Chapter 1 - The pain's starting point

Christelle's POV

'You can do this, Christelle..'

I calm myself. Huminga ako ng malalim para mapakalma ang aking sarili dahil sobra talaga akong kinakabahan.

I'm here in front of my boyfriend's condo, It's our first anniversary, and I wanted to surprise him.

I don't know if I am feeling this feeling because I am too nervous to tell him that I am pregnant and we're having a baby or there's something else..

"Oh gad..! Ano ba itong iniisip ko?.."

I ignore that feeling and continue to enter Leonel's door, and I was surprise when a panty.. on the floor greeted me..

What the heck?!

I stormed to my boyfriend's room and there.. I saw him.. moaning.. on the top of my classmate. Sarap na sarap ang kanyang hitsura, tila ninanamnam ang bawat oras ng pag iisa ng kanilang katawan.

"Oh my gad! What the hell is this, Leonel!?"

Nahulog ko ang dala-dala kong cake at nabitawan ang aking hawak na mga lobo, nagliparan ang mga ito sa loob ng kwarto ni Leonel at kasabay ng pagkasira ng cake na hawak-hawak ko dahil sa pagkahulog ay ang pagkasira din ng puso ko. Unti-unting nabasag ang aking puso sa aking nakikita, hindi ko matanggap. Ayaw tanggapin ng puso at isip ko na niloloko ako ng boyfriend ko na... na akala ko loyal at faithful saakin.

Ang sakit-sakit. Para akong kinakatay.

They both stopped after hearing my voice. They both turned to where I was, and I saw how  both of them were still panting, chasing their breath, but there's an annoyed look in their eyes. I can clearly see it with both of my eyes as they looked at me.

A-am I the disturbing them?

"Christelle." Tawag saakin ni Leonel ng tuluyan n'yang makita ang mukha ko.

He called me casually like he didn't do anything nasty and disgusting!

"Leonel.. w-what the h ll was this, l-love?.." kahit pa alam ko na ang kung anong nangyayari at mas pinili ko pa din mag tanong dahil baka nagkakamali lang ako.

My eyes are slowly building tears, I can't.  I can't move, I can't describe what I am feeling right now. Masyadong masakit, hindi kaya tanggapin ng aking sistema.

Sinusubukan at pinipilit kong wag umiyak pero hindi na kinaya ang aking mga mata at tuloy-tuloy itong tumulo, sunod-sunod at kasunod n'un ay ang aking sunod-sunod din na pag hikbi.

Oh my gad, my boyfriend's cheating on me?..

"I thought you're a dean's list. You can't tell what we are doing?!"

Sabrina, my classmate, Leonel's f ckmate, rolled her eyes while spitting those words. Sinasabi n'ya iyon na para bang ako na ang pinaka tanga'ng tao sa buong mundo dahil hindi ako makapaniwala sa nangyayari ngayon.

I wanted to slap her, I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to do everything to make her cry in front of me, but I couldn't stand that low! I can't do that, that's not a good.. thing.

"Leonel?.. baby.. I want to hear your ex—planation.."

My voice continued to crack while I was waiting for his explanation. Hindi pa din ako matigil sa pag hikbi, nahihirapan na din akong magsalita ng pakunti-kunti.

Hindi ako sinagot ni Leonel but instead gets up and picks his pants up, he wear it like it was a usual day and, like his girlfriend, didn't find out that he was cheating on her.

"What explanation do you still need? Can't you just see? I am f cking her." Diretsahang sagot nito saakin matapos n'yang suotin ang kanyang pants. He pointed Sabrina, who's now sitting on the bed. She has this disgusting smile.

"But I wanted to clear something too, so let's talk in private." Pormal n'yang sabi saakin at saka s'ya bumaling kay Sabrina. "Sab, can you please leave for a minute?.." Ang lambing lambing ng boses na ginamit n'ya kay Sabrina. Yung boses na akala ko para saakin lang.. ay hindi pala..

"Sure, baby.." matamis na ngiti n'yang sagot kay Leonel, tumayo s'ya habang balot ng kumot ang sarili at kitang-kita ng dalawa kong mga mata kung paano n'ya malambing na haplusin ang mukha ni Leonel bago ito tuluyang lumabas ng silid na 'yon.

Hinintay ni Leonel na tuluyang makalabas si Sabrina bago ito muking bumaling saakin

"Let's split. I am breaking up with you."

As soon as the bedroom's door closed, those are the words that he said. Seryosong-seryoso ang kanyang mukha at maging ang kanyang boses.

Napamulagta ako ng marinig ko iyon. Humarap ako sa kanya na habang namumuo ang aking mga luha at hindi makapaniwala sa kanyang sinabi. "W-what?.. why?.. don't do this.. I—I am willing to forgive you.." I tried to maintain my smile because my lips were trembling.

"I'm sorry?" Nakakaloko ang tono ng kanyang pagtatanong.  "I didn't ask for your forgiveness, Christelle. 'I am breaking up with you' is what I said."

He repeated those words like nothing.

"No.. just no.. please, Leonel.. don't.."

I begged. For the first time in my life, I beg to someone, but It's for my baby.

"I'm really sorry. I can't stay with you anymore, you are too.. boring and.. blant."

