ZADEI failed again.I wasn’t there for her, I wasn’t fast enough, I didn't get to her before she was hurt. I should have been there before she killed that girl. I know how Ari feels about death. I have seen her pass out because she saw someone die in front of her. She has told me, or hinted really, that she has never killed.I wonder if she has ever killed anything other than small kills. She is the kind of wolf that seems to apologize before killing bunnies.“Where are you taking me?” she asks me restlessly, but I can detect the anxiety, the tiredness in her voice.I didn’t have any destination in mind, but now I want to take her somewhere far, somewhere she will feel safe.“Somewhere away from here,” is all I say before I glance at her. She doesn't seem satisfied or impressed by my response.“What makes you think I want to go anywhere with you?”“I know you don’t, that’s why I had to carry you and force you in this car, remember?” My attempt at humor falls flat when she looks at me
ZADEIs it the thing that made her look at me differently? Is that what I took the reason why she is looking at me with nothing but disinterest, disassociation, and blankness, which makes me want to scream at her to wake up and be normal?What is normal?The girl who was always screaming, smiling, and giving me anxious stares? The blush that would creep on her cheeks whenever I was close?Is that what I took, the thing that made her the girl that was crushing on me, even though I tried to ignore it and act like I didn't know? Even though it made me feel … something? Is that the norm I know with her?“I didn’t want to care about you,” I exhale tiredly, fingers tightening on the wheel. “io never say it reaching here. You were supposed to be just another girl who got rejected by me and then left or faded into the background.“But you had to be … you. I couldn’t ignore you, I couldn’t even escape your presence, didn’t matter how hard I tried. Yes, I was a jerk, and I know I have caused ha
ARIMy limbs are in pain.It’s a good kind of pain that is enough to block out what has happened and just enough to rouse me from passing out again.Zade is next to me, passed out, There is smoke coming from the car, which is jammed into the tree. With a groan, I push open the door and stumble out. The wounds I have sustained start closing and healing, the joints snapping back in place enough to make me gasp before I stand up.I don’t look back nor care about the boy I leave in the car as I start walking down the empty, moonlit long road. It's eerily silent, save for the birds and the distant howls that are heard occasionally.So I am still on the stupid island.Being with Zade as he talked my ear off helped to ignore the tension that is starting to creep in again. I don’t want to think much of tonight, so I do what I feel will help best. I start running needing to get out of this damned island and go somewhere that will guarantee that nothing will touch me or even make me remember.M
ARIWho were they? Who they were working for and what pack. All the things that can help me find closure.”He is silent, fingers tapping on the large mahogany desk, and he looks at me in deep thought. I cannot underestimate him. There is a reason he is a king alpha. After all, no one sits on that chair, has that title without doing something dirty and living in it until the dirt builds up as your second skin.As I know his son, he must be the worst wolf. He is not to be seen as thoughtless. Yes, he is kind to my mom and me, but that doesn’t mean he is that way across the board.After all, he left his son when he had just lost his mother and brother, wasn’t there for his mate- yes, I have done my research on why Zade loathes him.So the alpha king is heartless, cold, and ruthless as they come.“I can give you the file to go through if that is what you want.”I snap my head up to look at him. I never expected him to give mt the whole file, I was good with his word and that’s it.“I woul
ARIThere are perks of being close to the powerful.There are advantages of the alpha king being your mother’s mate. I have been living in a hotel suite, as I am taking time off from school for a few days to be grounded and see a doctor. Parker recommended me to.The deal was that I would be excused from the academy for a few days if I got to see the doctor and I took it. Anything to keep me away from the academy and from bumping into people I don’t wish to see. I am still avoiding my mother, too, even going as far as escaping through the emergency exit like I am doing now.Now that she knows my exact location and what I am doing, I was sure she would come looking for me. It took less than 24 hours before she showed up at my door, and now I am running away from her.Once I get to the basement, I get in my car and speed out of the parking and away from the hotel, anywhere that will make me forget about my existence for a while.I found this place while I was walking aimlessly, lost and
ZADEShe has been actively avoiding me.I am not mad that she left me in an almost burning car; that made me get even more turned on because she has the guts to do it and leave me for dead. The more she is cold and ruthless, the more I am getting addicted to her.The more I want.But then she wasn’t around. Not in school, not in class, not in her dorm; I couldn’t find her anywhere. She had blocked me out, too, from even feeling her.For three days, I have been anxious, looking everywhere for her, doing everything to get her location and when I find out she has been in this hotel, one of my father’s … I relax a little.I found out two hours ago, and nothing was keeping me away from her anymore. I have to clamp my tongue down to avoid asking her if she is okay and if she can let me in.Yes, I am standing right outside her door, and I can hear her getting back to sleep again before I send another text threatening to kick her door open if she doesn’t get out.I ache to see her, I want to
