Chapter 5: Sometimes, the past is not gone

April

              It has been two days since Connor dropped me off at home and, I have yet to get control of my emotions. He’s so damn sexy and infuriating at the same time.

              Thankfully, the bruises have faded, so I can go back to wearing crop tops.

              As soon as I walk into Sweet Perfect, Maleah gives me a concerned frown. “Hey, April, how are you? I forgot to ask about Micah bringing you home the other night.”

              I nod my head. “I’m fine. I just got into a bit of trouble.”

              Her brow furrows with concern. “Oh, okay. Is there anything I can do?”

              I think about Micah asking me to find a way to distract myself. I need to fill my time, and the best way to do it is by working. “Actually, there is something. I thought maybe I could pull more shifts at Sweet Perfect. Would that be okay?”

              Maleah smiles. “Sure, babe. If it doesn’t interfere with school, I’d be happy to give you more hours. Tell you what, we’re catering another party for Senator Tomlin’s daughter. Would you be interested in taking charge of helping me manage the event?”

              I squirm, unsure about how I feel about it. This is definitely not what I expected. “What? Um…really?” I mean, I like working at SP, but it’s not what I dream of doing with my life. Not when what I really want to be is an Assassin. But I guess this will do until I can prove to Micah that I’m ready.

              She nods enthusiastically. “Sure. I mean, you’ve learned the ins and outs of the shop over the past couple of years. You’ve been a pretty amazing employee, if I say so myself.  I didn’t ask before because I didn’t want to add to your workload. I’m sure you probably have different goals after you graduate. But for now, how about you gain some more experience. What do you think? Are you ready to do more for Sweet Perfect?”

              At her words, I try to sound enthusiastic. I don’t want to hurt her feelings because she’s so kind.  “Yeah, that would be great. Thanks.”

              She mirrors my smile.“That’s settled then. I’ll send you the catering orders and let you work it out with the clients.”

              As soon as she asks, I begin a plan in my mind. “Alright. I won’t let you down.”

              “I know you won’t, girl,” Maleah states with a pat on my back. 

              Even if working at Sweet Perfect is not where I saw myself going, it feels good to have something to do. I’ve always enjoyed working with Maleah. Sweet Perfect’s catering is in high demand. Maleah does a lot of work for very important people in the city. Over the years that I’ve worked at Sweet Perfect, I’ve helped cater to some pretty prominent people. I’ve even met a few. I rocked all of those jobs. Too bad that my personal life is such a mess.

              Thankfully, the next two weeks go off without incident. Tonight, Maleah is holding a fundraiser for underprivileged youths at the Sweet Perfect catering warehouse. The place is bigger than the shop and useful for large crowds. I’ve worked hard all week to make the fundraiser is a success. I can’t let Mal down. Not the way I’ve let others down in the past. That’s why I pushed thoughts of the encounter with Connor from my mind and focused on work. Unfortunately, this morning didn’t start out well. As soon as I stepped out of my apartment, I found a blond doll with blood spatters, a scratched out eye, and a missing leg on my doorstep. Written on the doll’s back was the word, die bitch. My throat clogged, wondering who would play such an unamusing prank. Not giving it another thought, I threw the doll in the back of my hall closet and moved on with my day.

              Looking down at my black Sweet Perfect t-shirt and black pleated skirt, I adjust the hem and make sure my ponytail is straight. I don’t want any strands of my honey-gold hair out of place. 

              As I stroll through the warehouse’s gleaming checkered floors, my peep-toe heels make clicking sounds. I make sure to straighten the wildflower vases stationed on the tables and the candle votives with every step.

              Earlier, Maleah, one of the interns, and I set up several pastry tables and various drinks for our guests. The decorations reflect the shop’s Parisian theme with Paris paintings, white wrought iron tables with chairs.

              As the guests stroll around the floor and mingle, I make sure that everything is in order. Maleah invited most of her friends and family to commemorate Maleah’s new endeavor, which means the place is crowded. I watch from the corner of the room as Sophia and Micah feed their daughter, Ali, a cupcake.

              Sage and Priest are on the other side talking with Santana, Declan, Gideon, and Jade, while the others are mingling around the room.

              My heart skips a beat when I catch a glimpse of Connor and Corbin talking to Maleah’s husband, Jaxon.

              It has been two weeks since my encounter with Connor, and my heart skips a beat every time I think about how close we were to making out. Of course, I pretended that his comments didn’t face me. But deep down, I wondered if I imagined his heated stare.