'You are too.. boring and.. blant.'

'You are too.. boring and.. blant.'

'You are too.. boring and.. blant.'

Those words repeated on my head like crazy but what makes me angry is that his sorry weren't sincere, It is just full of mockery.

"How can you say sorry if you're not really asking for it?! And boring? How can you say that after you enjoyed my body?" I snapped because of too much emotion that I am feeling right now.

He releases a mocking laugh, "Enjoy? Goodness! Hahahahaha! I didn't enjoy anything, Christelle. Ni wala nga akong sarap na naramdaman e." Nanunuya n'yang sagot saakin.

I don't know how, but my trembling palm flies to his face! Malakas ang naging tunog ng sampal ko na iyon sa kanya.

My eyes widen, oh gad! I hurt someone!

"A-are you o-okay?.. Oh my gad.. I am sorry.."

Nanginginig akong lumapit sa kanya at sinubukan kong hawakan ang kanyang mukha na aking sinampal pero hinawi niya ako na naging dahilan para matumba ako sa sahig. Naguuako at ang baby ko kaagad ang aking inalala, baka mapano ang anak ko!

"Ano ba?! Mag- ingat ka naman!" Sigaw ko sa kanya ng maisip ko kaagad na baka kung anong mangyari sa baby namin.

It was the first time I shouted at him and he looked shocked.

"Paano kung makunan ako?! Paano kung natumba ako ng malakas at mawala ang baby natin, sige nga?!" Galit kong dagdag dito.

His eyes went wide with his half open mouth. He looks shock and looks like he cannot believe what did I just said. After a few seconds, ay nakabawi na din siya.

"What?!" Marahas ang kanyang pagtatanong ng makabawi s'ya mula sa pagkakagulat n'ya.

Mabilis akong tumango, "Yes. I am pregnant, Leonel." Matapang at taas noo kong sagot

He shook his head multiple times na para bang hindi s'ya naniniwala before he pointed his room's door. "Leave." Madiin at seryoso n'yang utos saakin.

"W-what?.."

His word left me dumbfounded, and my eyes started to watered... again.

Did I just misheard him?..

"I said leave, Christelle."

His eyes are full of determination to make me leave. It pains me seeing how much he doesn't give a shit about me or our baby.

"Leave before I drag you out of my room. You're disturbing us." He added, his voice is full of finality.

"No.. n-no.. you can't do this.. I am pregnant, Leonel. Kailangan mo kaming panagutan, please.." Nanginginig at basag ang boses kong pakiusap sa kanya. "I-i am willing to—to.. forget everything that happened to—today.. just please.."

Putol putol ang aking salita dahil sunod sunod ang aking pag sinok kasabay ngpagtulo ng aking mga luha.

"Leave, Christelle." Pag uulit n'ya, malamig ang kanyang mga mata ngunit hindi nakatingin saakin.

"Pe—pero Leonel, buntis nga ako! Paano naman ang bata?.." Umiiyak kong muling pakiusap sa kanya.

"I said leave! Bingi ka ba?! And the hell I care about that kid?!" Napaatras ako dahil sa biglaang pagsigaw n'ya saakin.

He.. shouted at me.. he—he never did that before..

"And you're rich, right? Palakihin mo na lang mag-isa or.. abort it! I don't care! but remember this, I don't have any responsibility to you or even to that baby!" His words crushed me into pieces

My palm flew again to his face but this time I mean it. He wanted me to abort my baby! How can he?

"How dare you?! Ang kapal kapal ng mukha mo! Marunong kang bumayo pero 'di ka marunong umako ng responsibilidad mo?!" Galit na galit komg sigaw sa kanya habang patuloy ako sa pag luha. Hindi ako makapaniwalang sinasabi n'ya ang lahat ng 'to saakin!

"Lalaki ka ba talaga?!" Nang iinsulto kong tanong sa kanya pero mukhang wala s'yang pakialam talaga.

"You can say everything that you wanted but.. please leave. I want to rest." Mahinahong n'yang sabi saakin, hindi s'ya nakatingin saakin, lampas ang paningin n'ya at nasa likuran ko ito pero naka harap s'ya saakin at nakapamulsa.

I wipe my tears in my face using my hand before I catch his gaze and look straight across his eyes, my eyes is still in tears but I made sure that he can also the pain, anger, and determination in my eyes.

"Remember this day, Leonel,  the day that you asked me to leave. Ang araw na ipinagtabuyan mo kami.. Ipagdasal mo na kahit kailan hindi na tayo muling magkita.. dahil sa susunod na mag kita ulit tayo, ikaw naman ang magmamakaawa sa harapan ko." Seryoso at diretso kong binitawan ang mga salitang iyon habang nakatingin sa mga mata n'ya.

He should mark my words because next time I'll see him, I will do everything to shred him into pieces. I will make him pay and I will do everything just to see him kneel before me.

Saka ako lumabas ng  kwarto n'ya.

Nakita ko pa si Sabrina na nakangisi habang naka upo sa sofa bago ako tuluyang makalabas.

Kadiri.

Mark my words, Mir Leonel Alejandro. I will make you pay for what you did, the next time we see each other.