002_Ashes Of Grief

Elora's POV

She let out a moan as his hands found her boobs—squeezing gently—his lips resting on the nape of her neck.

Then his lips trailed down, from collar to chest, to her tummy, to her waist, and then finally resting in between her legs.

She shit her eyes tightly, her right arm grabbing her hair, and the other the sheets beneath them.

Suddenly, her eyes met mine, a grin playing on her lips.

I gasped as I jerked up from bed.

It was all a dream—a stupid one. One with Zeke and Charlotte making love.

I rushed into the bathroom, switching on the shower. The cold water hit my skin, sending a chill that calmed my nerves.

Stepping out, I took a towel and dried myself. I couldn't help but glance at the mirror as I walked by, staring at my blue eyes.

Just then, an image of Dad flashed before my eyes, sending an ache into my heart.

For days I've been thinking about him a lot. Henry Stark—a well-educated gentleman—one of the greatest Betas to have ever lived.

He had raised me on his own after Mom died.

I couldn't help but think about how things would've turned out if he was still alive. Would I be living a better life than this or not?

A chuckle escaped my lips. If Dad were to still be alive, he would be disappointed.

At least he had died on the battlefield. Rather than see me like this, he would have hoped that I would follow in his footsteps or do anything else, other than being a housewife.

I shook my head, wiping the tears I didn't know had left my eyes.

There was nothing I could do about the past, but right now, I had to prepare breakfast for Zeke and me.

I put on something simple and headed downstairs.

It's funny how the morning seemed like an amusement park with different rides that took me down memory lane.

Thoughts of the past came flooding my mind—memories of how I fell. From a former feared Beta and soldier, to a woman working five jobs so I could pay off Zeke's debts.

A month later, I was fired, all because I always looked exhausted when I came into the office. Now, it was like I had been placed in one of those survival games for kids, hoping to survive each day.

After Zeke and I married, I found out he had been owing a large sum of money, which became our debt.

As one of the Beta's of the Pack, I also worked as a soldier. But due to the peace we experienced for years, our workload was reduced, and so was the salary. It could barely pay for our bills, not to talk of the debt.

I had to do different part-time jobs to help support us, like working as a waiter, cleaner, and so on. But soon, the commandant saw how strained I was whenever I showed up at work. So he decided to let me go.

Now all I did was work different odd jobs. It had been going on for years now.

"Hey, baby," Zeke muttered, pulling me out of my thoughts.

He grabbed my waist, placing a kiss on my neck. But I didn't react to it. I couldn't.

Without saying anything else, he helped me set the table for breakfast, while I served the meal.

We ate in silence, but it wasn't long before Zeke broke it.

"It's the anniversary of Katelyn's death tomorrow."

I froze for a second, a spoon of omelet wavering a few inches from my lips. But I soon recovered, putting the food in my mouth.

His words had caught me off guard.

Then he continued. "I was thinking we should go together, sweep her grave, and lay some new flowers for her."

I didn't know what to say. Though I knew he was just trying to make up for what happened yesterday.

Yet, I still couldn't help but feel moved.

Kaitlyn was our child—at least she was supposed to be. She had died in my womb during the period when I started working different jobs.

I hadn't even noticed she was dead. I just realized that a month later, my belly was still the same.

After running some tests, the doctor told me she had been dead for two weeks. Hearing those words was like having a part of Mr ripped out.

To add to it all, the doctor said because of how long a dead baby stayed in womb, that it had damaged it, and I would remain permanently infertile.

Not only did I lose my child, I also lost the opportunity to ever have any ever again.

It always made me feel that Zeke was ashamed of me.

He had never accompanied me to her grave before. He would always say, "Why should I invest so much time in a child that never even got to exist. That would only make me a lunatic just like you. We should have to let go of the past and move on."

I couldn't. It wasn't the same for me.

Besides, he was wrong. She did exist—inside of me.

I remember how faint her kicks were, and the feeling of knowing she ate the food I ate, and breathed the same air I did.

She was alive, a living pup, so she did exist—but not for long.

"What do you say, Ellie," Zeke said as he reached out to me, squeezing my hand gently. "I'm sure Katelyn would be happy to see us there—together—like the family we were always meant to be."

I'm not sure how, but his words seemed to brighten a room in my heart that had been in darkness for long.

I blinked back tears as I nodded.

I guess this was hope—the only thing I needed right now—that Zeke wanted to save our marriage, just like I wanted to.