Chapter 6: Girlfriend

“How can I know? Hindi ka naman nagkukwento.”

“You don’t have to know. All you have to do is stare at me… and remember that I am Chancellor. Alright? I am the only Chancellor, Paris. I am Chancellor.”

When I opened my eyes, I immediately gasped for air. Para akong tumakbo nang napakahaba dahil sa matinding tibok ng puso ko.  What the fuck happened? Where the hell am I?!

“Paris… Paris, are you okay?” Chester went inside the room and immediately attended to me.

He pat my back as he called someone to attend to me pero hindi ko iyon kailangan ngayon. All I need is a damn space and time to think.

Anong nangyari? Why was that so hard to swallow? At bakit may parang nagpapaulit ulit na panaginip sa akin. I couldn’t really picture it. All I can recall is that I had this conversation with someone. Was it Chancellor?

Maybe. Paulit ulit niyang sinasabing siya si Chancellor. But I… I couldn’t recall why. I couldn’t recall when I had this conversation with him.

After the nurse checked me, pumasok sa loob si Dad na ikinagulat ko. What is he doing here?

“D-Dad,” I whispered while he was arranging his cuffs.

“Masakit pa ba ang ulo mo? Do you still feel any pain?” he asked as he sat beside me.

I gulped and immediately shook my head dahil wala na naman talaga akong nararamdamang kakaiba. All that's bothering me was that fragment of memory I had a glimpse of. Iyon ay kung kagaya nga ng iniisip ko na kasama sa mga nawalang alaala ko.

But even though it was that important, I don’t know if I could trust him with it. Lalo pa’t… nalaman ko noon na kung hindi pa ikinuwento sa akin ng iba, hindi ko pa malalaman ang totoong nangyari sa Mommy.

I’m not sure, but I… don’t think he wants me to remember. Each time I try to ask, he just answered briefly that I was too stubborn, and decided to run away.

“The doctor said that it was because of a headache. Dahil siguro sa hangover mo. He also mentioned that you’re a bit overstressed lately. Rest, okay?” he said.

I breathed heavily and slowly nodded kahit ang totoo ay nagdududa ako sa sinabi niya. I’m sure it’s not just fatigue. I’m sure there’s something more.

“Does she still need to stay here? I can watch for her, and–!”

“I think it’s better kung sa bahay muna siya. You’ll be traveling to Singapore, right? I’ll be handling my daughter and all the preparations for your upcoming wedding,” Dad interrupted Chester.

Nang lingonin ko si Chester, I can see how unwilling he is to obey my father. Pero kung may importante siyang lalakarin, so I don’t think he should stay with me here. 

“I can just… stay here and send a representative there,” Chester said and faced my father.

“I don’t think the investors would like that. Why don’t you just go there, hmm? Ako na ang bahala sa anak ko.”

Dahil sa sinabi ni Dad, Chester looked at me with so much worry, pero wala ako sa huwisyo para makipag usap o i-assure siya. Instead, I lay down and closed my eyes, trying my best to squeeze out something from my brain. 

Pero ilang taon ko nang sinubukan, hindi ko pa rin nagawa. Ngayon pa kaya?

Kaagad rin akong iniuwi mula sa ospital. Hindi na rin ako nag-abalang magtanong pa kay Chester o kay Daddy dahil wala na namang saysay kung aalalahanin ko pa ang mga bagay na iyon. Ever since, I felt like a part of me was missing. Yet I know that it will always be that way, now that Mom’s gone forever.

Wala rin naman si Mommy sa alaalang iyon kaya ano pang saysay? Para madagdagan lang ang sakit? I don’t think I could ever regain my happiness with those memories, nor handle the stress that it may give.

“I have a flight to Singapore tonight. I’m sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to help you with your errands and–!”

“It’s alright,” sambit ko para mapanatag na si Chester. “I can handle it. All I have to do is choose the gown and check if I want to change anything, right?” tanong ko sa kanya.

He nodded as he assisted me to my room. “Yes. I’ll call you from time to time. At… huwag na huwag mong tatanggalin ang mga ibinigay ko sa’yo. Especially when you’re going out, aryt?”

I rolled my eyes at his will. So demanding.

“Oo na. Alis na,” I said dahil gusto ko na talagang mapag-isa. 

Chester breathed heavily before he leaned forward to give me a peck on the lips na ikinagulat ko. “Halik ka nang halik, ah?” iritadong asik ko. Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa kanyang hindi kami gaanong close?!

But the brute laughed before he planted a kiss again on my forehead. “See you, Darling.”

