MasukNikolaiFour days, 19 hours, and twenty-two minutes…That’s how fucking long the yapping voices in my head have refused to quiet down.And that’s how long my brain had seemingly stopped working properly, choosing instead to constantly revolve around a certain bastard.This is what I hate about addiction: those little fucking sons of fucks called withdrawal symptoms that fuck you up.I’ve visited his apartment about seven times in a row.Again, I can’t just bypass withdrawal symptoms.I kept picking his stuff and adding it to my theme wall of display dedicated to him.After we had our first couple fight.Okay, fine. We weren’t yet a couple. But trust me, I’m working on it.Wait… I thought we were trying to get him off our system and not the other way around?“Fuckkkkkk.” I pulled hard on my hair, knowing that at this rate I might as well just go completely crazy.Clinton gave me a look that spelled what the fuck is wrong with you, man.“As much as I’d rather not even ask,” Clinton sigh
NathanielFor a second…I thought I was dreaming.Everything felt too close.Too warm.Too… real.His breath was right there, brushing against mine. His hand was on my wrist, his forehead almost touching mine, and my heart—My heart was beating way too fast for this to be normal.Or real.I didn’t move.Couldn’t move.Because if I did, it would break.Whatever this was.And for some stupid reason… I didn’t want it to.“If I kiss you right now…” his voice came, low, rough, too close, “are you going to stop me?”My breath caught.My mind went blank.Kiss?This was definitely a dream.Had to be.Because there was no way I was sitting here, letting him get this close, letting him say things like that, and not doing anything about it.Right?“Yeah…” he breathed. “That’s what I thought…”And then—His forehead rested against mine.That small contact—It snapped something.My eyes widened.This wasn’t a dream.This wasn’t a dream.“Oh—” I jerked back suddenly, my chair scraping harshly again
NikolaiFuck me sideways…Like I had to blink just to make sure that it wasn’t my fucked up and sick brain conjuring things up.Things like seeing my own pretty boy walking around in my room as he disposed of the things he used in tending to my wounds.I should probably thank my father for beating the shit out of me, because who knew that my pretty boy had such good hands.And so fucking caring and so fucking delicate.My body still fucking hurts like a bitch, but fuck me, it’s definitely all worth it, and I wouldn’t hesitate to even shoot myself in the chest if it means him taking good care of me.He turned around. “You will need some painkillers and something to lower your temperature.” He walked back to the bed.And I couldn’t even hide it, unable to take my eyes off him.“Here…” he stretched something out.Looking at his palm, he held some pills out for me.“Hell… no. I am not taking that.”I fucking hate medications.He raised an eyebrow, voice calm but firm. “You will take them,
Nathaniel I scrambled down on my feet beside him, pushing his head to rest on my lap….“Baby… baby….” He groaned, his lashes fluttering, eyes barely open.My chest tightened.“Hey, hey—don’t talk.” My voice came out sharper than I intended. My hands hovered for a second before I finally placed one against his cheek. He was cold. “Stay with me, alright? Just… stay awake.”His fingers twitched weakly against the floor before slowly dragging toward my shirt, clutching it like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.“Hurts…” he whispered, breath uneven. His eyes fluttered again……“I know.” I swallowed hard, forcing myself to stay calm. Panicking wouldn’t help him. “Where? Where are you hurt?”His lips parted, but no clear answer came—just a strained breath that made my stomach twist.Shit.I quickly scanned his body again, this time more carefully. The blood was dried and clung to his skin; there was too much of it. It stained his shirt, dark and spreading, but I couldn’t immediately
NathanielTyler nearly choked on his coffee for the third time straight in a row.“What the fuck? You mean all these things happened and you’re just telling me now?” And I couldn’t tell from his voice if he was angry or confused.“It’s a complete mess, Tyler, and I can’t even change him because I can’t come up with a valid reason.” Frustration edged my tone. “He’s a psychopath, Tyler, he fucking needs help.”And the way he stares at me, calling me baby or pretty boy, it makes me want to puke my guts out.“But… you said you weren’t gay… right?” He gave me a knowing look.“Of course I’m not gay.”“But you allowed him to kiss your neck and even sucked you off.” Tyler whispered, and in between I realized that he was enjoying this conversation instead of being concerned about me.“It was all chaos that night, and I was too stunned and scared for my life to have done anything.”“So you chose to allow him to have his way with you instead of fighting him off?” Tyler raised his brows. “Well, t
NathanielThe next day…I was on a call with my optician.“I’m sorry, Mr. Lockwood, but that’s the lowest price I can give you for your prescribed glasses.”“Are there any cheaper frame options?”$900….that’s a lot.“Unfortunately, no.”I chewed my inner cheeks.“Okay, I will get back to you, probably before the end of the day.”“Sure thing, Mr. Lockwood.”Ending the call, I sighed deeply, which was accompanied by a sharp headache at the back of my head.I really need new glasses, because continuing like this would only cause more damage to my eyes and ultimately more medical bills, which I can’t afford at this moment.After what happened yesterday, with my mother’s incident and all, I was surprised that I wasn’t called in by the school’s disciplinary committee, which for now is a great relief.And… also, I haven’t seen him.Again, I refuse to acknowledge his name or his presence in my life.And I need to tackle his situation.Reaching Professor Leo’s office, I made sure to knock this







