02

Have you been in a situation where you want to fall in love with someone but you also refrain yourself from falling? 

Given the situation now, where cheating is normalised and settling with a no label relationship is okay, when people don’t look forward to getting married is something I’m scared to risk for. 

I don’t like spending time with someone that I wasn’t sure about. I always crave for progress, whether it's a career or love. I want something that I have to look forward to.

I haven’t had any relationship because my parents didn't allow me way back when I was just a student, they just allowed me right after I graduated college, but then ever since I graduated, I’ve been used to refusing people who tried to pursue me. 

I hid the paper on my back, Benj was busy eating now. He just wanted to celebrate with me because his first operation was successful. After a few hours he had to go for his duty again. 

“Taray sumakses ka na pala.” pang-aasar ko ngunit parang wala naman siyang pake.

“Dapat nga lechon ‘to.” 

“Next time, basta ikaw may sagot. Every successful operations, may palechon ka.” pangguguyo niya. 

“Leche ka.” 

Kinabukasan ay binasa ko ang mga coffee recommendation ni Samuel, naka-online na siya agad sa viber pero hindi naman ako nag-chat. 

Napansin ko na walang milk ang nandoon, hindi kaya lactose intolerant siya? Kaya ba after class ay nadadaan ko siya na papuntang comfort room? 

Maaga akong pumasok para gumawa ng thesis, nadatnan ko si Samuel na nasa silid na. Anong oras kaya siya pumupuna? Lagi siyang unang nadadatnan ko. 

Binigay ko ang coffee niya, this time espresso shot with orange ang binigay ko sa kaniya. Pasalamat siya at may orange kami sa bahay. 

“Afternoon, should I guess? Have you read my recommendations already?” Tumango ako sa kaniya at binuksan ang laptop ko.

“Does it taste good?” I curiously asked when I saw him sipped after he shake the cup. 

“Tasted… pretty decent,” he commented. 

I put on earphones to play some music while doing my thesis. My productivity level becomes high when I’m listening to music but still at a low volume. 

“Who was that yesternight? Was it your boyfriend?” rinig kong tanong niya, mukhang hindi niya napansin na naka earphones ako dahil nakalugay ang buhok ko. 

Hindi ko siya sinagot, ramdam ko ang paglingon niya. Dapat ko bang sagutin, magmaang-maangan nalang ba ako na hindi ko siya narinig? 

“Nevermind. I hope he won’t get mad upon knowing you made me coffee.” 

Ang kulit, sabing wala naman, tyaka may kasalanan naman ako sa kaniya, binabayaran ko lang. 

Maagang natapos ang klase, ang lahat ay nagmamadali ng lumabas samantalang siya ay nakaupo pa rin. 

“Do you have something to do?” he asked, I shocked my head. 

“Why?” 

“I want to invite you to the grand opening of our Bar,” he looked shy about it. 

“Wow, another business venture?” He nodded. Hmm.. I don’t feel like going to that kind of place and I don’t feel like refusing his invitation either. 

“Yeah, along with friends too. You know, you also should have a product demo of your liquid syrups with our bartenders there. Do you want me to schedule a meeting with them?”

Nagulat naman ako, parang bago iyon sa pandinig ko. Usually we were the ones who set the schedule for a product demo with our clients.

“Okay sure, I’ll follow you along the way, regarding the product demo, I have to inform our field sales incharge.” 

Mabilis ang naging byahe dahil hindi na kami naabutan ng rush hour. Hinintay ako ni Samuel makababa ng sasakyan at sabay kaming pumasok. Nasa labas palang ako ay rinig ko na ang ingay sa loob. 

The bar's concept design blends retro aesthetics with a modern landscape. Red serves as the primary color, creating a bold and vibrant atmosphere. Scattered throughout the space are small crystal ball lights, adding a nostalgic touch that enhances the retro vibe within the contemporary setting.

Maraming bumati sa kaniya papasok at nagkahiwalay kami. Gumilid ako at nanatili sa counter ng bar. Mukhang hindi na ako napansin ni Samuel na hindi na ako nakasunod sa kaniya. 

Naramdaman ko ang vibration ng cellphone ko sa bulsa ng pants. Message ni Samuel sa viber ang bumungad. 

Samuel

Where are you? 