              I didn’t lie when I said that I’ve been with other guys. It’s not like I’m a virgin. After Micah rescued me, I needed a way to deal with everything that happened. The year before Micah and Sophia’s parents took me in, I was sent to a home where I did some light drug use. One of the boys in the home was a real troublemaker, and I just wanted to feel, so I let him take my virginity in one of the home’s bathrooms. Sex became an escape for me during that time. I’d just troll for a guy in school, or anywhere I was and let them do whatever they wanted to me. I’m actually surprised that I didn’t get an STD or get pregnant, considering how indiscriminate I was with my body.

              I stopped a couple of years after I moved in with Tate and Chelsea. Thankfully, they never found out about my reckless behavior. I don’t know if it was their patient or kindness, but I didn’t want to keep messing up my new life. I guess that’s when I turned my pain into self-hatred and focused all of those feelings on fighting. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be working out for me either. That doesn’t mean that I stopped having sex. It just means that I was more discriminate in my choices. It did a fat lot of good, considering that I was labeled a whore in high school even though I only had sex with a handful of guys. One of which I thought I loved. But there’s really no reason to rehash that because I made that asshole pay for bragging about banging me to his friends. Let’s just say he doesn’t wrestle anymore and leave it at that.

              Micah was beyond enraged when the principal called him into the office to complain about me beating up his star wrestler. Needless to say, that conversation didn’t go well for the principal, the guy, or his family after they saw things my ex posted about me. Thankfully, Tate and Chelsea had already left for Switzerland when this occurred. When Micah threatened to sue the family and the school, everyone agreed that it would be best to move on from the situation and call it a learning experience for both of us. That was the first of many fights Micah had to bail me out of. God, my life sucks.

              Swallowing deeply, I push those painful memories to the back of my mind and take another turn around the room.

              “Hey, April, you’ve done such a great job here.” Sophia smiles widely as she wraps her arms around my shoulders.

              I pat her back awkwardly, my eyes meeting Micah’s kind ones. He must see that Sophia’s embrace makes me uncomfortable because he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her away.

              Micah always does things like this for me. Somehow, without me having to tell him, he understood that I have problems with touching. And by touching, I don’t mean sex. Sex, in my mind, is not intimacy. To me, it’s a way to relieve a need. I think of sex as I would an instruction manual─insert slot A into slot B.

              Considering my past, I have difficulty trusting people to get close to me in an intimate fashion. I don’t even let Tate or Micah hug me, and they’re the only men I trust.

              “Hey, I think you did a good job too,” his expression softens with an underlying message. I can clearly tell that he’s telling me that I’m on the right track to where I really want to go.

              “Thanks, guys. It’s nice that Maleah trusts me.”

              Micah’s lip quirks. “Don’t be so humble, kid. Maleah thinks the world of you. She’s always telling us about how hard you work at the shop.”

              Sophia nods. “Yeah, you know Maleah put you in charge of catering because she’s seen how hard you work, not because you’re a friend. That’s not how Maleah works.”

              At Sophia’s words, a tension that I didn’t know I was holding slowly drains from my shoulders. It’s nice to be appreciated.

              As the night progresses, the crowd begins to dwindle.

              I’m placing the last empty platter on one of the counters when Santana calls me over. As I stride toward her, my throat contristing and my heart flipping inside my chest. Connor is standing with her and Declan. Like every man in the room, Connor is wearing a tailored suit that molds perfectly to his muscular frame. I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but I feel like I’m falling when I look at him, but I know that I’m going to break.

              “Hey, guys,” I mumble evenly.

              Connor narrows his eyes but doesn’t greet me─the dick.

              Santana places her hand on my shoulder, which makes me stiffen uncomfortably. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to notice. She’s such a sweetheart that it would pain me if she noticed that I wasn’t comfortable.

              Tonight, she’s wearing a gorgeous red polka-dot summer dress and holding a nearly empty wine glass in her hand.

              “Hey, April. You did a nice job tonight.” She says sincerely.     Declan nods while Connor remains quiet. Of course, I do my best to not look at him when I reply. But boy, do I want to smack his arrogantly handsome face.

              “Thank you.”

              Unfortunately, I have to endure Connor’s presence because Santana continues the conversation. Surprisingly enough, he and Declan remain silent. As I continue to stand there, I can feel the heat of Connor's stare. He must hate the fact that Santana and Declan like me. I heard that Santana is not a fan of Connor’s revolving door. Not that I’d be one of the women taking a spin, considering he thinks I’m just a silly girl. If he only knew.