Chester left that night while I was still lost in my thoughts. Maging ang ilang mensahe niya ay hindi ko magawang sagutin. Gosh, I need some fresh air tomorrow or I will lose my goddamn mind because of this. 

“Paris?” I heard Dad’s voice kasunod ng pagkatok sa pintuan. Immediately, I opened the door and looked at him. Anong ginagawa niya rito sa kalagitnaan ng gabi?

“Yes, Dad? Do you need anything?”

He breathed heavily. “I was just checking on you. Wala na ba talagang masakit sa iyo? Or do you feel anything, perhaps? O baka naman…”

I shook my head and sighed. I know what he’s doing. I even  know that he doesn’t care this much. “Baka ano, Dad? Baka may naaalala ako?” I asked directly dahil alam ko namang iyon talaga ang gusto niyang itanong.

And just like I expected, he remained silent and uneasy dahil totoo naman talaga ang sinabi ko. Iyon ang hinihintay niya. Iyon ang inaalala niya.

“I didn’t. Don’t worry, I don’t want to remember it anyway. The pain and the burden I’ve had now was enough to keep away my sanity. Hindi ko na dadagdagan pa ang paghihirap ko,” sambit ko at saka tumalikod sa kanya.

I really don’t want to talk to him right now. I feel so uneasy and tired. Wala ako sa mood makipag usap sa kanya o sa kahit na kanino.

“One day, I hope you’ll realize that I’m just doing all of these for you,” he said.

In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever want to talk to him.

“Necklace? As an engagement offer?” tanong ni Markus nang samahan nila ako ni Claire sa boutique para mamili ng gown kinabukasan. 

Dad didn’t want me to leave, but I insisted to. Mas maayos nang ganito kaysa manatili ako sa bahay at maburyo lang. Hindi naman ako nalumpo

“Unique, right?” puri naman ni Claire.

“I don’t think so. Giving necklaces even in ancient times symbolizes robbing of marriage. Noong mga panahong mas dominante ang lalaki, the winners of a tribe war takes women as prizes and cover their necks with jewelry as a sign of ownership.”

“Ano sa tingin mo kay Chester? Namumuhay sa ganoong panahon?”

“Aba malay ko. I’m just speaking facts, honey. He looks like he’s possessive or something.”

“Tutulungan niyo ba akong mamili o magbabangayan lang kayo riyan?” tanong ko sa kanila dahil kanina pa sila roon habang ako ay hindi pa rin sigurado sa damit na isusuot!

Nang masilayan ko kanina ang mga napiling designs at flowers na naka compile sa isang folder, narealize ko kung gaano kaganda at kagarbo ang kasal! I couldn't believe that two weeks would be enough!

Hindi ko tuloy alam kung may mababagay ba sa aking wedding gown.

“Sorry, ito kasing si Claire, eh,” Markus said before he stood from the couch and attended to me na siya ring ginawa ni Claire.

“Nga pala, balita ko nahimatay ka raw kahapon? Is that true?" Claire asked as I looked at the three wedding gowns that I can't seem to choose from.

“Yeah. Sabi ng doctors fatigue lang daw. But I don't think so. And I don't want to talk about it.” I put back all those gowns and just continued browsing.

Si Markus naman, namili ng design ng suit niya at ganoon rin si Claire dahil naibigay ko na naman sa kanila ang motif.

“Oh, sorry,” Claire said.

“It's okay… it's just… you know…”

Nang lingonin ko sila, they smiled genuinely at me, telling me that the understood dahil sa tuwing ganoon ang sagot ko, alam kong alam nila kung saan lagi humahantong ang lahat.

I breathed heavily and looked away. Nagpatuloy na lang kami sa paghahanap ng wedding gown ko at sa pagkukwentuhan. I tried fitting everything that suited my taste. Until I… found this one.

“That one looks absolutely stunning,” Markus said as I went out of the fitting room.

“Oh my gosh, Paris, I can't believe you're really getting married. You look… gorgeous.”

When I looked at myself in the mirror, I almost held back my tears and gasped for air when I realized how beautiful it was. The balloon-style gown with a v-line neck and mesh shoulders that are a bit puffed suited me very well.

Napakaganda noon. If only this was a wedding with the man I love, siguradong wala na akong mas isasaya pa.

But… oh right, the man I love is in love with someone else.

“Do you like that one already, Ma'am? It looks perfect. If you want, we can even add a few modifications for you,” the designer said.

Gaya ng sa singsing, hindi ko sigurado kung dapat ko na bang piliin ito. It surely looks great.