Danica

At the bar counter

Nagtingin-tingin ako sa paligid para makita siya, pero dahil sa mga ilaw ay nahihirapan akong makita siya. 

“There you are.” pawis na pawis siyang pumunta sa gawi ko. “Sorry, I left you here.” 

“No problem. Where can I stay?” I asked but he asked one of his staff. 

“Let’s go to the second floor.” 

Sinundan ko siya papuntang second floor, napadpad kami sa isang maliit na open room. Tanaw sa baba ang baba ng bar. 

Nakaarko ang design ng glass door, habang ang aming gilid ay red at brown na blocks ang nagmistulang desenyo ng maliit na silid. Sinamahan pa na red rin ang leather couch sa magkabilang gilid at isang mahabang glass table na kasing baba lang ng inuupan namin. 

“Are you okay here?”

“Yes, it feels nice. You can leave me here. Thank you.” 

“I’m staying.” 

“Sure ka?”

Tumango lang siya sa akin at nag-order sa telecom. Mukhang busy siya pero bakit kailangan niya magstay pa dito? 

“Is this your first time going to this kind of place?” I chuckled. 

“Why? Was it too obvious?” 

“You seemed confused earlier.” 

Mas natawa ako lalo, masyado na pala akong naignorante sa mga bagay-bagay pati mismong pagpunta sa bar ay naninibago ako na dapat ay hindi dahil kasama ito sa target market ng company. 

“Hindi naman kasi talaga ako pumupunta sa ganto, kahit may mag-aya man tinatanggihan ko. Mas gusto ko pang matulog.” 

“But you went here, ganoon ba ako kalakas sayo?” biro niya. 

“Siguro kung hindi ka namin client, hindi ako sasama.” tumaas ang kilay niya. 

“Really? Ouch. I thought we’re friends.” pagdadrama niya, may pahawak pa siya sa kaniyang dibdib. 

Dumating na ang order namin, puro pagkain naman ang dumating, iisang bote lang ng wine ang nasa amin. 

“Akala ko serious type of person ka, ganito ka pala or nakainom ka na?” tinawanan niya lang ako habang binubuksan ang bote ng wine. 

“I drank a bit but I wasn’t drunk. Why, what type of a person I am, you've seen just now.”

Habang isinasalin niya ang wine sa baso namin ay napapaisip ako sa mga inaakto niya ngayon. 

“You seem a bit childish, asking random questions that you don’t usually ask.” 

“Hmm, I feel like I still haven’t yet shown my weird side. I still didn’t ask you more random things.” 

“Such?” 

“What was your favorite number on your aircon? Mine is 20, just the right temperature.” halos madura ko ang iniinom ko sa tanong niya. 

“Really, that was the weirdier question?” 

“Why, what weirder question do you expect?” 

“Such as how much your body counts, how many boys have you kissed? Those things.” He nodded, as if he just had new information. 

“Well, I’m only interested in wholesome conversation, Ms. Danica.” He said it with a teasing glint in his eyes, his voice low and playful. “I might kiss you if the conversation leads to that. But I suppose you wouldn’t want that—especially if you have a boyfriend.” 

My brows shot up in surprise. “Seriously, Mr. Samuel? For your information, that was my friend Benj.”

His smile softened slightly, but he didn’t back down. “I still prefer wholesome conversation.”

“I am too,” I replied

Nakakabinging katahimikan ang bumalot sa aming dalawa, tumayo ako at tiningnan ang dancefloor ng club. Naramdaman ko ang pagtayo niya at pagtabi sa gilid ko. 

Hindi gaanong malakas ang music sa gawi namin dahil may harang na glass ang second floor. Napatingin ako kay Samuel na sumisimsim sa kaniyang wine. 

“Have you had a relationship, Sam?” 

The question hung between us for a moment. His eyes softened, and for the first time, I saw something behind his usual playful exterior. He didn’t immediately answer, as if weighing my words.

“Ofcourse.” 

“What does it feel like? How do you differentiate the love from your family to your special someone?” 

Sumimsim siya muli sa kanyang wine, hindi ako sinagot. 

“You haven’t had a relationship before?” 

“Obvious naman kaya nagtatanong ako.” natahimik siya, siguro napapaisip siya sa sinasabi ko. 

“I think love for family is just… pure. It’s a different kind of support, you know? With someone you love, romantically, it’s more than that. It’s about wanting them, craving them… There’s attraction and intimacy that you don’t get with family.”

