Chapter 1: Pathetic As You

~SHARON

It feels like ages since I skipped out of my family’s house, just so I could make my own rules and chase my dreams. It was good for a bit, you know? I didn’t just find my own strength in music and acting, but I also thought I’d found the real deal when it came to love. Sat in the living room of his massive house, I looked at James, the guy I was so into, who, lucky for me, was the top dog at the record company I was signed to. He’d asked me to come over, and I was dying to know what it was about. “Sharon, you can’t do music anymore,” he said, looking down like he was sad.

 

“Come again?” I said, my smile fading. “You know that’s not on, right? James, I have fans now, loads of songs. All I need to do is keep making music, or I’ll just disappear. What are you even saying?” I was so confused.

“Come on, babe, don’t you love me anymore? Look, I think it’s time we settled down and had kids. If you keep singing and going on tour, you won’t have time for us. Your songs are safe, trust me, and no matter how long it takes you to make another song, trust me, your fans will be waiting. But if you don’t want this anymore and don’t love me anymore…”

“Umm, it’s okay. I love you as much as I love my job. I’ll listen to you, but first, please, I need to think about this, okay?” I said and went closer to him, trying to understand.

“There’s nothing to think about. Or don’t you think I can look after you and give you all the good things in life?” He said, looking right into my eyes.

“I do think you can, and that’s why we’re together. Okay, fine. I agree,” I said, trying to sound sure, and he smiled, finally.

“That’s really sweet of you. Now I know you really love me, and because of that, you can write songs, honey, okay? That way, you’ll have money coming in. Mia, who is signed to my record company, can sing any song you write since she’s your friend, or you can pick whoever you think would be good.” He said, trying to make it sound like a good thing.

“Um, that’s fine. I mean like you said, Mia is my friend so yeah, I can write for her,” I agreed, but deep down, I knew it was a mistake.

It’s been two years since I agreed to that, and now, I was sat in the same place, feeling awful about it with my head all bloody and sore. The whole living room was so quiet, and my heart hurt at how much I had put up with. I heard someone coming and jumped, trying to get myself together, but I was a mess.

James tapped my shoulders from behind and when I looked at him, I could see this nasty smile. He was nothing like what I thought he was. “James, I think we need to talk,” I said, trying to be brave, even though I was shaking.

He sat closer to me and looked at me hard, like he was trying to scare me. “What is it, love?” He asked, his voice all sweet but cold.

“James, look at me,” I said, pointing at my whole body, which was a total mess. My clothes were ripped, and my body had marks, which showed how bad it was. “I am now a shadow of myself,” I said, my voice all rough and shaky. “I know I loved you but this isn’t the life that you promised me, is it?”

“What do you want me to do about your dirty self then?” He said, and it felt like a punch to the gut.

“I just want you to be better to me, and if you won’t, can you at least give me my money? I have written loads of songs for your company for two years now, but I haven’t been paid anything. I am also running out of money. There is a lot to…”

PAK! PAK!!

He jumped up and before I could even blink, I had been slapped twice, hard.

I put my head on my lap, feeling so bad and in so much pain. Even after I tried to calm down, I couldn’t lift my head up again because I was scared of being hit again. “You know I hate it when you say no to me,” he said, all angry, and got up. When he was gone, I lifted my head and saw he had gone into his kitchen. My heart was going crazy as I didn’t know what he was going to do. A few seconds later, he came out of the kitchen with some plates in his hands, and when he got close, I tried to get up, but it was too late. The plates had already hit my body, and they broke. I held myself, trying to stop the pain. “You haven’t even done the dishes yet and you want money? I have never seen a woman as dirty and disgusting as you. I guess your family didn’t bring you up right, did they?”

“Don’t… Don’t you dare talk about my family when you’re calling me names, James. You can hurt me as much as you want because I loved you, but you will not talk about my family, okay?” I said, trying not to cry.

I felt his hands on my throat as he pushed my back hard against the wall behind me. “And what if I do?” He said right in my face, his eyes scary. I had my eyes shut because I couldn’t look at him. “Aren’t they as pathetic as you? Oh, okay, I will say they’re not, but trust me, they don’t care if you’re alive or dead, so you can only do what I say, got it?” He said. “Do you hear me?” He shouted in my face, and I was so scared.

I was finding it hard to breathe and needed to get out of this so I wouldn’t die, so I nodded my head with a silent; Yes!