Chapter Nine [ The deepest secrets inside the slum book]

Chapter 9 [ The deepest secrets inside the slum book for young at hearts]

After Christmas, Ericka is suffering from a hangover, and everyone who enjoyed the sharing moments of the true meaning of Christianity still has vivid memories of the previous day's events.

She still has time to enjoy the joy of having a large family at home because her other city relatives extended their holiday activities until the reign of three kings by January.

For the large, extended family reunions, her parents prepared one fatty hog, and all of the close relatives are welcome to join them.

When there is a big celebration in the countryside, other female middle-aged hired farm workers like helping by serving and organizing while the family chats, drinks wine, and eats delicacies prepared by her father, who is a good, skilled chef.

They love Ericka so much that they won't let her perform such a job, despite the fact that she rarely speaks to them because she is too busy with her studies. Ericka is free to do such cooking and housework hard labor when those women are available to take over the task.

Ericka is content and free to do whatever she wants on vacation in those days because her older sisters and relatives are able to perform her task and are free to interact with other women of a similar age. She is also not required to do any housework even though it is the summer and there are no classes in school if those women are available.

While Ericka appreciates that occasionally her male and female friends would pick her up for group conversations away from her parents, she dislikes it when the conversation turns to crushes and admirers because her female peers will expose their secrets if they sign each other's personal slum book. Filling out the personal questions the owner provided for people he/she selected as part of the game reveals every deepest secret.

Young and impressionable Ericka is invited to provide her thoughts on the definitions of love, crushes, admiration, puppy love, true love, and other themes. She is well aware of it, but it is not a top priority.

But until she remembered how she overcame all of her challenges and killed all of her unfavorable attitudes and outlooks on life, she was still unable to describe it clearly.

She finds reasons by saying,

” It is because of,” Ericka is in a moment of silence while her friends are chatting,

She had to look up to the sky to think it over and then she started to get the pen and write this, “Simply LOVE!”

One of her curious female classmates is observing her intently as she continues to write it down saying,

"Why did you hesitate to express how you felt about it? It's very normal for everyone, youthful at heart, to feel admiration for the other sex! Do not claim to be a third-sex gender to me!”

Lani responded in a hurry, sending Ericka's emotions into overdrive and causing her body to begin to boil as her shock caused her eyes to extend outward, stating,

“Obviously not! I don't have any abnormalities, but you all are aware of my priorities. Of course, I also like these feelings of admiration, infatuation, and titillation while I am being ignited, but I've learned to control my feelings and stop acting flirtatious.”

Ericka chuckles as she observes Lani blushing slightly in response to her flirting.

“Yes, you are not flirting, but rather peculiar and unusual, “Lani says. And she strolls off, sulking, like a wild goose.

Ericka finds a quiet place to consider it before answering and recording her thoughts.

"*Love is a weapon to break free from all the chains that keep us from living happy lives.

*A heart attack causes a crush, whereas puppy love refers to a dog's love for its owners. In situations where something seems out of reach, admiration is fantasy or daydreaming.”

Ericka ends up giving responses that cause her classmates' opinions of her to abruptly change,

"Ericka has excellent perspective, but we almost ever notice it because she is the kind of girl who is constantly moving around as if she were in a race to evade our male classmates' tricks and jokes, Hahaha!”

Ericka thought for a moment before joking,

"I lost interest in following my dream to raise my parents' level of living and slightly modernize our lifestyles because they were just full of wisecrack to intimidate me," I said.

While speculating that all of her fellow students are merely attempting to get to know her better and cleanse their negative feelings and thoughts about her, Ericka smiles subtly.

"I like it, but I also need reserve key things for my future ambitions in life as we are competing for the top one and the best-in-class performance rating. I am aware that one of you, my best friend and female classmate, is attacking me behind my back. Because when I disagree with how others praise me yet think differently from what they say about me, I purposefully displayed my quirky and eccentric conduct. Why does it turn out that way? I cherish them. God is perfectly aware of it. But I was baffled as to why, given how quiet I was already, awful stuff was developing about me.”