              “Alright, San, I think we’ve monopolized enough of April’s time,” Connor interjects. “I’m sure she has other things to do, like clean tables and serve everyone or something. Don’t you, kid?” he says with a pointed look in my direction.

              I arch a brow and give him my best smart-aleck smile before I blast him. “Yeah, that’s all we do. I’ll make sure to tell Maleah you said that.”

              To my satisfaction, Connor’s face pales. He knows that Maleah will rip him a new one for implying that all she does is clean and serve people.

              Smiling widely, I grab a nearby tray, raise it next to my head, and curtsy before I walk away. Declan’s laughter follows me as I make my way to the other side of the store.

              I avoid Connor and his family for the rest of the night. It isn’t until closing time that I run into Connor again.

              This time he’s flirting with one of the pretty servers, Miley. Miley has short red hair, porcelain skin, and a voluptuous body. She also hates me. Miley has worked with Maleah on and off for a couple of years in hopes of getting promoted. Unfortunately, Miley has shitty business skills, so Maleah never promoted her. Miley doesn’t realize that if she wasn’t consistently late or take days off every week, Maleah would have given her the position. Miley is lazy, and Maleah has no tolerance for lazy people. I remember all the times that she had to reprimand Miley for forgetting to balance the register and not cleaning up before closing. Right now, she doesn’t look very happy that Maleah gave me a position that she half-heartedly tried to attain for years, and a part of me relishes the thought.

              Don’t judge me too harshly. Miley is a bitch.

              I was fifteen when Maleah offered me a job at Sweet Perfect, and Miley was one of the hostesses. Unfortunately, when she learned about my crush on Connor, she would incessantly tease me, and she’d flirt with him in front of me.

              “Hey, April, congratulations on the catering gig. I was so surprised Maleah let a kid run something so important. But hey, it’s her business if she wants her shop to be run to the ground.” She mutters passive-aggressively.

              “Thanks,” I reply snidely. “I guess knowing how to manage the accounts and how to keep the place sparkling clean while maintaining an amazing attendance record paid off.”

              Her smile disappears instantly, which makes my inner demon sneer. Hey, I know that I should be above petty shit and all, but what can I say? I’m an asshole.

              Sneering, she wraps her arm around Connors and whispers something in his ear. However, gauging from Connor’s reaction, I can tell that it was something sexual. Lip quirked, Connor nods his head and whispers something back, making her smirk as she takes a step back and says out loud. “Alright, let me gather my things and say my goodbyes.”

              I bite my tongue, resisting the urge to say something else, and pretend that I’m not bothered as I begin to gather all of the nearly-empty glasses from the table.

              “Have a good night, kid.” Connor wiggles his brows and steps around me. “I know I will.”

              His body brushes mine as he passes me by, making my body heat with delight. But I don’t react. I refuse to let him see how he affects me. It doesn’t help that when Connor gets me angry, he also gets me horny. It’s just not a good combo when it comes to someone as volatile as me.

              Soon after, Maleah calls an end to the party, and everyone starts gathering their things. The band is already packed and gone along with the serving crew that I hired.

              Santana and Declan stop to talk to Connor, halting his plans, which gives me time to gather my things, say goodbye to Maleah and leave. To my relief, Maleah hired a cleaning service, which means that I don’t have to stick around and clean. Thankfully, I don’t have to take the subway since my apartment is seven blocks from the warehouse. Unfortunately, the night has grown colder, and my jacket is not warm enough, so I begin to grow cold within minutes of my walk. I’m shivering, and my teeth are chattering so hard that I nearly turned back. I consider calling Micah, but he and Sophia left after Ali began fussing.

              Looking down at my phone, I tuck in my chin and continue to walk. I’m several blocks away when a car pulls up beside me. It’s Connor, and Miley isn’t with him.

              He opens his window and calls out. “Get in; I’ll give you a ride.”

              I hesitate at first because I’m mad at him, but then I realize that it’s not worth freezing my ass over.

              Sliding inside the passenger seat, I buckle in, close the door, and settle my frozen hands in front of the heating vents.

              Connor takes both of my hands and rubs them. “Jesus, you’re hands are like ice blocks. You do know it’s the middle of winter, right? Why didn’t you ask someone for a ride?”

              I arch a brow but don’t remove my hands from his grip. “I didn’t expect it to be this cold, and Micah and Sophia had already left.”

