THE LUNA HE BURIED

The Harmon file was the last one on my desk and I was almost done with it.

Mild inflammation, shoulder joint, same pattern I'd seen three times this month. I wrote up the treatment notes without really thinking about it - the kind of task your hands do while your brain is already halfway out the door. It was six-fourteen. Eli's bedtime was seven. I had forty-six minutes if the traffic on the east corridor was clear.

"Same time Thursday," I told Harmon, without looking up. "And actually do the exercises this time. I'll know if you haven't."

He made a sound that was probably agreement and let himself out.

I capped my pen. Rolled my neck once. Reached for my bag.

That's when Petra knocked.

She had that specific knock - three times, slightly apologetic, which meant she had something that couldn't wait until morning but she felt bad about it. I'd learned to read her knuckles over three years of working together. I set my bag back down.

"Come in."

She pushed the door open just enough to slide a document folder through and place it on the edge of my desk. "Came through Lord Voss's office an hour ago," she said. "It's provisionally approved already. Just needs your acknowledgment before end of day."

"Thank you, Petra."

She gave me a small sympathetic look and pulled the door closed behind her. I didn't know what the look was for yet.

I finished the sentence I'd been writing in Harmon's file. Capped my pen again. Pulled the folder toward me.

Cross-territory medical assistance petition. Standard format, standard header, everything in the right place. I read it the way I read everything - top to bottom, efficient, already moving toward the signature line before I'd fully processed the content.

Then I hit the requesting party field.

Graves Pack.

I read it again.

Graves Pack.

The room didn't change. The lamp was still on. The faint hum of the facility's ventilation system was still doing what it always did. My pen was still in my hand, cap still off, and I was sitting completely still in a way I hadn't planned on sitting.

Graves Pack.

I put the pen down.

Okay. I let myself have about thirty seconds of just sitting with it, because thirty seconds was reasonable and anything longer wasn't. The petition was already provisionally approved. My name was already in the system as an assigned physician - I could see it right there, third line from the top, Dr. C. Venn, Voss Medical Division. Pulling out now meant filing a conflict of interest request, which meant explaining the conflict, which meant having a conversation I had spent five years making sure I would never have to have.

I picked up the pen.

What was the alternative, really. Go to Damien and say - what, exactly? That I knew the Graves Pack Alpha? That I used to be his? That I left pieces of myself in that territory and rebuilt everything else from nothing and I'd really prefer if someone else handled this one?

No. That wasn't something I was going to say.

I was Dr. Venn. I had a case to assess. The professional context would hold if I held it, and I was very good at holding things.

I signed the acknowledgement form, replaced it in the folder, and set it on the corner of my desk for Petra to collect in the morning.

Then I picked up my bag and left.

The residential wing was quiet when I got back. Later than I'd planned - closer to seven-thirty than seven, which meant Nadia had handled bath time and the whole pre-sleep routine without being asked. I could hear the specific quality of silence that meant Eli was already down. Not silence exactly, more like the held-breath feeling of a space that had recently contained a five-year-old and was still recovering.

Nadia was in the small kitchen, both hands wrapped around a mug, looking at her phone with the expression she made when something on social media had annoyed her.

She glanced up. "He went down easy. Had a lot of opinions about which pajamas were appropriate but we reached a compromise."

"Thank you."

"You look like you have work thoughts."

"I always have work thoughts."

She gave me the look that meant she knew I was deflecting but she'd let it go for now. That was one of the things I'd learned to rely on about Nadia - she knew when to push and when to file it for later. "There's soup on the stove. Eat something before you disappear into whatever you're thinking about."

I told her I would. She gathered her things, said goodnight, and slipped out the side door.

I stood in the kitchen for a minute. Then I turned off the stove light and walked down the short hallway to Eli's room.

The door was already open a crack, the little anchor-shaped nightlight doing its job in the corner. I pushed it open the rest of the way, quietly, and stood in the doorway.

He was on his side. One arm thrown out like he was trying to claim as much mattress as possible even in sleep, which was very him. Dark hair against the pillow - my hair, my coloring, the same slight wave that I'd given up fighting with years ago.

And then there were his eyes. Closed right now, obviously. But I knew what was underneath them.

Pale blue. Almost grey depending on the light. Distinctive the way some things are distinctive - the kind of detail that lodges in a person's memory whether they mean to keep it or not.

I'd spent five years learning not to see his father when I looked at my son. Most days I managed it fine. Most days Eli was just Eli - his laugh, his running commentary on literally everything, his absolute refusal to accept that broccoli was not optional.

Tonight I stood in the doorway and I saw the eyes even though they were closed.

Tomorrow I was driving into Graves Pack territory.

With Eli's existence in my back pocket like a secret I'd been carrying so long I'd almost stopped feeling the weight of it.

Almost.

I pulled his door to its usual position - not closed, not open, just that middle place he liked - and walked back down the hall.

I'd managed worse than this.

I sat with that thought while I reheated the soup and tried to believe it completely.

The petition was signed. My name was in the system.

Tomorrow I'd walk back into the one place I'd promised myself I'd never go again, carrying the greatest secret Ethan Graves had ever given me without knowing it.

He thought he'd buried me.

He had no idea what I'd grown into instead.