She thought there was no problem but she was fully wrong because at the same time as she neglected to keep the man, she neglected to let her heart fall into it. Now, how will she weigh her mind and heart if she's against himself too? She thought of staying the man away but her heart said otherwise. It wants the man to stay with her.
***
Hope Quinn was diagnosed having a (DID) or Dissociative Identity Disorder. A rare condition in which two or more distinct identities, or personality states, are present and alternately take control of an individual. Some people describe this as an experience of possession. Everyone avoids her because of it. Alone in life and had no other dream but to lose her in the world. She was used to everything especially to alienating the people around her. She didn't want to hurt everyone in her surroundings and add more problems. But there was a man who did nothing but stay by her side even though she tried to stay away from him. The man said he wanted to help her, staying by her side and insisting on what he wanted until she could do nothing but let it go.
How long will she keep away from the man who keep insisting? And when she neglected to do what he wanted? Is love conquer at all in battle of life? Find out.
PROLOGUE
"B-But you promise me, you said you would never leave me --- You wouldn't hurt me --- That you wouldn't stay away. You said, you're always here next to me right?"
"Haha, are you kidding? Promises are meant to be broken ---"
"But you said you won't break it!" Theo stared at me coldy that made me gulped even more. Tears kept flowing down my cheeks. The pain kept spreading. in my chest. The bitterness is slowly coming back.
"Yeah, but didn't you also say that it depends on the person?" I seemed to be weakened by what he said. clenching my fist. I'm trying to stabilize my knees that are weak now.
"B--But didn't you also say, that you don't depend? It's up to you whether you destroy or want to leave ---"
"That's the point, I want to leave you. I'm so sick of you. I can't live with you anymore, can you hear? I want to stay away so I'm leaving and I'm leaving you!" I became increasingly weak especially when he passed me. I sobbed and slowly turned to him, I thought he would at least turn around. But no, he left completely. The man I love has left me.
"T-Theo .." I can't believe, how did we end up like this? I fell to my feet and trembled to be held in my mouth. I shook my head, it's not true. He won't leave me. Maybe he has a reason, I know Theo. He's not like this. I strained and stepped my feet running where he passed but I saw nothing.
"Theo! T-Theo! Theo .. Don't be like this." I remember our happy memories. I can't give up now, not in this place. I close my eyes tightly and try to calm my system down. I feel the onslaught of my pain again. Happy memories was filled with darkness, laughter was replaced by suffering and the smile was replaced by strange sadness.
"T-Theo, don't stay away please. Don't leave me, I need you. I can't fight if you're not by my side. I beg you my love. Don't be like this. You said, you will stay by my side and you will not walk away from me like the others. But what happened? Why did you stay away from me? Why did you leave me? Why --- When I already love you, when I already believe in you, when I'm used to your presence then you just leave me and stay away as if nothing happened? You even broke your promise. Why Theo? W-Why? Why!"
My heart was full of anguish and pain. I didn't know what to think, was it because of my condition? Or was it just because he really wanted to hurt me? And at that thought, I felt weak. I felt like I had lost my temper. My Life, little by little the negatives spread in my mind. It was like a deadly poison that slowly spread throughout my system. I closed my eyes tightly before holding my head. I turned my head to the right and to the left because of a strange pain.
Voices, and pains. ”Ahhhh! S-Stop! Stop!" I shouted, I tried to remove and stop them but nothing.
It just kept going until I could just feel the liquid dripping from my nose. I don't want to, that's enough. I don't want to! I don't want to feel it anymore! Stand up! Me and I struggle against the voices and the memories keep recurring, the bad memories of the past come back again.
"Argh! Stop! N-No! I hate it! Stop! S-Stop!" Little by little darkness covered my whole being! But I shouldn't give up now! I can fight it! I can! I clung to the railings that I could see before taking a deep breath and calming myself but if I could then because someone would guide me.
Someone is always there for me. There was only one person who stayed by my side. The man did not stay away but strengthened me. But the man also ruined everything. To destroy the resilience I feel. The man gave hope but that hope was still missed. He stay way and left me.
"T-Theo! Ahhhh! Stooop! Please!" I can not take the pain anymore.
That's enough, but the pain I'm feeling got worse. The voices grew louder and louder. The bad memories kept swirling around so much that I could do nothing but scream and faint forever. My grip gradually loosened as I backed away and stumbled over something. I don't know what's going on yet. The speed of events. I could feel the wind surrounding me and me falling hard into the water. In a river, I fell.
"Theo .. H-Help." I slowly sank.
I feel the still water. The loss of air, the constriction of my chest and the coverage of water in my whole system. I slowly woke up and at that time, I felt my end. I smiled bitterly, the tears I could hardly feel anymore.
This is what I wanted since then and from the beginning, death is the answer to everything. Answers to things I don't want to fight anymore. Run like I can't stand it anymore. Death, the death I have dreamed of ever since. But because of him, because of the man I love. I tried to fight, be strong and be survivor.
He was the light in my dark world. He gave me hope. Hope that also slowly disappearing right now because he left me and he is no longer beside me. He shunned me like everyone else. The closing of my eyelids was my complete disappearance from the world. But only the name of the man I love is on my mind and heart.
With my last breath I forced myself to say his name. "Theo Zenick Ares .."
