187

Marianna

I quit the internship.

I didn't do it in person. I know, I know—cowardice. But if I had to walk back into that blindingly white building, smell the industrial bleach, and look at the cervical rig sitting in the corner of the rehab bay, I think my nervous system would have spontaneously combusted.

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• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   192

  MariannaTime is a deeply sarcastic concept. When you are sitting in a sweltering Wynwood alley having your heart ripped out, a single minute feels like a geological era. But when you are actively trying to scrub a person from your cerebral cortex and rebuild your life from scratch? Weeks evaporate.Before I even fully registered that the calendar had flipped, I had been working at the art gallery and babysitting Nico’s son for over a month.My life had settled into a bizarre, incredibly healing kind of rhythm. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I cataloged wire sculptures with Andrew, who had fully embraced his role as my life coach. He made me practice maintaining eye contact with the UPS delivery guy, which usually just resulted in the UPS guy looking terrified of me, but Andrew in

• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   191

  MariannaNico let out a long, explosive sigh, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. It was like I had just pulled the pin on a grenade."She always messes up the schedule," he said, the words tumbling out of him in a rush. "It's like a sport to her. We have an agreement. Weekends are mine. But she called me this morning crying because her new boyfriend, this absolute clown named Tyler who sells jet skis, broke up with her..."Nico talked. And talked. And talked.He unpacked the entire, chaotic history of his relationship with Bianca. They had been together for almost seven years, married for four, divorced for one. But the divorce was just a piece of paper, because their emotional entanglement was a Gordian knot of resentment, guilt, co-parenting, a

• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   190

  MariannaThat F1 legend had already become a fleeting, painful memory for me.I was going to start a real relationship, build a real life, and shake off all the dark, heavy shadows of the past.At least, that’s what I firmly, desperately told myself as I pushed open the glass door, the little bell above it chiming merrily.Nico’s head snapped up at the sound. His eyes scanned the room, landing on me as I walked toward his table.He immediately stood up, knocking his knee against the metal leg of the table with a loud clatter. He winced, a flush creeping up his neck, and hastily wiped his palms on his jeans."Yes, I'm Marianna," I said, offering a small, sympathetic smile as I stepped up to the table. I extended my hand.

• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   189

  MariannaBefore I had even pulled my car into the driveway, my phone buzzed in the cupholder. Then it buzzed again. And again.By the time I unlocked the front door, kicked off my shoes, and threw my keys onto the entryway table, the notification screen was a solid, glowing wall of activity. I stared at it, slightly horrified. Over a dozen matches. In the span of a twenty-minute drive.Apparently, the population of Miami’s desire to meet new people was vastly greater than I had imagined. Or, more accurately, Andrew and Jill had engineered a profile so algorithmically lethal that it was catfishing the entire male demographic of Dade County.I sat down on the edge of the sofa and opened the app, my thumb hovering over the screen like it was a live explosiv

• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   188

  Marianna"Okay, spill," Andrew said suddenly, pointing his plastic fork at me."Spill what?" I asked, swallowing a mouthful of kale."The tragic backstory," he said, leaning back against a crate, crossing his long legs."There's no tragic backstory," I lied, looking down at my salad."Please," Andrew scoffed, rolling his eyes. "I know a broken heart when I see one. Who was he? Was he ugly? Please tell me he wasn't ugly. I can forgive a lot of things, but I cannot forgive bad taste."I let out a reluctant, breathy laugh. The absurdity of Andrew's priorities chipped away at the defensive wall I had built."He wasn't ugly," I said softly, picking at a cherry tomato. "He was.

• Saved by Brother's Best Friend   187

  MariannaI quit the internship.I didn't do it in person. I know, I know—cowardice. But if I had to walk back into that blindingly white building, smell the industrial bleach, and look at the cervical rig sitting in the corner of the rehab bay, I think my nervous system would have spontaneously combusted.I sat on my bed on a Thursday morning, the laptop burning a hole through my sweatpants, and stared at the blinking cursor for forty-five minutes. I typed and deleted a dozen variations of apologies and medical excuses. In the end, I went with the clinical truth, stripped of all its messy, bleeding emotional context:Dear Dr. Reinholt and Renate,Due to unforeseen personal and medical circumstances, I am unable to continue m

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