I felt the weight of his words, and as I looked at him, I realized he wasn’t just answering my question. He was opening up to me, in a way he hadn’t before

“Do you miss her now?” 

I couldn’t help to ask that, I was so curious about the life that he has been, I don’t know why, but I want to know more about him. 

He filled his glasses of wine again and immediately drank it. 

“I didn’t miss her,” he said finally, his voice soft but sure. “I just missed the experience.”

There was something about the way he said it—so calm, but there was an edge to his words that hinted at regret, or maybe longing. 

“Such?--” 

Before I could react, I saw the shift in his eyes, and then his lips were on mine.

The kiss was sudden, but it felt like a moment that had been building up in the quiet spaces between us. It was gentle at first, a tentative brush of his lips against mine, as if he were testing the waters. My heart raced, unsure of whether I should pull away or let myself sink deeper into the moment.

But I didn’t pull away. I leaned in, closing the gap, and kissed him back, allowing the world around us to fade away. The warmth of his hand on the back of my neck, the way his body leaned closer to mine, it all felt so right. The kiss deepened, slow and deliberate, as if we were both savoring the moment. 

“I told you, I prefer wholesome conversation.” he said, slightly pulling away. I could still taste the warmth of his lips on mine. I didn’t want the moment to end.

Without thinking, I closed the space between us, my hand reaching up to his jaw, pulling him back toward me. I kissed him again, this time with more certainty. The kiss was different now—deeper, more urgent, as if the quiet tension had finally erupted into something neither of us could ignore.

“Work again and again.” Reklamo ko agad pagkapasok ko sa office, wala pang tao at ako palang, binuksan ko ang office computer ko at nagsimula ng magwork. 

Halos ayaw ko magbukas ng viber, ayaw ko makita ang mensahe ron,  kinakabahan ako sa magiging kahihinatnan dahil sa nangyari sa kagabi. 

Bakit ko ba ginawa yun? Ano bang pumasok sa kokote ko at pumangalawa ka pa. 

Pumunta si Ms. Sarah para kumuha ng samples ng mga liquid syrups, bigla akong kinabahan. Kiliyente niya mismo pa naman si Samuel at ayaw ko munang makipag-associate sa kaniya. 

Iniisip ko na kung paano ko iiwasan si Samuel, paniguradong hindi ko siya maiiwasan dahil magkaklase kami. Magdrop out nalang kaya ako? Kaso nakakahinayang yung pinag-ipunan ko na tuition f*e.

Kung bakit pa naman nangyari ang gano’n talaga. 

Umalis na ako pagkatapos ng nangyari kagabi, may mga lumapit pa na kaibigan niya at narinig kong tinanong kung sino pa ako. Panigurado naman hindi niya sasabihin, sino ba ako? Tartar niya lang ako sa kuko niya. 

Pagbukas ko pa ng messenger nakita ko pa ang message ni Kenneth, ang childhood friend kong mahilig mag-party, kung saan-saan din minsan napadpad itong babaeng ito. 

Kenneth

Sino kahalikan mo kagabi ha? Lasing ako pero kilala ko kaluluwa mo

Akala ko nasa ibang bansa ang baklitang ito, hindi ko siya ni-replay-an at gumawa nalang ako ng social media calendar. 

On viber: Samuel

Our f&b already invited your field sales for the product demo this coming Friday, do you want to come?

Anyway, are you okay? 

Wala naman akong gagawin do’n, paniguradong wala pa naman itong rebate program dahil isang branch pa lang an business concept na ito. 

“Sa tagal ko ng client ang flame corner, ngayon lang ako nakakain sa kanila. Nag-open sila ng bagong concept ngayon, bar naman.” kwento ni ma’am Sarah. 

“Really ma’am? Since when?” 

Hala ganap na ganap siya, parang walang nangyari.

“Kahapon lang, kausap ko ngayon si Sir Samuel. Nakausap mo na ba siya? Nagchat daw siya sayo sa viber.” 

“Ah oo, mga ngayon-ngayon lang, asking for pricelist.” kahit hindi naman pricelist yung sinabi. 

To Samuel

Yes, I’m good, thanks for asking. I might not come with the demo hehe

I was shocked when Samuel replied immediately

Samuel

Really? Have you checked your lips well? I tasted blood last night. Sorry