What Could be The Last Time

SELENA'S P.O.V

A second passed, and silence fell between us. Everyone had gathered around now, yet no one could say a word. Blackmoon. Alpha Cole. All of the things I ran away from.

Jackson cleared his throat. He mostly did that when he absolutely needed to lean into his authority as one of the oldest wolves in this rogue pack.

"It doesn't matter what pack it is," he said, his voice low and authoritative. "We will put together a few of our people and go there and meet the alpha himself. I will send word tonight. We will go with Gabriel. If he decides to punish us, then..."

"No," I said, finally finding my voice. "We are not going to go anywhere. We are not going to beg that man."

Jackson sighed. "You are being irrational, Selena. We know of your history..."

"You know nothing," I said, my voice shaking under the weight of everything. "You know absolutely nothing. That man is a monster, and if you go to him and tell him that we killed his soldiers, no one will make it out. No one."

Mila stepped forward. "Still. In this case, we are the aggressors. We are the ones who need to beg because we are in the wrong."

"Altercations like these happen all the time."

"Not when it looks like we are testing the waters so we can invade," Jackson said, then pulled a seat. "It is what we would think too if a few soldiers came too close to the territory and then attacked three of our soldiers that weren't even fighting back."

I swallowed hard. "And we would be right. They have millions of wolves and thousands of soldiers. What? How will a measly couple hundred of us be a threat to them? If he looks at us, with our shabbily made weapons and elderly population, he truly believes we would be a threat to his pack.... Do you think an apology would fix that mindset?"

Everyone went silent for a long while as the possibility hung over us. I am not going to think of Alpha Cole as the man I fell for, albeit stupidly. I will see him for what he truly is, the bastard who betrayed me.

"You are looking at this through the lens of someone who hates that pack, Selena," Lily said finally, her voice low. "Aren't we better off apologizing to him, and maybe being punished, rightfully, than we are just waiting for him to rain down on us?"

The rest of them nodded, and I just stood there, helpless. Hell, I knew I wouldn't step a foot anywhere near that pack, but the thought of having people who I have come to love close to that man enough for him to do whatever he wanted, it made me sick to my stomach.

"It is settled. The people who were on the hunt and a few elders, including myself, will go to the Blackmoon pack tomorrow itself. I shall send word through Alan tonight since he knows the pack. Whatever he does, we will take it as our consequences."

"I don't think I can go," Alan said immediately, stepping forward. "We didn't part on good terms."

I raised a brow but said nothing. The imminent danger of having delegates go there was far more than the suspicion of Alan that somehow cane crawling back unbidden.

"I will send Micheal, then. He will give word tonight and tomorrow we leave."

Jackson stood up and started to walk away.

"Do you even realize that he could kill you?!" I yelled, my chest heaving. "Do you realize what kind of man he is? I got this scar for him, and still, still he tried to kill me. Don't you even care about the rest of us?"

Jackson turned back to me. "We care about the community, and that is why we are doing this! Look at us. If he comes here with his soldiers, we are all going to end up dead. You have a five year old, look at the innocent cubs running around. Do you prefer that they witness the war, or they slowly realize that a very tiny number of us are gone? We can't fight, Selena. The fact that you think they are that bad is why we need to go there. To protect the rest of us."

Mila nodded. "It is the honourable thing. Despite how the pack is, we are the problem right now, and we need to fix it."

"We should feast," Jackson said simply. "Even if it is the last one."

Tears stung the back of my eyes. I looked at Mila and Lily, the two women who had not only saved me back then but had also been there for the nights when the betrayal cut too deep.

I turned and walked away, abandoning the feast altogether.

I watched the skies, my chest heaving lightly. The fact that people so close to me were coming in contact with Blackmoon and Alpha Cole brought everything back.

I closed my eyes. I thought I was healed. I thought I was moving on. I even agreed to a dance with Alan.

"Amanda was asking of you," Alan said from behind me, his voice low. "She is asleep now."

Fuck. The guilt filled me even more. I turned slowly.

"Am I being unreasonable? You said you were from Blackmoon, too. You even refused to go and give Jackson's message. Are you not aware of what Alpha Cole is capable of?"

Alan went quiet for a long while before he let out a small sigh. "I am. But the rest are correct. It is better for a few of us to go there than for him to find all of us. Sometimes, you sacrifice for the people you love."

He covered the distance to me, then gently cupped my face. My eyes looked up to his, my chest heaving.

"Don't you agree?" He asked, his voice now a low whisper. He leaned closer.

His eyes flicked between my eyes and my lips, and my breath caught in my throat. This... this was it. After all of those years, maybe this was it.

"Is this..." Alan started, moving closer till I could feel his breath on my lips. "Is this no longer a boundary?"

Alpha Cole's voice flooded my mind.

'Is this a boundary?' He had said it right before he took my first kiss.

I immediately moved away from Alan, my heart hammering in my chest, the ghost of Alpha Cole's lips against mine tainting Alan's attempt.

Alan let out a small sigh. "We will wait for them. Mila, Lily, Jackson, Gabriel, and Sarah have decided to go. They will leave early tomorrow. We will be just fine. "

I nodded slowly, and he placed a small kiss on my hairline before he turned and walked away.

I watched his back and then the clench of his fists, and I hated myself a little more.

I barely slept that night. The sun rose steadily over the pack, way too fast. I held Amanda tight in my arms as she slept, like I was half expecting Alpha Cole to find us all before they could make it to him.

"Selena?"

I looked up from the small bed. Mila peeked in, then gave a small smile. She slowly covered the distance to me, then kissed Amanda's head before she leaned away.

"We are all ready. You should come out."

I caught her hand. "Are you really going? What if..."

"I am really going, Selena. It is what is right. He wronged you. Severely. But we have wronged him now, and the scales are uneven as far as he is concerned. Wish us luck. Bless us. Who knows? We might return. And if we don't... at least you met us. We knew you too. I will still be her favourite godmother ahead of that old Lily."

I broke into a laugh, despite the tears that ran down my cheeks steadily.

"Aunt Mila?" Amanda said, stirring.

"Look who is up," Mila said, immediately picking up Amanda. She straightened, and I immediately followed.

"I am going somewhere really quick," Mila said to Amanda, soothing her back. "Make do with your grumpy mummy for now, okay?"

Amanda held on tighter, clinging the way she always did when Mila or Lily had to leave. "Will you bring me butterflies?"

Mila nodded, breaking into a big smile. "A lot of butterflies, Amanda. I promise."

She kissed Mila’s cheek before Mila gave her back to me. I held Amanda tight to my chest despite her preferring to walk most times.

The rest of the delegates were ready. Jackson stood in front, carrying a small curated gift box that he intended to present to Alpha Cole.

It was a sorry attempt. Blackmoon was the wealthiest pack out there. Whatever was in there was mere dust at Alpha Cole's feet.

Lily walked up and kissed Amanda's cheeks, then hugged me tight.

"Stop doing that," I said. "You are acting like you are going there to die."

She broke into a laugh. "I am not dying before Mila, so I will be fine."

"I heard you!" Mila said from where she was standing, and Lily rolled her eyes.

"Take care of my goddaughter. We will be back soon."

Amanda hugged her for a few seconds before she stepped away.

Alan came up to me, his smile a little forced.

"We will be back!" Jackson announced, waving to the rest of us. "Make sure tonight's feast is spectacular."

I waved, watching as they walked away. Mila and Lily turned back to me one last time.

I stood there, holding Amanda, something within me telling me that this could be the last time.