A Tormented Marked Luna

It wasn’t great to wake up the next day. Soporific feeling and confusion were the two things registered in my mind.

I was oddly tired despite waking up on my own. Then, when I felt the pain and soreness of my lower part, it struck me as a reminder of last night’s events.

My eyes widened as I jerked up, ignoring the incessant pain as flashes of that man plunging and thrusting me resurfaced in my mind.

Right now, he wasn’t present before me but I could still feel his hands roughly held on to my hips, intruding in my core as he tore me inside during the marking of our mating ritual.

Who could have thought that mating rites were painful for wolves? 

The flooding memories made me get off the bed, desperately finding a spot to throw up the sickening pit of my stomach.

However, as my leg tangled with the sheets, I clumsily fell off the floor with a loud, painful thud. 

I groaned as the sheet fell off along with me. I tried to pull the heavy cloth off of me until I smelled a strong foul odor before pulling it off my head.

I turned to find its source of the scent until I frozen stiff, color drained instantly from my face when I found it.

Before me, as I was holding it tight, was a mixture of blood and semen…. m-my own blood and his semen that was inside of me.

“Hnn!” Something came out from my mouth and green bile fell directly on that exact spot. I immediately leaned in and threw up the rest, making it worse since the scent made me nauseous. 

Right at that moment, a door burst open and I almost jumped out of fear and I immediately covered myself, despite the goosebump of the sickening feeling of having his dried essence and my own bile and blood sticking to my naked body. 

Please, Hati, not him, not him, NOT HIM!

“What are you doing?” 

A sigh of relief escaped from my lips as I looked up to see an angry middle aged maid, glaring daggers at me. 

The view from below as she looked down on me gave her an intimidating presence. Her eyes moved to the direction of my face and I caught sight of her staring at my lips. 

Later, I had realized that there was a remnant of green bile plastered at the corner of my lip and I turned red before hastily removing it with my knuckle.

She didn’t utter a word as she walked with each thundering step before she slammed the tray of food on the side table.

I immediately flinched, the sudden noise made me release an embarrassing squeak. 

She didn’t say a word but her brown eyes never left my direction. 

“Y-yes?” I started asking, unsure of the outcome.

“You’re a despicable pest, you know that?”

I blinked, confused and unsure how to respond to derogatory words.

“You slept all day without an ounce of effort to please the master. Did your so-called church teach you to be this ungrateful?”

I couldn’t say a word. Knowing that the pack despised Hatiism. Years of ridicule made me aware that any refutes I say to protect Hati would be in deaf ears.

“Hmph! To think you are the luna of our pack, the Seer probably misheard the Moon Goddess’s voice! Even if you are the Alpha Leader’s fated mate, you don’t deserve a single respect from me!”

She turned her heel and was about to leave.

“Wait!” I didn’t know what made me call her. But I was conflicted with curiosity.

She gave me a sideways glare and I could tell that she wanted me to get out of it so she could leave.

“I…” I fumbled my words before looking at her and straightened myself. “L-Lord Varick…w-where is he?”

I didn’t know what ate me to ask but seeing the bright sunset from the outside window view, I knew that I overslept.

The maid gave a clear and intentionally loud sigh. “While you were enjoying your luxurious comfort of sleeping on the master’s bed,” she paused, staring at the stained white sheet with disgust. “And not to mention, ruining his precious belongings… he went off early in the morning for another war.”

“Another war? But the war never ends,” I muttered but the maid overheard that and swiftly turned back.

She marched towards me, her cheeks flared up, gritting her teeth as she raised her hand as soon as she was close proximity—

SLAP!

“You started complaining now?!” She bellowed, glaring at me as I held my reddened cheek.

“My father and brother perished during the war because of your so-called sun god! We would live peaceful lives if it weren’t for that!” Tears fell from her eyes as she wiped them feverishly.

I unconsciously tried to comfort her, putting my hand on her shoulder. 

“Even if the wolves hate him, Hati doesn’t wish harm to any of us.” 

“Fuck you,” she seethed as she pushed my hand aside. 

“Now excuse me, unlike you, I have a lot of things to do. Don’t interrupt me.” She gave me the stink eye before storming off the room. 

“The Moon goddess is a fool to make a Hati cultist the Luna…” she mumbled before slamming the door shut. 

I couldn’t fight back nor I couldn’t get angry at her.

For two hundred years… two centuries now and we continue to have a war against other wolves. The Skollist Pack was declared the enemy of all the wolf packs after our first leader openly supported Hati’s teachings. 

Eventually, those decades of deaths put a negative view on the eyes of the new generations and have long forgotten who Hati was. 

Given the situation, no matter how hard to appease the resentment of the pack, all we could do is pray. 

But our existence only angered the current leader, Varick…my h-husband. 

Perhaps his experience with war made him who he is and after I became his life mate, it only boiled down his existing anger. 

But why me? Hatiist believers don’t have mates the moment they convert themselves as worshippers. 

Why...why did he come before I became an official nun?

I kneeled down on the wooden floor, resting my elbows on the cushion as I looked up, staring as the sun slowly made its way south.

“Dear, sun god, Hati, I pray thee for the safety of the brave wolves fighting for the sake of my pack. Your divine power will never leave them as your selflessness will bring them back safely.”

I paused, the face of my now husband came back in my mind and my heart suddenly raced.

My hands started to tremble as the panic and fear slowly appeared in my thoughts. I gripped my trembling hands tight as I shook my head, feverishly.

I am determined to stay strong. For the sake of the church, for the sake of the pack and for Hati.

Yet, tears naturally fell from my eyes as my shoulders started shaking. 

“A-Also, d-dear sun god, Hati…” I bit my lower lip as I wiped my own tears. “For-forgive me that I have sinned. I’ve become too impure to return to reach out to you…yet, I selfishly hoped for your guidance…”

I stop before forcing a smile. A smile no longer showed the same happiness I had  not too long ago.

“W-Will you forgive your follower for being selfish once?”

I tried to put all my attention on the bright side of my decision. I did it to save the Hatiism church. But the memories of last night continued flooding in my thoughts as I started sobbing.

I fell flat on the bed and wept. 

 I knew it was selfish of me to think and I hoped Hati would definitely forgive me.

That I wanted nothing else but to become a nun.