My Mistake.

**WARNING** This chapter includes extremely sadistic material, including animal play, degrading, and humiliation. It shows why the BDSM lifestyle should be avoided when someone is not sound-minded.

He moves quickly, not even answering me. He has me flipped on my stomach instantly, his hands pulling me up from the bed. He lies me on the table, my stomach against it, my boobs hanging over the edge.

The table is small. He grabs my hands, pulling them behind my back. Still, as he does, he lifts my legs, tying my legs to my hands. I nearly cry instantly. He has gone straight for the things I hate, my hard list, one being hogtied. I hate the idea, and now here I am, in that same position. 

I want to scream ‘peach’, but I don’t, even though I already feel humiliated, even though only he can see me. I feel the blindfold covering my eyes. I am grateful he won’t be able to see my tears.

I feel the gag pushing into my mouth, then him putting the ball in my hand. I want to drop it. Maybe me breaking him wasn’t the right way?  Maybe he has to see me broken to snap out of the state he is in.  I wait and feel the hot wax dripping across my body, and I moan. I can do this for him. I just need to get past the thought of it being humiliating tied like this. His hand grips my hair, pulling it hard, and I moan at the pain.

“I’m going to keep going until you beg me to stop, you fucking whore.” His words shock me, the way he says them, not lovingly like he usually does, not in a way to turn me on. Instead, it makes me feel bad. I don’t know what to do. Should I drop the ball now, or wait? 

Jackson stands in front of me, his hand removing the gag, his cock pushing against my mouth. I willingly open it, and he pushes his cock inside my mouth, hard and quick, his hands pulling my hair harder, his grip getting tighter. “Let’s see how much you can gag before you’re sick.” He pushes his cock into my mouth, as far down as he can get it.

I am gagging, gasping for air. He groans loudly. The longer he leaves it, the more I feel like I will physically be sick. His hand slaps me across the face as he pushes deeper. He moans, hearing me gag before he pulls out, giving me a few seconds to breathe before continuing. His cock slams inside my mouth again, pushing as deep as he can go.

One hand grips my hair, and the other hand rubs my ass, his finger gently moving in and out of it. I can’t breathe again, gagging more and more. I feel like I am ready to throw up, then he pulls himself out again, his cock hitting my face, and then he pushes the gag back into my mouth.  I would have dropped the ball by now. I don’t know why I am keeping a hold of it; I want him to stop, I just can't do it. I never had problems with saying the safeword or using the safe signal before, but now I just can't.

He moves; this time I feel a toy enter my ass. He doesn’t move it. It sits there inside me.  His cock pushes into my pussy, I moan at the sensation of it as he starts moving harder and quicker. I would be enjoying it, but I can’t. The position feels so wrong. I feel violated. His hand still grips my hair too tight, pulling my head back, my scalp scolding me for the pain he is causing.

His hand moves, slapping down on my back, as his hips dive into me with a lot of force. I begin crying silently, still fighting to end it. I don’t want to end it if it is this that pulls him back, but if I go much further, I don’t think I can look at him again.

My mind can’t stop. I can’t enjoy anything, not a single bit. It all feels too bad. Relief washes through me as he stops, pulling his cock out of my sex before untying me from the position I hate so much. He pulls me to the floor, still with the butt plug in, and I feel something go onto my head, like a headband.  His hands wrap the collar around my neck, clicking the lead on.

I feel him tug and pull it, getting me to crawl.  I struggle with the butt plug-in, but I manage, forcing myself to move. I hear him taking pictures, and more humiliation floods through me. The feel of him standing over me, one leg on either side, makes me question what he is doing.

The mask slides up, and in front of my eyes is a picture of me crawling, with kitten ears on, a butt plug with what looks like a tail, and naked with a collar. I close my eyes. My body is shaking from repulsion. Just as he pulls the blindfold down, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stand the humiliation even though only he can see. I have no choice! He pulls me again, making me crawl.

I have a choice! Say the safe word! Drop the ball!

“I want you to purr like a cat, lower your head, and drink the milk from that bowl now.” I don’t move. My body has frozen. He pulls the lead, and I yelp and lower my head, drinking from the bowl like a pet. His whip swings down, hitting my ass, before he pulls me across the room. I hear a cage opening.

Unable to talk with the gag still in my mouth, I panic. He pulls the lead and I crawl forward, feeling myself entering the cage. “You will stay there ‘til I want you, not moving, not doing anything, still blindfolded and gagged.”

He walks out of the room, and I begin to cry more, shivering even though it isn’t cold. I want out. Right now, I feel like screaming, but I can’t. Even if the gag wasn’t in my mouth, I wouldn’t scream. I lie there in the cage, hearing the door open less than thirty seconds after he left. With the sound of him walking in, the cage opens, and he guides me out of it. I stop, keep lying on the floor, crying. I decide now I can't take any more, dropping the ball and giving up, not even sure if I want him near me or want him to touch me. He doesn’t realise straight away; he is walking around the room. I have no idea what he is doing.

“Fuck.” I hear him running towards me. He removes the butt plug, the gag and the blindfold. Looking at me, his face seems to crash. He tries to cuddle me, and I push him away, my hands fumbling at the collar to remove it.

I grab my dressing gown and walk out, locking myself in his saferoom, and putting the bolt in place to feel safer.