As her classmates form couples and talk about their private secrets without her, Ericka is in severe pain and unconsciously feels rejected. Ericka notices as she checks her watch,

"My dear classmates, I can no longer stay with you at this time. Father set a limit on how much time I could spend with my friends, so I should leave right away. I still have a way to go and I need to get home to the farm before it gets dark.”

When Ericka turned to take the left path, Noli and his gang were waiting there. As she passed by, the group hurriedly moved forward to follow her, which made Ericka feel anxious and her pulse beat faster than usual.

She is walking with the lads as they are having fun, and one of her distant cousins who was left behind notices this. Ericka greets her and says,

Hello! It's nice to meet you here. We stroll together because I am alone and I need you. It has been a long time since we have spoken.”

Ericka attentively responds to her cousin with joy, but her family members sulk as she says,

"I don't like seeing you and walking with you while you are being obscenely feasted on by such males surrounding you like an a hoar! "As her family split up and took a different route home.

Ericka said, though, that she didn't mind.

"If I am not affected, then such insults and offenses are unworthy in comparison to the such aim I wished to reach!”

She only furrowed her brows as she walked along the rough path to her farmhouse, the boys laughing and joking all around her.

When the males started making fun of her while they were behind her,

"Get going! Nothing positive has occurred thus far, and we are sick of following you while you appear to be upset with us. What is wrong with you?”

Ericka grew enraged when the notorious person made fun of her for walking quickly like she was running. They almost parted ways because of it. She scowled and curled her upper lips upward to show that she was not happy to walk beside them.

As they reach the inner dark plantation, she realizes that just one of them is her neighbor and will be the final man to walk with her. He lives along the neighborhood, while the rest of them are in a different region across from where her farmland is.

“Why do they live on the west side and take this path walk? This is significant already.”

The day after Christmas, Ericka was overcome with bad emotions. She slowed down, let the group cross overpasses until they were far away, and then taking a detour to a banana and cocoa farm owned by a male classmate. Unexpectedly, he appeared in the crosswalk.

He welcomes her, but she merely smiles as she notices that her other male classmates who live nearby are already a few meters behind her. He is the calm sort, and despite the fact that he is a member of the gangs that frequently irritate Ericka, she feels at peace with him.

After a brief talk with Nelson, one of Ericka's former classmates who attended her primary school and has since stopped attending approaches her. He is eager to ask her if she has already received the love note he asked her male cousin to give to her.

"Yes, I got it and I've been keeping it behind the mounds of clothes. What's the wrong with you?”

Ericka asks with distaste. Nelson responds,

“You know Ericka, you shouldn't be offended if we admire you and are courting you. It's common for young at heart people like us to feel this way, and it's thrilling! Is it not?”

Nelson clarifies, but Ericka purposefully expresses unfavorable opinions to those of his, adding,

"Nelson, of course it is natural for us to be in a relationship, but it is not appropriate for me because my father will undoubtedly become upset and forbid me from continuing to study and pursue my higher education, which I detest to think about because I want to one day earn a successful degree to escape my miserable life on the farm where there is no light, no music, no friends, no good food, and no other extraordinarily pleasant scenery that can attract me except for faraway places.”

To help Nelson grasp their differences and the fact that they cannot coexist, Ericka added,

"I like to encounter something unusual like those I heard for radio news and theatre.”

In order to convince Nelson that everything she wants is different from what he provides, Ericka lists everything. She then adds,

“We're still too young to consider a relationship like that. Due to the fact that we both began primary school in the same classroom and were classmates, we are both 13 years old.”

Ericka turns to face Nelson as they walk slowly and her other neighbors slow his steps meter behind them,

“Do you remember when you were asking by our teacher to lead the morning program and you call my name because I was wearing my new yellow dress which attracted you perhaps?

