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50. Sadness and Regrets
CHAPTER FIFTY
I woke up in a white room with a very bright light. Muli akong pumikit, I can’t stand the brightness. When I already adjusted, tuluyan akong nagmulat. I looked around the room. It was all white. I am wearing a hospital gown. Mayroon pang nakakabit na IV fluid sa kamay ko.
Manang Lukreng was sleeping peacefully in the couch. Rainbow was also sleeping. Nasa may paanan ko siya.
Malinaw sa akin ang nangyari kung bakit ako nasa hospital room. I could remember every detail.
I tried to kill myself. I tried, I did not succeed. Is that supposed to be a good thing? Gusto kong umiyak muli pero wala na akong luha. I was feeling the numbness again. I don’t like that feeling. It’s suffocating me.
Dahan - dahan akong bumangon. Marahas kong tinanggal iyong IV fluid sa kamay ko. Nagdugo pa iyon. Sinikap kong hindi gumawa ng ingay nang makababa ak
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Slaved 51. Black Hole
CHAPTER FIRTY-ONE Wala akong ideya sa dapat kong maramdaman ngayon. One thing is for sure, Lolay was right. Kapag masamang damo, hindi madaling mamatay. I am like that. I just looked at the ceiling. I hate hospitals, but here I am. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras ang lumipas. I lost track of time. Pinauwi muna ni Rainbow si Manang. Of course, she protested. Hindi naman siya hinayaan ni Rainbow na magtagal sa hospital. That’s what I want too. Matanda na si Manang para mag-alala pa sa akin. “Reign, someone’s outside your room. Papasukin ko ba? Kilala mo raw siya?” biglang sabi ni Rainbow. “Gertrude Immaculate Concepcion. Gemma for short daw. She’s your doctor daw? May sakit ka ba?” I shook my head on her last question. I was clinically depressed but I don’t want my family to know that. I was still in denial. Yes, depression has no fac
Slaved 52. Justice for the Black Hole
CHAPTER FIRTY-TWO I have a lot of things to clarify. Ang daming mga bagay na hindi ko pa alam. One of these days, I have to face Satan’s tumor. I have to face Sioux Kyros Centauri. How come? Things have been confusing for me. Paanong nangyari iyon? If that was right, then, it was my fault that I was gullible enough to fall for his temptation. Damn it. I can’t really read Centauri’s mind. Ilang araw pa akong nanatili sa hospital bago ako na-discharge. Madalas dumalaw si Lolay. She ran for my errands. I was also monitored by Gemma. Ilang beses tumawag si Justise sa facetime. She even wanted to go back to the country, hindi ko lang siya hinayaan. “Wilcam bak, anak.” saad ni Manang matapos akong yakapin. Hinalikan niya ang pisngi ko. Naghanda siya ng fruitful lunch para sa akin. For the first time in my life, I was thankful I was surr
Slaved 53. The Theory of the Black Hole
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE I was still crying when I arrived in the hospital. Namamaga na iyong mata ko at halos hindi na ako makahinga. Kumuha ako ng suporta sa waiting room seat para hindi ako mabuwal. I was asked many questions by the personnel and I answered them as much as I can. Kahit wala ako sa sarili. Hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang tawagan si Dad o hindi. I ended up calling his number a few times, puro rings lang iyon. Napailing ako. Nanginginig akong tumawag sa landline sa bahay. Nobody answered the phone. “Fuck, fuck!” I whispered. They weren’t answering my calls. Tumingin ako sa paligid. My anxiety was getting worse. “Miss! Miss!” I called a nurse. Tumigil siya at humarap sa akin. She smiled. “Yes, ma’am? Do you need assistance po?” magalang niyang tanong. Huminga ako nang malalim. “Can y
Slaved 54. A New Friend
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR I woke up in an empty room the next day. I don’t know but I always wake up in a different room. Nakasuot ako ng hospital gown. Mayroon ding IV fluid na nakakabit sa kamay ko. I was definitely confined in a hospital. I could remember every detail. Huminga ako nang malalim. I felt the emptiness of the room. This is what I wanted. Deserve ko namang magdusa ng mag-isa. Ayokong tawagan si Daddy. Hindi ko alam ang magiging reaksiyon niya kapag nalaman niya ang ginawa ko. He would resent me for my choices. Ilang beses kong sinubukang bumangon bago ko nagawa. Hindi ko na naramdaman iyong sakit tiyan ko kagabi. It was too intense and too painful to endure. I grabbed a piece of paper in the table. May neat handwriting na nakasulat doon. Hi Reign,
