The journey home

Chapter 006

CASSIAN

I loved the look on her face.

She was spread out across my chest with both arms wrapped around my neck like she had been there all night, which she had, and the moment she registered where she was and how she had got there, every bit of colour drained from her face and then rushed back twice as fast.

I kept my expression completely straight. It took more effort than I expected.

She pushed herself up slowly, eyes narrowing at me like I had personally arranged her position while she slept.

"You did this," she said. "You moved me there deliberately just to spite me."

"I was asleep, Cecilia."

"I do not care. You did it somehow." She straightened, still glaring. "I cannot believe you would stoop this low."

That was when the laugh got out. I could not hold it any longer. It came out fully and I did not bother trying to pull it back.

She stared down at me. "What exactly is funny?"

"You." I looked up at her. "You genuinely cannot accept that you crawled onto me in your sleep and held on."

Her jaw tightened. She turned and rolled to the other side of the bed, putting her back to me with the precision of someone drawing a boundary line.

"You have not returned my greeting," I said.

Silence.

"Good morning, Cecilia."

More silence.

I watched the back of her head and waited. She sat up eventually, spine straight, and turned just enough to look at me over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"This." She gestured vaguely between us. "The talking, the patience and acting like any of this means something to you. What are you doing."

I considered the question properly before I answered. "It does mean something to me."

She looked at me like I had said something in a language she did not speak.

"I agreed to this marriage," I said. "Not because I was forced but because I wanted to. And I am not going to pretend otherwise just because it makes you more comfortable."

"Well it does not mean anything to me," she said flatly. "I agreed because my father threatened to give my throne to my cousin and I had no other choice. That is it. That is all this is."

I held her gaze. "I know."

She blinked, clearly expecting an argument I was not going to give her.

I let the silence sit for a moment, then, "I meant what I said last night. I am going to give you a child. And when I do, you are going to beg me to mark you again."

Her eyes went wide and then her expression shifted into something that could only be described as pure outrage.

"Fuck you," she said.

"Good morning to you too."

She pointed at me. "Behave yourself, mind your business and do not speak to me."

"Understood." I kept my voice even. "Completely reasonable."

She stared at me, clearly waiting for a fight, and when I simply nodded and swung my legs over the side of the bed she looked almost disappointed.

***

I dropped to the floor and started my push-ups.

I could feel her watching. I always could. She was not subtle about it, for all her stubbornness, and I found it more entertaining than I probably should have. 

Every few reps I glanced up and caught her feeding me a look of absolute disgust, and every time I looked away I was fairly certain the disgust softened the moment my eyes were off her.

She was not going to admit it. That much was already clear. She would rather swallow glass than tell me she found me anything other than repulsive, and I had made my peace with that. It only made things more interesting.

"Do you want to join me?" I asked, around the thirtieth rep.

"The moon goddess forbids it," she said immediately.

The laugh that came out of me was genuine. I could not help it. 

She said it with such complete conviction, like she had consulted directly with the goddess on the matter and received a firm answer.

I finished the set still grinning and stood up.

Then I walked to the bathroom without reaching for anything first, and I made sure I was facing her direction when I did.

She slapped both hands over her face.

I watched her fingers spread apart almost immediately.

I smiled at the wall and kept walking.

She could hate me all she wanted. The woman was absolutely looking, and we both knew it. I thought briefly about the moment yesterday when she had refused the mark, when she had stood there in that torn dress with fury in her eyes, and I had wondered for half a second if I had made the wrong decision.

Standing here now, I was entirely certain I had not.

This marriage was going to be the most entertaining thing that had ever happened to me. Every sign was already there. Whatever came next, I was ready for it.

****

Our bags were packed and waiting by the time we came downstairs.

The pack house staff had gathered near the entrance, and Bonn was standing at the front of them looking well rested and unbothered for a man who had shattered a wine glass worth of chaos the night before. 

He pulled Cecilia into a brief embrace and she let him, though her arms stayed stiff.

"Be a good wife," he told her. "Be a good Luna to his pack."

She said nothing. The look she gave him carried everything she was not saying out loud.

He turned to me and extended his hand. "I trust you."

I shook it. "I will honour the alliance. You have my word."

He nodded, and that was enough between us.

We climbed into the coach. Cecilia moved immediately to the far right side and pressed herself against the door like she was considering whether the moving ground outside was preferable to sharing a seat with me. 

I sat on the opposite side and said nothing.

The horses moved and the pack house shrank behind us.

***

I spent the first stretch of the journey turning over the things waiting for me back at the Redwood Pack. 

There was a border issue in the northern territory that Grey had sent word about two days ago. 

The council meeting I had postponed to attend the ceremony would need to be rescheduled. The alliance terms with Bonn needed to be drawn up formally and reviewed.

My mind was already home before my body got there.

We stopped at midday to eat.

I stepped down from the coach and looked around for Cecilia. She was already seated at a table under a wide tree with a woman I did not recognize, talking in low tones. I walked over.

She did not look up.

The woman beside her did. She had an open, steady face and sharp eyes that assessed me quickly without making it obvious. She smiled and straightened slightly.

"Are you going to introduce me?" I asked.

Cecilia studied her food.

The woman's smile held without any awkwardness. "I am Darcy. The Luna's Beta and personal attendant." A brief pause. "It is good to meet you, Alpha."

"Cassian," I said. "Good to meet you, Darcy."

I looked at Cecilia once more. She was cutting her food with great concentration.

I went back to my own table.

****

We arrived at the Redwood Pack as the evening light was going gold.

The pack had come out to receive us. People lined the path from the gate, flowers being thrown as the coach rolled through, voices calling out greetings. 

I watched Cecilia's face through the window. She was taking everything in quietly, her expression closed, eyes moving steadily from one thing to the next. I could not tell what she was thinking.

She got down from the coach before I reached her side to open it.

I had expected that.

We walked into the pack house together, or near enough to together, and she looked around the entrance hall slowly, measuring the space the way I imagined she measured everything, looking for weaknesses, finding the exits, deciding what she thought of it before anyone told her what to think.

The staff bowed as we passed. She acknowledged them with a short nod that was neither warm nor dismissive. 

She was going to be a complicated Luna and I already found that interesting.

Grey appeared at my shoulder almost immediately, falling into step beside me.

"Alpha." His voice was low and efficient. "The northern border report came in this morning. I also need to speak with you about the council meeting and there is a matter with the eastern trade agreement that requires your attention before the week is out."

"Tomorrow morning," I said. "All of it."

He nodded and then stopped as we reached the main hall.

I heard her before I saw her.

"Cassian dear."

The voice was bright and warm and familiar in a way that landed differently now that I was walking in with a mate beside me. I turned.

Kattie crossed the hall in three steps and wrapped both arms around me in a full embrace, her chin at my shoulder, squeezing like I had been gone for months.

"Welcome home," she said. "I missed you."

I felt Cecilia go very still beside me.