The longest night

Chapter 005

CECILIA

I was halfway down the corridor toward my chambers when my father stepped out of a doorway directly in front of me.

I stopped.

He looked entirely too pleased with himself for a man who had just publicly humiliated his daughter at her own mating ceremony.

"Where do you think you are going?" he asked.

"My room, of course, to sleep."

He laughed. Actually laughed, the warm easy kind that meant he found something genuinely amusing, which only made me want to hit something.

"You are a mated woman now, Cecilia. You do not go back to your old room on your mating night." He crossed his arms with the satisfaction of someone who had been planning this conversation. "A chamber has been prepared for you and Cassian on the east side of the packhouse. It's at the far end of the corridor. You will spend the night there."

I stared at him. "And the pack? I cannot just leave—"

"I am still very much alive and healthy," he cut in, the amusement not leaving his face. "I ran this pack long before you were born. I think I can manage while you settle into your marriage." He waved a hand. "Darcy will travel with you tomorrow. She will see to your belongings tonight and go with you to the Redwood Pack as your personal attendant. You will not be going alone."

I opened my mouth.

He raised an eyebrow, daring me to find the argument.

I could not find it. He had thought of everything, which meant this had been arranged well before today, which meant he had known exactly how this night would end while I had been standing at that altar with absolutely no idea.

"You planned all of this," I said flatly.

"I am your father. Planning things is what I do." He nodded down the corridor. "Far end at the east side. Go and have a good night with your mate."

He walked away still laughing, and I stood in the corridor alone, staring at the wall, feeling like the ground had shifted under my feet without my permission.

Again.

****

I dragged my feet the entire way to the chamber.

When I pushed the door open, the room was warm and softly lit, a large bed at the centre, a fireplace on the far wall, everything arranged with an occasion in mind that I was not ready for.

And Cassian was standing near the window with no shirt on.

I stopped in the doorway.

He had his back to me, looking out at the dark grounds below, and I had approximately three seconds of thinking I could collect myself before my eyes moved on their own and refused to cooperate with my dignity. 

His back was broad and defined, muscle running clean lines from his shoulders down to where his trousers sat low on his hips. When he turned at the sound of the door, I got the full view of his chest, his stomach, every ridge of muscle that had absolutely no business looking the way it looked.

Eight. I counted without meaning to.

I pressed my lips together and looked up.

He was already watching me.

"Enjoying the view?" His voice was calm.

Heat crawled up my neck. "No. There is nothing to enjoy."

"You just dragged your eyes over me like you had not eaten in a week."

"I did not."

"Cecilia."

"Do not talk to me."

He blinked once and then lifted a shoulder. "Suit yourself." He reached for the band of his trousers. "I am going to shower."

He pulled them down.

I looked. I could not help it. It happened in the space between one breath and the next, my eyes dropped and then went wide and then I snapped them upward and found him already smirking at me with the expression of a man who knew exactly what he had just done.

"Do you want to join me?" he asked pleasantly.

"Get out of my sight," I hissed out in frustration.

He walked to the bathroom without another word, still wearing that smirk, and closed the door behind him.

I sat on the edge of the bed and pressed both hands flat against my thighs and stared at the opposite wall.

What I had just seen was not something I could un-see, and the bond sitting warm in my chest was not making it easier to pretend otherwise. 

My own body was betraying me in ways I had not given it permission to, and that was perhaps the most infuriating thing that had happened today, which was saying something given the day I had just had.

The moon goddess had a very specific sense of humour, I decided. She had taken my mother, given me a dormant wolf, forced me into a marriage I did not want, and then had the nerve to make the man on the other side of it look like that.

I heard the shower running through the door and made a deliberate effort to think about something else. 

Anything else. Trade routes. Border disputes. The debt. The heir timeline my father had announced in front of five hundred wolves like I was livestock at a market.

None of it worked particularly well.

***

Cassian came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist and water still on his skin, and I had already positioned myself on my side of the bed facing away from the door, which meant I felt the mattress dip before I saw anything.

His warmth settled into the space beside me immediately. The bond pulled toward it like it had been waiting.

"You smell like a ceremony and dried blood," he said conversationally. "You should shower."

I turned my head. "Excuse me?"

"I am not trying to offend you. I am just telling you."

I held his gaze for a moment, then got up without a word and went to the bathroom.

The bath helped more than I wanted to admit. I stood under the water and let the tension in my shoulders loosen, just slightly, and told myself firmly that 

I was going to get back into that room, get into that bed, go to sleep, and wake up tomorrow with everything exactly as controlled as it had always been.

I came back out fully dressed, hair damp, spine straight.

Cassian was lying on his back with one arm behind his head, eyes open, looking at the ceiling. He glanced over when I came in and I moved to my side of the bed and pulled the cover back.

The moment I lay down, his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me in.

I went rigid. "What are you doing?"

"Getting comfortable."

"Let go of me right now." I kept my voice even. "We are mated, not in love. I do not know you. I do not like you. Keep your hands on your side."

He was quiet for a moment.

Then he made a sound that was almost a laugh, low and soft, like I had said something that genuinely amused him but he was choosing not to make a big thing of it.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

I said nothing. Mostly because the warmth of his arm was doing something to me that I did not have a good answer for and opening my mouth felt like a risk.

He held the silence for a beat longer than was comfortable.

Then his lips touched the side of my neck, just briefly, warm and unhurried, right below the mark he had put there. "Goodnight, Cecilia."

He released me, turned onto his side away from me, and went still.

I lay there staring at the ceiling.

He had not pushed or even argued. He had simply let go and gone to sleep, and I did not know what to do with that. 

I had been ready for a fight and he had not given me one, and somehow that was worse than if he had.

I thought about the way he had just kissed my neck like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like he had done it a hundred times before. Like he had all the patience in the world and was in absolutely no rush.

If he kept doing things like that, I was not going to last very long before something in me cracked.

That thought was the last one I had before I finally fell asleep.

***

Something light and warm moved across my face.

I stirred slowly, the way you do when sleep has been deep and your body does not want to give it up. I became aware of warmth beneath me before I became aware of anything else. 

I opened my eyes.

I was lying fully on top of Cassian, my head on his chest, both my arms wrapped around his neck like I had climbed there in the night and made myself at home without asking anyone's permission.

His voice came from above me, low and thick with sleep. "Good morning Luna I don't like you at all, but she's sprawled on my unattractive chest."

The heat that flooded my face was immediate and total.