I breathed heavily and ran my fingers at the details of the gown. Even though I surely won't be as happy as I should at that wedding, I want to at least look great.

“Y-Yeah. I like this. You don't have to modify anything,” I said, which she immediately obeyed.

Ilang minuto ko pa iyong sinubukan bago ko tuluyang pinabayaran. Chester strictly instructed that he'll pay for them kaya hindi na ako nakialam. Besides, it costed a fortune. And I don't want to make that dent on my father's money. I don't want to owe him anything.

“Oh my gosh, the invitations are already out. Did you know this, Paris?” Claire asked while we were eating at a resto-bar nearby.

My brows furrowed, especially when she showed me the invitation to my wedding from her parents. Surely, sina Dad ang nagpakalat niyan since they were the ones eager to wed us.

“No. Ni hindi ko pa nga iyan nakikita,” I said as a matter of fact.

“It’s also all over the media and tabloids. News spreads really fast,” Markus said and he browsed his tab. “The date’s also final. Nakita mo man lang ba ang mga preparations? Don’t you want to revise or modify anything?”

“Modifying would pause the wedding. I want it to happen as soon as possible.” I breathed heavily and continued scrolling down through his tab. Funny how the news spread quickly like wildfire. Different opinions, thoughts, and speculations were immediately speculated. Hindi na nga ako nagulat nang nakabit ang pangalan ni Markus.

An article that says that the reason why my engagement with Markus ended was because I was cheating with Chester. Pero siyempre, kaagad iyong pinabulaanan ng ibang artikulong nagsasabing dahil ito sa gender ni Markus.

Funny how we weren’t influencers or even artists, we were just the taste of the tabloids due to our careers and life status.

“Oh? Akala ko ba hindi mo gustong magpakasal sa kanya? Bakit parang ikaw ngayon ang atat na atat?” natatawang tanong ni Claire.

I stopped scrolling and badly want to glare at her, but I stopped myself from doing so. Kung alam niya lang, labag din naman ito sa kalooban ko. But I guess I am desperate enough to perform desperate measurements.

“Sino ba namang hihindi pa sa kasal kung ang kapalit ay ang pag-alis ko sa puder ng Daddy?” I asked them. “A life with a total, yet busy stranger is better than living with my dad.”

“Is that what he told you?” Markus asked. “How sure are you na hindi makikialam ang Daddy mo? And gosh, what if this man mistreated you?!” 

My lips parted at it. He’s right, I barely even know Chester. But even though how much he looks rude and ruthless, I hope that he’s not that kind of guy.

Because if he is…

“I will… annul the marriage. In fact, I plan to do so after a few years. I just need my father to get off my back.”

“You plan to annul him? In… h-how many years? Usapan niyo ba ito?” Claire asked like she was panicking or something. My brows furrowed at her reaction. Pero sa halip na intindihin iyon, I just continued running through the tabloids.

“No. I don’t plan to tell him either. I will just buy time and save money to do so. And then I will annul him.”

There’s no reason to stay when I got my life together, right? There’s no reason for me to use him anymore. 

“So you’re going to use him, and then dump him afterward just like that?” Napatigil ako nang biglang tumaas ang boses ni Claire. “I mean… I can’t believe you’d use him like that and then dump him like a useless man.”

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, Claire,” I said. Pero bumuntong hininga lang siya at umiiling na nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.

Why is she that disappointed? Alam naman niya ang pinagdadaanan ko, ah? Why is she suddenly acting this way?

“Why are you acting that way? It’s normal for rich people to annul. Surely, iyon din ang plano ni Chester,” Markus said as he glanced at Claire dahil siguradong gaya ko, nagtataka na rin siya. “Lalo pa’t may bali-balitang may girlfriend siyang designer…” Markus trailed off as he looked at Claire.

My brows furrowed at it. Claire then looked at Markus… no… she glared at him like shutting him up for a certain reason. Or was it just what it looks to me?

“I’m not sure, tho. I’m still looking into it,” Markus said.

However, instead of listening to him, I locked my eyes on his tablet again, unexpectedly seeing an article.

‘Chester Del Fuego, unexpectedly marrying Paris Felicity Rivera days after seeing him with alleged fashion designer girlfriend’

‘Chester Del Fuego, publicly announcing marriage with the Rivera heiress after not updating his relationship status with a long-term girlfriend.’

Chester Del Fuego had a girlfriend. That’s for sure. And somehow… having this conversation with my friends made me suspect.

“Anyway, m-magtatagal pa ba tayo? I have a flight tomorrow to Singapore,” Claire said.