If I'm simply in my school uniform, you won't notice me. However, it is my responsibility to wake up the class with a song before the lecture starts.

Fortunately, my family appreciates the songs I've been studying and memorizing every free day during the weekend. But you hardly ever notice me. Now, you're attempting to prove that you like me? What gives you reasons that I can be your girlfriend?”

Ericka brings up everything so Nelson will feel humiliated by the way she usually treats him.

"I am not now in school because I will run my parents’ farms, and I believe you will be a good housemate and mother to my future children. Can you not like that?”

No matter how hard she tries to understand how much she appreciates such nice offerings from such a rich, wealthy young guy who is not highly educated but hardworking and responsible young man, Nelson's statement made Ericka's heart race but boils her blood.

But Ericka is quick to assume that his father has already approached her father about a marriage proposal, which makes her more agitated and compulsive. Ericka and Nelson broke up without giving a cause for their split.

When a different male student named Rico interrupted, Ericka was left alone and was making her way through Nelson's father's banana plantation on a dim, meandering path. When they get at Ericka's father's plantation, Rico and Ericka cross the river and enter another dim, congested plantation before he departs to head to his own property in the east.

She treated him nicely because she knew Rico wouldn't propose here after knowing that Ericka wasn't ready. They interacted as pleasant neighbors and friends without any malice.

As Ericka returns at her home in the Twilight Zone as Rico goes his separate ways, all of her male family members are drunk and have drooping eyelids.

The majority of the wine bottles, coconut fermented sap, and other alcoholic beverages have been consumed because her large family is constantly hosting celebrations.

"Hey Ericka, you're already late! Does he date you? “

Her senior brother-in-law approaches her, grinning and saying, "That's good that you're still enjoying life when you're young at heart, Hihihi! However, we would prefer that you work toward your objective in the city first so that you can inspire our parents.”

The other guests agreed with a nod and continued their chatting as Rico just greeted them with a nod and then continued straight home to the Eastside.

"No, he's simply my classmate and our next-door neighbor from the east," I said.

Ericka needs to take a peaceful nap in a corner of their home since she is so fatigued from the excitement of Christmas Day. She feels like a fighter as she sits firmly in her chair, ready to defend what she believes in, but she ends up by alone since she senses that her classmates would not be receptive, appreciative, or approachable if she persisted on her individual objectives.

A threat made her cautious, but she chose to keep quiet because others find it easier to talk to them, including her male classmates.

She is overwhelmed by the fact that this new information broadens her comprehension and provides new sources of challenges as she begins a fresh beginning to teach herself how to handle such stages of puberty. She can remember what others have written in the slum book.

Every new person frequently experiences these difficult-to-control emotional tendencies and feelings for the sex opposite during stressful times in their lives.

"It is exhilarating within, yet terrifying and make my heart throb uncontrollable and inexpressible by words how can it exist and emerge freely like if I am in ecstasy." Ericka grins as she looks up at the stunning sky with the full moon shining brightly at night.

She must admit that, although her male teachers are older than her and stunningly attractive rather than handsome, she has feelings for them as well. If she does not stop to think about it, her emotional outburst may result in friction that causes opposite poles to become magnetized to stick together.

She must exercise discretion, caution, and prioritization when choosing what matters most in her life. She must act appropriately and be honest with herself when she smiles to mask the pounding in her heart when her opposite sex approaches her with kindness.

“The right person will approach you, treasure you, and prioritize you, and you will be the most important person in his life because he loves you not as what he expected but as you responded to the demonstration of his courtship that pleases you. This is it, Ericka. Keep calm and relax. Do not be in a hurry to seize the opportunity because many of them still coming and going.”

Ericka closes her tired eyes and her body and reflects after that Christmas event with her extended family in the country, where they all allowed her to interact with her peers of the same generation, age, and perspectives but different ideas and priorities in life.

Apart from her family, who help her grow in confidence while she battles poverty and a lack of many necessities, Ericka is learning a lot of new things because she takes risks to face challenges.