Slaved 55. Ang Pangarap
Ilang araw akong nagtagal sa hospital. Araw - araw din akong binisita ni Gertrude Immaculate na Gemma for short. Binisita niya rin si Manang, and she was still in coma after the cardiac arrest. I received calls from Rainbow pero hindi kay Daddy. I was supposed to fly to Paris next week. Pero hanggang ngayon, hindi ko alam kung matutuloy pa ako. Hangga’t mayroong nasa sinapupunan ko, hindi ako makakaalis ng bansa. Nakaramdam na naman ako ng galit. Pero mas nangibabaw ang kagustuhan kong sumuka. Hindi na ako nakaabot sa bowl, sa floor pa lang, sumuka na ako. I felt my whole body weakened. I could not even move myself to stand. My energy was drained. “Reign?” It was Gemma. “Reign? Reign! What are you doing there? Are you okay?!” mabilis niya akong dinaluhan. “The little devil is winning.” I told her weakly.
Slaved 56. Truth in Sioux
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX Jianyu --- the Chinese guy and Sioux Kyros Centauri’s colleague was standing in the edge of big yacht looking at me. Hindi lang siya nag-iisa. There are more than ten men in there and they look equally dangerous as Centauri. I know they are also capable with dealing of illegal stuffs. Their presence is enough to make me somewhat nervous. Still, I held my head high. Hindi ako nagpatinag sa intimidating look nila. I already perfected my defense mechanism. Hindi ko alam kung anong kailangan nila sa akin. I just received an invitation from them. Unang tingin ko sa invitation, I knew it was them. They were behind it. May crest iyon ng same tattoo ni Sioux. It still triggers me every time I see that, I was reminded of what happened before. It doesn’t smell fancy. The paper reminded me the smell of blood, it made me shiver. Sioux was supposed to be with them, but h
Slaved 57. Real Villain
CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN Para akong binuhusan nang malamig na tubig. Nanlalamig ang buong katawan ko. I hated the man who took my virginity when I was eighteen, but the real villain was just lurking around the corner. Almost half of my life was a lie. From believing my Dad didn’t care for me and then, what happened that night. Oh my God. Sky. He was worse than I thought. How could he do that to me? I asked Sky. I asked him if the guy who raped me knew about it, he said yes. Pinaniwalaan ko siya. I believed him even if I should not. Mas lalo akong nakaramdam ng galit para kay Sky. He was the real villain all along. If Sioux didn’t know he was raping me that night, does that mean that my anger, the trauma and everything I felt were invalid? I was crying again. The old wound resurfaced and it is giving me another deep cut. I hailed a cab to go home. Balik hatid - sundo ako ng driver
Slaved 58. More than the Justice
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHTThings would get really ugly for me. Alam kong mas lalo nila akong ididiin sa bagay na iyon. Hindi ko iyon itinuturing na baho ko. I totally accepted it. Hindi lang ako proud sa ilang desisyon ko sa buhay.Sa Instagram nga, we only share for the happy memories, but we don’t let people see the bad ones. And it’s fine. We have to be careful on whom we share the deepest and darkest phase of our lives. Argh, why the hell do I sound angelic all of a sudden?I was still thinking about Sioux. I want him out of the prison. He’s still in the custody of NBI. He’s so epal. He’s so bobo. Pinangunahan niya ako sa desisyon ko. He’s not really thinking. I told the Chinese guy that I want him out. Mayabang lang niyang tinanong kung kailan ko gustong lumabas si Centauri.I was right. My vision was right. Things are not going to be in favor of me
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