No Battle to Win

They say that time heals all wounds but as the physical cuts and scrapes became nothing more than small scars, the hole in my heart just seemed to keep on getting bigger. Months went by and the hole became a deep pit and the pit became a huge, dark chasm.

I missed my mother from the moment I opened my eyes in the morning to the second my twisted subconscious drifted off to sleep at night.

It was coming up to my sixteenth birthday and my father had spent the week trying his best to be a normal dad, excited to celebrate his daughters birthday.

On the Monday morning I woke up, slowly opened my eyes and for a brief second, I didn’t remember anything, but all to quickly my brain was flooding with the overwhelming longing for her to burst into my room and open the curtains wide. “Good morning Princess” she would say. What I wouldn’t give to hear her her overly chirpy, morning voice just one more time.

Instead I woke up alone, got myself dressed, headed down to an empty kitchen, had breakfast by myself, and headed out the front door. As I opened the door I was greeted by Lexi, she was holding a giant cream envelope with my name written in very fancy italics on the front.

“Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to youuu, Happy Birthday toooo youuuu” with a voice like wailing cats, Lexi’s confidence was seriously misplaced, but it made me smile nonetheless, which was no mean feat at the moment.

“Thank you Lex, what have you got for me there?”

“It’s from all of us at Clarence Co. Happy Birthday lovely! You’re going to need it when you hear what I have to say after this..”

The thousand watt smile faded from Lexi’s face and I knew it was going to be bad news..

“Lex.. just tell me please.. what’s going on? What do you know that I don’t..”

“Well,” she looked so nervous, “your dad thinks, for your recovery, I think he needs it too, but it’s going to be great, could really do you both the world of good. He’s had such a horrific time, he’s not himself and I think he, I-I-I mean it could be good for you both, you both need a break from it all..”

“Lex! Spit it out!”

“He’s moving you out to Fellside.”

“HE’S WHAT!?”

“Today…”

*** At my Dads Office ***

*WHERE IS HE!” I barked at my dads receptionist before the lift doors had even fully opened. I marched forward making sure to stomp louder than necessary, just to show how pissed off I really was.

“I’m sorry, Mr Clarence is in a meeting Anna, you’ll just have to wait out here..” but before secretary number 5 could finish I was thundering into his office.

“YOU’RE MOVING US TO FELLSIDE!?!” I couldn’t contain my rage a moment longer! How dare he rip me away from our home, from the home he shared with Mum? The friends I had spent my entire life with? My school?

“Anna. Now is not the time.”

“IT’S A BLOODY RETIREMENT COMMUNITY!” There was no way I was going to let him downplay this one. No, I will have the last word!

“ANNA. Go and sit outside and wait for me to finish up in here.”

“No way, you can’t do this to me! I am not…”

“NOW!”

Damn, I’d done it now, he shouted, he never shouts.. he usually just gets all stern and stares like he’s going to rip my head off or something.. but he has never shouted at me.. oh..

“Fine.”

I knew I was pushing it now but i couldn’t help myself, I was so mad!!

*** In the office waiting room***

I made my way back to the waiting area, avoiding eye contact with secretary number 5, or was it 6? Why did she have to look so smug? It wasn’t like she was a permanent fixture around here, she would be gone within the month of this was her idea of a professional workplace attitude!

After what felt like hours but was really only a few minutes, the door to my Dads office opened and I could hear him making apologies for his daughters outburst. “She’s recently lost her mother and is having a very traumatic time, I can assure you gentlemen it won’t happen again, and rest assured I will be getting her the help she needs to rest and recover, thank you for your understanding and my receptionist Sheila will be in touch to reschedule.”

Ahh, so that’s what she was called..

uh oh.. here he comes.. he didn’t look angry.. he looked sad.. oh no, that’s worse than angry, at least it’s a different emotion to the sadness he had plastered to his features for the last several months.

“Anna, let’s get a coffee, we need to talk about a few things.” Why was he so calm?

“Talk about a few things, that’s an understatement, you want too uproot my whole life and hold me prisoner in a retirement community for the one percent!”

“You might not understand now, but you will see one day that all I want is what’s best for you. I promise” I could tell by the resigned look in his eyes I wasn’t going to win this fight because there was no battle to win. His mind was made up.