Hospital Trip

My body is screaming to stay away, but my heart needs him, needs his arms wrapped around me, showing me it is okay. He looks at me, not saying a word. I feel like what happened is the real him. If it is, I can’t give him what he wants, and he would be better off without me.

“Please don’t leave. I am sorry I went too far.” His plea is filled with hurt and despair at the thought that I am going to leave.

“I’m not leaving.” My voice is just a whisper, hardly there at all.

“Come and sit, please.” He reaches out his hand, but I shake my head, unable to move closer to him.

“This is my fault. I know it is. I should have stopped you before it got that far. I thought I could handle it, and I kept putting it off. I was wrong, and I am sorry. The safe word is there to stop this from happening. I wanted to try to fix you, and in the process, I broke myself.” My words come out in a rush; my apology for being stupid and not saying ‘stop’ when I needed to, is pitiful.

He did nothing wrong. He did wh