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Sink or Swim
Sink or Swim
Author: Leigh Harper

Kieran - Back to Concord

Author: Leigh Harper
last update Last Updated: 2026-01-08 03:41:56

The cab rolls down the street, my body rocking with each advance the car makes toward my family’s home. Three houses down, I spot the herd of family members waiting for me on the front lawn.

I spot my Nana first, waiting with his hands in his pockets to take my bags – and my life – inside. My Nani has her arm interlinked with his, the look on her face one I’ve never seen before. It scares me.

The taxi stops closer to the neighbors’ yard, giving me a moment longer to take in my family before facing them. Khala Willa and her husband are with my grandparents, and so are their sons. Mausi Aarna and her husband wait in the driveway, both of them looking anxious. Before the funeral, I hadn’t seen them in years.

The cab’s door is pulled open and a hand grabs my arm, pulling me out of the car and against a warm body. My grandmother is quick for her age. She presses my face into her chest, running her hand up and down my back in soothing motions. I wriggle out of her grip and my hand goes to forehead, rubbing at the spot that had been pressed to the cab window since we left the airport.

“Sorry,” Nani says, kissing my cheek. “How are you, devadoot? Have you eaten? Do you want to take a nap?” The words rush from her lips.

I shake my head, smiling at her. “Nani. One question at a time,” I say to her. “I’m fine,”

She gives me an incredulous look but doesn’t have the chance to ask questions as my Khala pulls me into her arms. She presses a kiss to the side of my head before passing me off to her husband.

After two months of living on my own, surviving on my own, it feels amazing to be surrounded by family. To feel the never ending love and support emanating from each of my family members.

Drew pulls me away from his father, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispers to me.

“Has it been that boring without me?”

He flicks my forehead. “Don’t get cocky,”

Nana, my Mausas and their sons are lugging my things into the house while Nani and Khala Willa try to get my attention from Drew. Mausa Aarna follows the men into the house.

“Kieran, are you hungry?” Khala asks.

I shake my head, but Nani answers for me. “Of course she is,” she says with a dismissive laugh.

I stay quiet as we make our way into the house. The scent of biryani and curries wafts from the kitchen. Nani pulls me through the entryway and places me into a seat at the table, in between Nana and Drew. The room is warm, bordering on hot, and I think about taking off my sweatshirt. That thought is quickly discarded.

As our grandmother starts dishing up, my cousin nudges my shoulder. I don’t look over but lean a little closer.

“Have you spoken to Lucas?” he asks me, his words hushed.

“I just got here,”

“Does he know you’re here yet?”

I shake my head.

“Have you guys been keeping in contact?”

I shake my head again. “He’s not the ‘keep in contact’ type. Not anymore,”

“Oh.” He seems disappointed. “I thought he might’ve reached out,”

So did I. “Nope,”

“Andrew, stop whispering,” his mother says from the sink. “The two of you can gossip later,”

Lunch consists of questions about my plans for the fall; whether or not I’ll be staying in Concord, where I’ll be attending college. I don’t answer anything, mostly because I have no say in the matter. All of that depends on Doctor Lassiter.

My Nana and Nani are quiet for the most part, only jumping in when Drew suggests that I stay with them in New York after the summer. Khala and her husband offer to be great hosts, but Nani doesn’t agree.

After lunch, I tell Nani that I’m going to take a nap but as soon as their backs are turned, I make my way out of the back door. Venturing into the yard, I make my way to the bench on the side of the house.

I’ve spent every summer in Concord for as long as I can remember. My favorite spot in the yard has always been on the side of the house where I have the best view of the lake on the other side. My Nana built this bench a few years ago and placed it right here so I could sit in the shade.

I love the sun. I always have. However, I can’t really sit in the sun with a sweatshirt without overheating, so the bench being in the shade is perfect.

Pulling my phone from my shorts’ pocket, I lay flat on my back and stare out at the water. Alexia hasn’t answered my text letting her know that I’ve made it safely, so I send a follow up asking if she’s still planning on coming before next weekend.

The purr of a bike’s engine, a sound I know a little too well, puts my head on a swivel. A big, black motorcycle rolls past our yard and stops in front of the house next door.

He got a new bike.

He pushes down the kickstand and pulls off his helmet, placing it on the back before hopping off. As he makes his way onto the lawn, I make three observations.

He cut his hair, curls nowhere to be seen.

He’s bigger than he was last summer.

He wears shorts now.