ARII can feel eyes on me. Undressing me, caressing my skin painfully so that I shiver and get goosebumps, feeling the phantom touch.He is suffocating me.I wanted to forget, stop thinking, and be distracted until I can't see anything when I close my eyes. He is a perfect distraction tonight.I know it’s a mistake, that I shouldn’t walk into such situations, but I am too far gone to care. I know that it won't mean anything for me other than as a distraction. He is the only person who is eliciting any form of reaction.A feeling I haven’t felt in a long, long time. It feels so good, I want to sink into it and this time, chase and fall into that sweet dark feeling, get high off it and forget whatever demons I am running away from.He is the only boy who makes me feel this way, maybe because he is my mate or whatever, but that doesn’t matter. I want to see if I can feel that way with someone else.I turn and grab the man who has been dancing closely to me and pull him down for a kiss. I
ARII shouldn’t.My body hits the back of the door, as his lips connect to mine again, his entire body pressing on me. Hands roving over clothes, trying to get a feel, skin … get enough but it's not. It's not enough.More.The kiss slows down, no, he slows down when his hands settle on my hips. His lips part from mine slowly, and the wet sound echoes around the hotel room as he looks at me with hooded eyes.He is about to talk. I am not here to talk, I don’t want him to talk to me, not now, not about this. I don’t want either one of us saying something that might break the spell, the bubble that we are in right now.So before he can utter another word, I lean forward and bite his lower lip, making him growl, before his fingers tighten around my waist, before they slowly slide down to my butt, squeezing me right as he kisses me open mouthed, his tongue dipping in my waiting mouth.A moan leaves my lips, shivering before I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer by his torso. I let
ARIZade is letting me take what I need from him, this time letting me have my way on my terms.It has been that way from the very beginning, but tonight, it's like he wants me to take care of myself using him and, in a way, take care of himself too, by using him.So when I guide him and press him on my opening, we both freeze, breathing heavily before I urge him with a pull of his hips to push inside me.And heavens, it feels delicious. The stretch, the feeling of him opening me up as my walls accommodate him until he is fully seated inside me …I contract, squeezing him, feeling the girth inside me and I want to swallow more of him, suck him in and keep him there … it’s a heady, good feeling.“Why won't you love me?” The hoarse whisper makes me open my eyes just as Zade looks at me. He is …crying?“What?” I ask, eyes wide.“Why did you say you can't love me?”“Because,” I shift, and we both groan. His hips jerk in response, and he starts moving slowly. He has forgotten about the que
ARIWhen the body is exposed to extreme cold, at some point, it stops supplying the less important parts with blood in order to save the vital organs.It has been quite similar to me. I have spent most of my life just functioning, and apparently it has been necessary for my body to cut off supplies to some of the things anyone my age would deem normal to have.There hasn’t been a case where I could feel anything other than flight and flight. But eventually, here I am.My body is thawing, slowly coming to life, and it feels so good.Zade’s tongue is slicking inside my mouth, seeking and touching every crevice inside. His body is pressed to mine to keep me up, one thigh pressed between my legs, one hand grabbing my butt, hips flushed.I am weak at my knees. I want him, I can feel him, and I am floating. I know I am kissing him, but I am also falling and falling, feeling safe that he will catch me.It’s a dam that has been let loose.He is mine. I shouldn’t feel this way. I should feel g
ZADE“But then it will be another, then another… if you can be swayed so easily, then is it even worth it?”“I wasn’t swayed easily. You and I know that there is more to us than a bond between mates.”“Hard to believe that when all that connects us is that.”“Our parents do connect us, too. Do you think we wouldn’t have crossed paths if we hadn’t been mates?”“We could have, but you would be intent on killing me or destroying my life like you did at the beginning.”“That’s true. But you can just chalk up my feelings and invalidate them, simplify them to one variable.”“It’s the only thing that is making sense. I mean, here I am, sitting in your love sanctuary, surrounded by your memories with her, and yet you are telling me it's me you want. What about her? Why was it so easy for you to just leave her?”“If you hadn't shown up, I already knew it would rather be her that I pretended with, cosplayed my inner wishful thinking even though it wasn’t true.”I close my eyes briefly before lo
