Chapter 42: Sutton

Lucas took my hand. Without a word, he pulled me through the house and out the back door. Stepping around supplies and yard equipment, he led me to the missing section of fence and into the woods.

“It’s never been explained to you why our wolves are so important to us, has it?” he asked as we reached the edge of a small clearing.

I shook my head. “They give you power,” I guessed. “Make you stronger than others.”

“No,” Lucas said. “That’s a product of our existence, yes, but that’s not what makes us lycans. The truth is, it’s not something that’s easily explained. Nor easily understood when you haven’t experienced it yourself.” He turned to me, hooking my chin with his fingers. “You’ve only seen how a lycan can use his wolf to do terrible things. All you know is the darkest parts of our nature, Sutton. Let us show you something better.” He took a few steps back, breaking physical contact but keeping his eyes locked on mine. “Don’t be afraid.”

Before I could say anything, he shifted. It was a process I had seen before, but it was often followed by torment. So, when his huge wolf came into form and straightened in front of me, I couldn’t stop the involuntary step back I took.

The wolf lowered his front legs, holding a crouched position and he hung his head. As if he was bowing to me in some way. He stayed that way like he was waiting for something.

Rhonen, I recalled Lucas telling me, was his name.  I thought Mason’s wolf, Kahn, had been big. Alpha Anders’ was even bigger. Rhonen almost seemed larger than both of them put together. Standing on all fours, our eyes met directly. And I wasn’t short by most standards.

My heart, which had been racing the moment Lucas had caught me in the hall, began to slow. I found myself strangely curious about the texture of his fur. I didn’t even realize I had raised my hand until he lifted his head and stepped into my touch.

His fur was surprisingly soft. There was a trace of coarseness on the blonde-tinted surface but as my fingers buried into the dark depths of black fur beneath it was almost like silk. I pushed my hand through, gathering the hair between my fingers. Rhonen closed his eyes and nuzzled against my chest. I chuckled as his tail wagged happily.

Lucas had mentioned more than once that Rhonen wanted to meet me. It was strange to think about knowing that Rhonen was so much a part of him. Technically, he’d met me the moment Lucas had. But I was starting to understand how this was different.

I’d never experienced this with Mason. His wolf, Kahn, had always seemed to hate me. Mason disliked that I was a human. He didn’t care for me like a partner should. But he at least had moments where he treated me with decency. Kahn just despised me. I never truly understood why, but I assumed it was because I didn’t have a wolf myself.

But that didn’t seem to make a difference to Rhonen. He was enjoying the interaction as I was. That could have been because he knew I had a wolf somewhere inside me but… it didn’t feel that way. Then again, maybe I was just being delusional. Talking myself into something again.

Rhonen nudged me a little harder, pulling me out of my thoughts. Nudging me again, he nearly knocked me over. He caught me on his back. Before I knew it, he had wiggled a little and tossed me all the way on top of him. I grabbed a fistful of fur and squeezed my legs as I straddled him, trying to keep from toppling over to the ground. A sound rumbled in his chest. It almost sounded like a laugh

“Well, you could have warned me better,” I told him but found myself smiling nonetheless.

He made a chuffing sound and I couldn’t help but snuggle closer. Then he took a few steps forward. I gasped, holding tighter. The rumbling chuckle sounded again from Rhonen before he suddenly took off.

My heart jumped into my throat as we raced through the trees. Everything was a blur around me. The cool night air felt a lot colder, whipping at my face. Whatever was happening was… surprisingly exhilarating. Despite my struggle to orient myself.

Rhonen slowed. I started to feel more comfortable — more stable — from my position on his back. I started to laugh as he led us through the landscape. I couldn’t remember a time I had experienced so much at once.

He took his time before I saw the silhouette of the house coming into view. We stopped in the clearing we had begun in just outside the fence line. I slid off Rhonen’s back, keeping a hand in his fur as I moved to face him.

“Thank you,” I whispered before burying my face in his neck and wrapping my arms around him.

The softness dissipated, replaced by a familiar firmness. Lucas’s arms enveloped me. His lips pressed against the top of my head.

“I felt close…” I tried to explain. “Close to the world. That sounds strange but it’s…”

“I understand,” Lucas replied. “We live in this world, but through the eyes of our wolves, we’re a part of it in a much deeper way. It will be even more intense when you shift.”

I lifted my head from his chest. “As wonderful as that was, I still need time to process everything. I still don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of change. Not with everything else in my life so… broken.”

“Then why make a decision?” he asked sternly. “You made a choice tonight, Sutton. I’m doing everything in my power to give you the time you need. I know that you feel like your life is falling apart but the truth is, you never had a life to begin with. That was stolen from you. In so many ways. I will help you make sense of it all. I will give you the life you deserve, Sutton. You said you’d give me that chance.”

Tears stung my eyes again. “Stop…”

“No.” His hand went around my jaw, lifting it to meet his gaze. “I would bring the world to its knees for you, Sutton. If that is what you need. I would do anything but let you go. Not without a fight. You will not make this decision for me.”