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  • Sink or Swim   Kieran - The Morning After

    I think this headache might be the death of me. Because the only medication is in the kitchen, I make my way down, trying my hardest not to wake up any family members who are still asleep. Though, that is a wasted effort, because it's sunday and everyone has already woken up and gotten to work on lunch preparations. Luckily for me, though, they’re all outside. I grab a Tylenol from the cabinet in the kitchen and then fill a glass with water. Laughter behind me scares the crap out of me and I nearly drop the glass. When I turn around, I find Drew sitting at the dining table, having breakfast. “You’re up late,” he says to me, clearly amused. “I know. Shush,” “How was your night?” “Good,” I tell him. If I’m honest, I have no idea what yesterday was. Thinking about it is giving me whiplash. I vaguely remember flirting with Luca, which…what the hell, Kieran? After I had food, though, I calmed down enough that I stopped asking suggestive questions and making stupid comments abou

  • Sink or Swim   Kieran - Where Yesterday Still Breathes

    I think this headache might be the death of me. Because the only medication is in the kitchen, I make my way down, trying my hardest not to wake up any family members who are still asleep. Though, that is a wasted effort, because it's sunday and everyone has already woken up and gotten to work on lunch preparations. Luckily for me, though, they’re all outside.I grab a Tylenol from the cabinet in the kitchen and then fill a glass with water. Laughter behind me scares the crap out of me and I nearly drop the glass. When I turn around, I find Drew sitting at the dining table, having breakfast.“You’re up late,” he says to me, clearly amused. “I know. Shush,”“How was your night?”“Good,” I tell him. If I’m honest, I have no idea what yesterday was. Thinking about it is giving me whiplash. I vaguely remember flirting with Luca, which…what the hell, Kieran? After I had food, though, I calmed down enough that I stopped asking suggestive questions and making stupid comments about him ta

  • Sink or Swim   Lucas - Tell Me When You're Sober

    Wide eyes and a flushed face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on Kieran’s face. She looked equal parts surprised and intrigued, which just boosted my ego. If that look is any indication, she might start seeing me the way I’ve always seen her. I push the thought out of my head as I get a t-shirt from my cupboard. I wonder what she’s doing here. Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s here and that she seems to want to hang out with me, but she doesn’t seem to be in a very good mood. “Luca?” she says from my desk, her voice quiet. I take a seat on my beed. “Yeah?” “I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to be honest with me,” “Okay,” She turns around then, facing me. “If I hadn’t figured out that Devon is cheating on Alexia, would you have told me?” “I don’t know,” She nods, clearly not satisfied with my answer. “Listen, I’m not okay with what Devon did. I don’t condone cheating,” I continue. “Alexia should break up with him, in my opinion, but no matter how

  • Sink or Swim   Kieran - Caught Off Guard

    I wake up on Saturday morning with newfound optimism. I’m not quite sure where it came from, but I decide to embrace it for the sake of my sanity. Since the summer started and I moved here, every day has been the same, the days starting to blend into each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I appreciate their love and support. I enjoy spending time with them, especially Drew. However, it would be nice if the friends I used to have would respond to the messages I’ve sent them. I’m not mad about it. I wouldn’t know what to say or how to act around me if I were them. Even so, I wouldn’t avoid a friend I’ve had for years for no reason. It’s okay, though, because I still have Lex. And Luca. Something happens to my stomach the second the image of Luca passes through my mind. That’s new. Not necessarily the feeling, but the person it is directed at. Luca and I are barely friends again and now my body is reacting to the mere thought of him? No. I get for the day, pushing all t

  • Sink or Swim   Kieran - Almost A Promise

    One especially infuriating thing about Kieran Darjee is that she thinks she knows every fucking thing. She thinks she knows exactly how I feel and what I think. If she’d bother to ask every once in a while, she’d know just how wrong she is.Disregarding however I might feel about her, why would I not want her to be at the celebration? She’s been my best friend since we were kids and we’ve always gone to the celebration together, so why would that change now? We’ve let bygones be bygones and are choosing to ignore the fact that we were estranged for two years, so ideally, nothing has changed between us. Or am I expecting too much?I shake my head. “It’s none of my business,”“What isn’t?”I release a sigh and shake my head again. If I tell her what I know, she’s going to tell her best friend about it, who is then going to break up with Devon, as she should. Devon will be pissed at me for airing out his business, though. And while I don’t agree with what he’s doing, I don’t think I coul

  • Sink or Swim   Lucas - When the Noise Doesn't Work

    I need this week to end.I feel like I’m suffocating, like someone is pressing their heavy as fuck shoe on my chest, keeping me from being able to take a proper breath.Anxiety crawls up my neck every fucking day and the only thing that’ll make it better right now is a drink. And the only place I can get shit faced without being scolded or berated for it is at Devon’s.After work on Thursday, I text him to find out of he’s home. He doesn’t text back, which either means that he isn’t home or that he’s already drunk in his backyard. I make my way over and hope that he’s not too drunk. I don’t want to have to drink alone.At Devon’s, I park my bike in the driveway and venture into the backyard with my helmet in hand. I hear the commotion before I make it past the driveway.There are at least twenty people in the backyard, littered around the swimming pool, crowded around the bonfire pit. I scan the crowd for Devon, who is standing in a corner making love eyes at a girl who is most defini

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