              His brow furrows, but he doesn’t comment about it anymore.

              I look at his graceful fingers and frown. Where is Miley? I want to ask him so badly, but I don’t know how to bring it up without sounding like a stalker.

              Biting my lower lip, I stare straight ahead and mumble. “I thought you and Miley were going to hook up.”

              His gaze meets mine before he turns back and looks ahead. “I was going to, but then she started whining about something stupid, so I changed my mind and ditched her. I just want to get laid, not have a conversation.”

              I arch a brow. “You’re such a gentleman.”

              Connor snickers. “At least I’m honest.”

              I bite my lip and chuckle.

              My cell phone rings at that moment. Frowning, I answer the call. It’s Maleah. “Hey, Mal, did I forget something?”

              Mal’s harried voice instantly flows through the receiver. “Please tell me that you’re not home yet.”

              I look at Connor, who gives me an inquisitive look.

              “No, but I’m on my way. Why?” I reply.

              “Because there was a break-in at the shop. The police just called me. Someone broke all of the windows and trashed the inside. The police have it all on lockdown, and Jaxon is sending maintenance men to do the repairs. Regrettably, they won’t be done until tomorrow night, which is why you should stay somewhere else until they’re done. Is there somewhere else you can stay for the night? You're welcome to stay with us.”

              I shake my head as if she can see my gesture and quickly reply. “No! I mean, thanks…I’ll call Micah.”

              “Sorry for booting you out, sweetie, but I don’t want to worry about you tonight. Goodnight.” She says before she disconnects the call.

              Slapping my phone down on my lap, I release a deep breath and slump back in my seat.

              “What’s wrong?” Connor asks.

              “Some assholes trashed Sweet Perfect, and Maleah thinks it's best if I stay somewhere else for the night since my apartment is above the shop.”

              “What!? That sucks! Do you want me to take you to Micah’s.”

              I shake my head. There’s no way that I’m staying at Micah and Sophias’ place. They have enough to deal with taking care of Ali, and there aren’t enough bedrooms, so I’d end up sleeping in the living room. Their apartment is big but not big enough to keep out all noise. The last time I stayed there, I slept on their couch and spent the whole night covering my ears because Ali kept waking up. They felt bad because Ali has sleep issues, and I’m too big for her bed. It was also pretty uncomfortable because Sophia kept treating me like a little kid. I felt so smothered that I’d work late at Sweet Perfect so I wouldn’t have to come home. I know Sophia means well, but I’m just not comfortable in such tight quarters.

              “To be honest, I think Maleah is being overprotective. I should be fine in the apartment. Just take me home.”

              Connor’s brow furrows. “That’s not going to happen. I’ll take you to Micah’s place.”

              “No!” I place my hand on top of his before he can turn the steering wheel. “It’s fine. I’ll just call one of my friends and see if I can stay with them.”

              “Oh yeah?” He asks incredulously. “Call them now. Go on. I’ll wait.”

              I swallow hard. He has called my bluff. I really don’t have many close friends. It’s difficult for me to get close to people after everything that I went through. Looking at him from the corner of my eye and puff out an exasperated breath. “Alright, you got me; I don’t have any freaking friends. But I can’t go to Micah’s. They’re already stressed with dealing with Ali’s sleep issues. Just drop me off at a hotel or something. I’ll figure it out.”

              His jaw pops as he slows the vehicle down and turns on a different street. Thankfully, it’s head in the opposite direction from Micah’s house. Lifting my phone, I search for an affordable hotel. “Okay, there’s a Holiday Inn Express around the corner. You can leave me there.”

              When he drives past the hotel, I turn to him and scowl. “What the hell, Connor? You just passed the hotel. Turn around.”

              Connor shakes his head. “Do you honestly think I would leave you at a hotel? You can stay at my place. You can stay in my room, and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

              He sounds so put out that I have to instantly decline. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to put you out. I’ll just go to Micah’s place.” I sound almost as enthusiastic as a child going to the doctor, which Connor picks up quickly.

              He puffs out another breath and rolls his eyes. “It’s fine. It’s late anyway. I’m sure you don’t want to wake them up.”

              Giving him a grateful smile, I melt back in my seat and whisper. “Thanks.”

              I try not to show how delighted I am at the idea of spending the night at his place by keeping it cool, but inside, the little devil in my shoulder is ecstatic at the thought. Even though it sucks that Sweet Perfect was vandalized, I can’t help but be excited. Does that make me a bad person?