I moaned softly when I felt heat on my skin, I slowly opened my eyes and sighed when I felt the light. I immediately stood up before slowly opening the curtain so that the intense light coming from the sun came out.I took a deep sigh before calm my self. "Hmm, it looks like Janna came out again."I look in the mirror too much, my eyes are swollen and my hair is messy. I also have a lot of rashes on my skin. There are a few that are still fresh and red. I shook my head and started walking to went to the bathroom.As I descended the stairs, a quiet dining area opened up to me. I felt myself before sighing. My body still lacked strength and seemed exhausted from the tears and the loss. "I'll just eat outside."I am just a wearing cap and loosened my bangs so my face was slightly blocked from the eyes. I also gripped the pocket of the jacket I was wearing. Why am I in such a state? let's just say I'm a dangerous perso
"Fucking shit! Get me out of here! Damn it!""The noise.." I whimpered before opening my eyes."Fuck! Let me out of here!" My mouth dropped open before retreating slightly. What is this man doing here? I got up immediately before backing away from him."Who are you!?" Startled I said and looked at him in fear. He laughed before looking at me with a sigh. Like he couldn't believe in what I said, I was the one who was confused by his attitude."Are you kidding!? Let me out of here!""Why would I let you go — Why are you even tied up here!?""Ha! I can not believe this! Are you kidding me!?" He rubbed my eyes so my body trembled before taking a deep breath. He struggled with the tie while I was stunned. I remembered what happened but I failed. I don't remember anything.I was secretly distracted when he shouted at me. "Where's your courage now!? Let me out of here!"I
I stared at nothingness and ignored Devie. Another morning and another hope. Is that even true? I shook my head before took a deep sigh. I went to the bedroom and picked up one of my favorite books.'Hope! Why did you release that man!? Tsk.' I stopped reading before taking a deep breath. I slowly went down the stairs and went to the living room."Devie, the noise is your noise. I'm reading so." She had been talking to me before, I was irritated but I could do nothing but be calm.I will not let her come out again. It’s hard when it’s Devie coming out, she does things that are very dangerous. I don’t even know what she did to Theo and why it was tied up when I woke up last time.'I will not stop! I'll annoy you more! Take care of that! I'll be out again! I still want to go out.' I was caught in my head because of what she said."Calm down Hope.." I said slowly but softly.'Me too! I want to go
Dissociative identity disorder (DID) was formerly called multiple personality disorder. It is a mental illness that involves disruptions or breakdowns of memory, awareness, identity and/or perception. The condition is further explained. And that’s what always happens to me, no matter how hard I try to remember what my other personalities have accomplished I can’t.When I woke up, Theo hugged me while my head rested on his chest. I was touched by my hair, as if I could still feel his caress on it. I shook my head, what's happening to me? I gripped my cap tightly and opened the gate."What are you doing here again?!" Shocked, I said. Theo just shrugged in response."Well, it's already lunch..Can I join you?" I looked at him sharply before sighing. No matter how many times I asked him what I or Janna did, he didn't say anything. He always changed the subject."How can you share with me if I don't have food. Look, I'm just goin
While combing my hair I went downstairs, I woke up at noon because Devie and Janna didn't put me to sleep. They keep arguing, good and only minor. It’s hard when the two get serious, I can’t help it.I sighed. "Hmm.. Hmm... Hmm..." I was stunned to smell the fragrant food. My eyebrow knit. "I don't cook. I don't know how to cook either." I quickly walked to the kitchen and I was almost stunned by what I saw. What the heck!? What is he doing."Hey, you woke up at noon ah." In his sarcastic way, he said that. He even asked me to sit at the counter and I was shocked and complied.I blinked before drinking the water. Who wouldn't be surprised at him? He was wearing no top—He's shirtless for goodness sake! And only an apron covering his front. I followed Theo's movements, he was obviously very good at cooking. Not like me, I don't even know how to fry—Even the frozen foods."What are you doing her
Sometimes, crying is the only way your eyes speak when your mouth just can’t explain how broken your heart is. I closed my phone and lay on bed. I looked up before sighing.Devie came out again earlier, it's a good thing Theo didn't come today because something bad might happen to him and I might have another problem. Fortunately, I hid all the locks in the house so that Devie could not get out. It's hard, it's good to be prepared.I lay for a few seconds while just staring at where. Nothing enters my mind. I can’t think of things I should think about. I read a journal earlier— Article for responsibilities and obligations as a person for others.Life is colorful when you have a problem to face and you have a solution to do. Acting to fill tasks and obligations that must be maintained. Responsibilities to follow and dreams to reach. Activities that give meaning to a person’s life, like a color in a book. Signs and lessons to be improved.
"What the.. I don't want to, I won't do it." But when did Theo follow me? I don't know, it's not really the case."Hurry up, don't wore it." I shook my head."You take care of that, I'm not going.""Damn, let's go." He said as if compelled. Stunned, I followed him, bending down as I followed him until we came to an abandoned place.He quietly removed the cover of a car, a motor. I was amazed because of its luster and I can see that he take care of it because you can't see any dirt or scratches.The color of the motor is black and neon which makes it even more beautiful and awesome —eye catcher too. "Hope, meet my bestfriend.. Neo.""Does he have a name?" I whispered while still looking at his motor in amazement. He smiled and nodded and imitated me to touch his motor."Hmm, you'll see. I take good care of my motor. I love Neo more than my life."
"Hey, cheer up!" I said softly to him.We were still walking here above the bridge. There were also people walking like us and happily bonding. Mostly lovers. It was nice when we were passing by now, there were many lanterns shining around.Candles of different colors as the flow of the river below makes our hearing more beautiful and calming. I looked at the one next to me, I don't know where we are going.I can't ask him because he is in deep thought. Secret, I gasped. He still seems to be thinking about what happened earlier."Where are we going Theo?" I said softly as I watched our path. Finally, I got his attention."Hmm?" I imitated him as well."What 'hmm?" His smile slipped on his lips so I didn't feel like it, he really wanted to like me when I was pissed."You're cute.""I'm not cute.""So adorable too, can you