ZADEThere is something dark, alluring, and compelling about Ari Silvers that I have never been able to fully comprehend.Her beauty and magnetism are not the traditional kind. It's raw, demands that you see her, revere her, and ache to be close to her, so you can bathe in it.She is beautiful in the traditional sense as well, but then you look again. And again, and again. You are drawn in, wanting, needing, desiring, and even wanting to corrupt.She is pure, she is dark, she is innocent, but also twisted. She is all that you wish you could hold and covet to yourself, but you cannot. For it is not to be held by others and coveted, stolen, but to be looked at, worshiped, and if you are good, to be bathed in.But never yours.She is sitting on the rooftop.I followed the feeling of our bond, and I am surprised, a little unsure why she would be here. This is where she fell, almost to her death after all.Her knees are pressed against her chest as she looks at the far distance, lost in wh
ZADEI stop behind one balding man, I think he is here because he is a legacy. Not the official family but still as important. I can see the sweat trickling down his neck into the stiff, tight suit he is wearing.If I wasn’t so sure before, now standing behind him as he reeks of fear … it's solid. My hand goes through his back, and I touch the organ that’s beating and warm in my palm.Gasps echo around, but no one says a word, as they look at me with horrified expressions, save for my father, of course.“This man,” I turn to Jude, “you missed this man.” My fingers close around the beating organ and pull my hand back. The body shakes, twitching before his head thumps on the table like a log. The scent of blood permeates the air, thickening it with the tension and fear pulsing in the room.I walk over to Jude and let the organ fall on his file, and he looks at it, eyes wide. I am sure he isn't breathing. After all, I just killed a legacy, and he has a lot of mess to clean up.And also,
ZADEWe are back to ignoring each other.Or to be more precise, Ari has gone back to hating my guts and ignoring my existence. And when she sees me, when our eyes meet, those first two seconds, time seems to slow down, and it's only us. The world fades away, and it's us, and I usually get this feeling in my chest, this heavy thing that is threatening to drown me, but in a sweet way.It's only us, as if we know something, just the two of us, and then the moment is snapped and broken, and she is back to scowling at me, rolling her eyes.But I know, those few seconds, where it is only us, when time stops and we only see each other, feel each other… that is the truth of us.She told me she wanted devotion and then proceeded to lock herself in the bedroom before she left early in the morning, even though we did spend the night together.I didn’t sleep, not when she was in the next room and I knew she wasn’t asleep either. I listened to her breathing, every turn and twist in the bed.I list
ARI“What's going on inside this little mind?” his voice is so close to me, nose brushing my temple.I should feel something. A tingle, but I am so damn tired. All I want is to sleep, forget that I exist for a few hours before I start going back to my life. I can't escape it anymore, now can I?“Nothing,” I sigh. “I am just a little sleepy.”Is he expecting more from me tonight?I wish I had the girls with me. They would allow me to be in your space. Maybe I should call them, text them, but I don't have my phone. I remember crashing it in the hotel suite before I walked out into the traffic.Maybe I am not as okay as I think. But getting a grip is important.If I am going to avenge and face the people who ruined me to begin with, I can't let go of the reality. I need to be focused and work hard to make sure they don’t destroy me before I destroy them.I know I am not going to come out of it. The plans I made to go study law as further studies, get out of the pack and live my life as a
ARIMy life is a mess.It’s a fucked life, painful, dry, bland, void of colour.I am ugly too, rotting slowly inside, underserving of anything good because that’s just what is set in stone for me.Despite it all, despite feeling all of that, as Zade looks at me like I mean something, like I matter … I can't help but want to be under that gaze for a longer time.He is looking at me how he used to look at Olivia, like he might love me, like I mean something. He wants to know if I am okay, taking care of me, a gentle, caring touch on my cold, withering soul.I don’t deserve it, and yet.I yearn for it. Crave it. I can't not shudder under it.“Do you want me to ask you?”Yes. I want him to ask me. I want him to push for me to tell him what's going on in my head. For him to fight for me. I am selfish like that. Mother didn’t say anything untrue, because here I am, asking and taking what doesn’t belong to me.I came into this life, took Olivia’s man under fate’s guidance, and yes. It hurt.
ARII don’t think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it … sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.“Are you okay?” he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.“Yeah,” I wheeze out. “Guess I am a little surprised.”“Why?” he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.“The first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.” That’s not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasn’t the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didn’t come fr