Blocked Pleasure

Standing up, I start stripping. I grab the blindfold and put it on, then stand here naked in the corner, waiting. My heart is pounding in my chest, the sound of a drum counting down the seconds for me.

“What do you want, Alena?” His voice is quiet. He isn’t his usual self. Typically, when he asks that, he has humour there, knowing that he already knew what I needed.

“I want you, like before. I want you like we used to be, no pain, no worries.” I stand waiting for his reply.

“I am not sure that is a good idea. I hurt you, upset you and broke you. I saw your face, how much you hated yourself and me.”

“No, don’t think of it like that. If I say the safe word, will you stop Jackson?” I hear him moving closer to me as I ask.

“Yes, always, no matter what I am doing, I would stop.” Which I know, and that is why, last time, it was my fault.

“I promise, if you got too far, I will say it. I won’t hold it in. I won’t ignore the pain, the hurt. I will say it. I promise.” I know I will. After the l