herself.

Lila wanted Cassian.

Lila wanted my Alpha position.

Two things. Both of them things she believed she had a right to. 

And now both of them were being handed to me, which meant that in Lila's mind, I was standing in the way of two things that were supposed to be hers.

That was not a cousin I could afford to leave with any kind of power.

Darcy seemed to follow my thoughts without me speaking them. "If your father gives her the Alpha position," she said quietly, "what happens to this pack?"

I did not answer.

"Cecilia." Her voice was not sharp, but it was serious. "I am not asking to push you. I am asking because I think you already know the answer and you are trying not to look at it."

I looked at the floor instead.

I thought about the pack. Not the elders, not the gossip, not the debt. The actual people who had no idea what was being decided behind closed doors right now and were simply going about their lives, relying on the fact that the people above them were making good decisions.

Lila had never cared about any of them. Not in any way that was real. She cared about what leading them would give her. The title. The authority. The position.

If she took over, everything I had spent my life building and protecting would go to someone who saw it as a prize.

Darcy said nothing. She just let me sit with it.

And I sat with it for a long time.

***

Then I stood up.

I did not say anything to Darcy. I did not need to. She read my face and gave me a short nod, and I walked back out into the corridor and made my way to my father's study.

I opened the door without knocking.

Bonn looked up from his desk.

"I will do it," I announced. "I will mate Cassian."

The breath he let out was long and slow, like he had been holding it for days. 

He straightened in his chair and looked at me with something that might have been relief.

"You are making the right decision," he said.

I said nothing to that.

I just turned and walked back out praying I'd really made the right decision.